Fic: Cover Up The Damage [10/10]
Title: Cover Up The Damage
Fandom: Merlin
Rating: M
Characters/Pairings: Morgana/Arthur, Merlin, Arthur and Gwen
Disclaimer: Not mine!
Summary: The public believe that Morgana le Fay has it all; she’s stunningly beautiful, envied by most women and fancied by most men, she’s going out with ‘Britain’s sexiest man’ and she’s a world-renowned classical pianist. But something has just blown her world apart.
Warnings: Pre-fic Incest (nothing graphic). Expletives. Modern AU.
A/N: Beta'd by thelovelylaura
Thank you to thelovelylaura for reviewing the last chapter and to themirrorofsin for all of her lovely reviews.
10. Fresh Starts and New Beginnings
Merlin could see why she had chosen this place to live. As he drove through the Devonshire countryside he considered how refreshing it was to be away from the city and the constant media attention that came with being 'Morgana le Fay's possible secret lover and father of her child'. Out here Morgana was away from pretty much everything. As he approached her house (after getting lost multiple times) he realised that she hadn't been exaggerating when she had said that it was in the middle of nowhere; green fields and a small wood were all that could be seen apart from a little farmhouse in the distance.
As Merlin pulled into the drive he noticed Morgana out in the courtyard, "Morgana!" he called as he got out of his banged up old Micra, "This place is beautiful!"
She walked over to him, the vision of beauty with a large smile upon her face, "Isn't it just? A far cry from little ol' Camelot!" she placed her arms around her friend.
"You look fantastic Gana! I know you've been told a million times before, but you really are mad moving house two weeks after giving birth! Not that you look worse for wear." He kissed her on the forehead and surveyed the beautiful old farmhouse before him.
"Now you're just being kind!" She laughed, "And I know how mad I am, I'm bloody exhausted!"
"Merlin! You're here!" Morgause came out of a side door carrying a bundle of blankets that presumably contained a baby.
"I was wondering where my little Goddaughter-to-be was hiding! Being the doting auntie Morgause?" He kissed her on the cheek before peeking through the blanket, "Oh Gana, she's so precious!" He had never been exactly broody before, but just thinking that this little tiny person had come from the people that he had known since he was just a teenager, it almost felt mad in itself.
"Isn't she just?" Morgause grinned proudly as the baby began to wriggle, "And so tiny! But I think she wants her mummy!"
Morgana took the baby back into her arms, "Gause, I leave her with you for five minutes and you wrap her up like this! It's not like she's going to freeze in this weather." The baking heat had forced Morgause into one of Morgana's light floral summer dresses.
"Are the others here yet?" He asked, resisting the urge to go ridiculously gooey as Morgana took off her daughter's blankets to reveal the tiny little girl underneath them with her stick-thin long legs and her almost unbelievably tiny fingers.
"Yeah, I think Gaius is making tea and Gwen and Arthur are trying to set up one of the spare beds." She smiled, so happy to finally have all of her friends back together again. She led Merlin and Morgause through to the lounge, "So this is it, this is home now."
The room was scattered with various baby items, "I swear she has more stuff than Morgana and she's only two weeks old!" Morgause laughed affectionately. Things had already changed drastically since her niece was born, and she couldn't feel more grateful for that; Morgana was determined to give her daughter the best life possible and not let any of her mental problems affect that. She had finally gotten the fresh start that she deserved.
Arthur looked upon his family. He was only actually related to two people here, yet he knew that every other person was like a brother or a sister or a father. He couldn't stop staring at Morgana, and he knew that he probably never would; both of them knew that they would never really be able to accept each other as brother and sister, but that wouldn't stop them seeing each other, bringing up their daughter together. He still lived in Camelot, but he would be down there most weekends to see them, to watch his daughter grow up and his sister grow better.
When he had seen Morgana just over three months ago in the clinic for the first time, though she had seemed so much better than before, she wasn't ready to be a mother, she wasn't capable to look after a child yet. She had been beautiful, and she had seemed confident, but he knew that she was just masking fears and anxieties that wouldn't just go away. Of course she still had these anxieties, she still struggled with life, but she was finally happy with who she was again.
He looked at her, lying in her sister's arms, obviously completely exhausted from looking after a newborn and from moving house. She held her hungry daughter at her breast, smiling down on her, finally looking so serene and happy. Her phone rang, and she left the room to answer it, taking her baby girl with her.
"You know, I want another hold soon." Gaius told them, just as proud of the little girl as everyone else is. He had watched Morgana grow up from a girl into a beautiful young woman and then a mother. Of course he had played his part in contributing to her breakdown, but much to the objections of Morgause, he had been forgiven by Morgana.
Evening started to draw in and lights were turned on, "Morgana's been gone for twenty minutes now, don't you think one of us should check on her?" Gwen asked.
"I'll go." Merlin replied, stiffly standing up from his position on the floor. He wondered for a moment why he was always the one who ended up on the floor when there wasn't enough chairs. He didn't know his way around the house yet, but after some searching he made it to Morgana's bedroom. He knocked on the door but received no answer. Of course it was entirely possible that she was somewhere else, but he had already checked outside, "Morgana are you in there? Can I come in?" He heard gentle sobs coming from the room, "Morgana I'm coming in now." It took him a second to find her, she had curled herself up in the corner of the room, hidden by her bedside cabinet. She was white as a sheet and shaking like a leaf, "Morgana, what's wrong, what's happened?"
Unable to speak, she gestured to her phone.
"Who was it who called you?" Merlin knelt before her. He tried to put his hand on her shoulder, but she flinched, pulling her arm away from him, "Please Gana, tell me who it was."
"Uther." She whispered, stifling a sob. She suddenly stood up, putting her hands over her ears, "I can't do this!" She shouted, near hysterical, "I don't want to do this!" she burst out crying and fell into Merlin's arms.
"I don't know what you mean Morgana." He struggled to hold her upright, so gently brought her back down to the ground, "Morgana will you tell me what's going on? What did Uther say?"
"That he wanted to make things right between us," She sobbed, "It's not what he said, it's just hearing him speak to me after all of this time."
Morgause suddenly burst into the room, "What's going on? We heard shouting!"
The others weren't far behind her, "Where's the baby?" Arthur asked looking around.
Merlin hadn't even noticed that she was missing, "Morgana? Morgana where is she?"
"What?" asked Morgana, sounding dazed.
"Morgana, where's Elayne?" He asked her slowly, staring her in the eye.
Morgana thought to herself for a moment, "She's in the bathtub."
The colour in everybody's faces drained. There were a few moments in which the five of them just stared at each other. Morgause and Arthur ran out of the room, they couldn't get to the bathroom quickly enough. They had never felt so relieved when they found her lying in the empty plastic baby bathtub, wide awake and seeming perfectly content.
"I thought I was going to drop her through shock when I was on the phone, so I just put her down." Morgana told Merlin quietly, confused at everyone's reaction.
Arthur came back into the room carrying Elayne in his arms, "She's fine."
Morgana wondered why he had said that, wondered why she might not have been fine. She wrapped her arms around her legs, and couldn't help but start crying again.
Morgause sat down beside her sister and placed her arm around her body, "I thought things were better Morgana, I thought things were okay now."
"My head's just so full of stuff, I can never relax properly, I just keep thinking, all of the time!" Morgana told her through the tears.
Gwen, Gaius and Merlin decided to give them some space. Arthur sat on Morgana's bed, cradling his daughter.
"Thinking about what?" Morgause asked. Half an hour ago they had all been so happy, but now it was like they were back to eight months ago.
"Everything. Me and Arthur, the baby that we lost, my parents, Elayne. I was so worried that there was going to be something wrong with her, something that they hadn't picked up in the scans, and I thought that worrying would by over once she was born if we found out that she was healthy, but it's not. I'm still scared, I'm scared all of the time. Scared about everything." She hadn't let anyone know how bad things were for fear that she would be put back into the clinic and have Elayne taken from her, but the truth was that she was struggling to cope. Her mind was a mess and she often struggled to think about things clearly.
"I'm so sorry Morgana," Morgause kissed her on the forehead, "I should have known. I don't know how we could have accepted you getting better so quickly, not after everything that you went through."
Half an hour later everyone was sat back in the living room, all of them in more or less the same positions as earlier that evening, but things had changed since then.
"Morgana, you mustn't keep things hidden from us anymore. We all love you and we want you to get better." Morgause held onto her hand.
Morgana looked up at her, "Better? Will I ever get better? I feel as though I'm getting more and more crazy everyday."
"You're not crazy Morgana." Gaius told her. And of course because he was a physician that meant that he was right.
"We're going to help you get better Morgana, all of us. We're all your family." Gwen smiled.
"It might take a while, but you won't feel this way forever. I promise you that Morgana." Her sister's eyes glistened with sadness and with hope.
Morgana didn't say a word. She laid Elayne in Merlin's arms before standing up and walking over to her piano which was sitting lonely and still in the corner of the room. She dragged her finger across the lid before staring at the dust that now covered it. Sitting down on the stool, she lifted the lid and brought her fingers to the keys, giving them the softest touch. Hesitantly, for the first time in nine months, she started to play. Her pain and anger and shear joy spilled out of her fingers, filling the room with the most beautiful knowledge that things might just be alright for Morgana one day. And that was enough for now.