i hate colds. my teeth always hurt. i know it's because i drink a lot of Coke when I'm sick, but dammit, isn't it enough to have a snot-filled head without my teeth trying to get in on the action? jeez
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As a duly ordained minister, I officially rebuke your cold, in the name of the Heavens and the Earth and All That In Them Is. I rebuke your aching tooth, and command the very snot in your nose to depart from your sinus on the instant.
I likewise rebuke your financial destitution, and do beseech that you should be visited with cash, prizes and every profitable endeavour.
Re: I may be naive, but...izamatsuAugust 18 2005, 13:37:15 UTC
Yes, actually, as of 13 August 2005. I'm a legally ordained minister in the Universal Life Church of Modesto, CA. :-)
I registered online purely for the incredible cheese factor of it all. My fiend at work showed it to me... and when I found out they'll even grant you official titles (some quite zany), I had to do it. In about a month I'll have my offical looking certificates granting me the title of Druid to put on my wall. Pure, unadulterated cheese.
Yes, when I file the paperwork (as soon as it gets here) with the clerk of court office, then I can in fact legally marry people in Louisiana. I also become eligible for priest-penitent privelege in court testimony as well.
Druish Princess?oh_really_nowAugust 18 2005, 13:47:55 UTC
I have a couple of LJ friends that received their ordainment online. I mentioned this to Freddy and he thought it was interesting, but one friend moved up North and the other I have only met once. Sooo....thinking of doing any ceremonies when you're legal?
Re: Druish Princess?izamatsuAugust 18 2005, 14:04:06 UTC
I'm not going to advertise, but if anyone I knew asked me to perform some ceremony (marriage, blessing, baptism, funeral or visitation of the sick) I would of course do so. A marriage performed for two people of the same gender still wouldn't be legal because of Louisiana law, but I would go ahead and do that anyway as well. Since I'm pretty broad-minded theologically, I'm reasonably comfortable performing Pagan or more-or-less Christian/Episcopal/Generic ceremonies in that regard.
Re: Druish Princess?tenshuaozoraAugust 19 2005, 12:01:35 UTC
Don't listen to this impostinator! I registered mine with the ULC years ago, before this Johnny-come-lately charlatan!
I, Dr. Rev. Hanshi 10th dan UberJew Soke Silus P. Pliberry can handle all your spirtual needs--births, weddings, funerals, baptisms, colonic worm purgings, handfastings, rites to Yog-Sothoth, ressurections, invocations of creeping doom, astral projections and comedic one-liners for all your ceremonial magic needs!
Seriously, I did register with ULC in like 1998 or something. I got my sign-your-own membership card and promptly lost it. I think it would be cool if you went all the way with it and opened Richard's House Of Chicken, Waffles, Big Ass Biscuits and Instestinal Anthropomancy. I can see the advertising now... "Come for the food, stay for the future!" or "Yardbird and You: We Give You Something to Read You With!" or "Dagda Giveth and Taketh Out!" or even: "Richard's. What Goes In, Won't Come Out."
Re: Druish Princess?tenshuaozoraAugust 22 2005, 12:02:31 UTC
I've been thinking about that. You should... you know your vision of having it in the mirror room from Conan the Destroyer? Well, instead of it being on a floor, the room should completely spherical, with the chair suspended in some kind of gyroscopic fashion. OOH OOH and then you could have some kind of hydraulic lift bring the spigot into the ass, and have this really sonorous voice count down to "insertion." And once it's lodged, the room would go dark and then start to spin... a disco ball would fall down and techno lights/music would come up... something that had "INSERTION" repeated over and over.
And what do I call this fiendish device? The Meganosphere.
Re: Druish Princess?tenshuaozoraAugust 23 2005, 06:49:34 UTC
Oh, one last thing... in addition to "insertion," the song should also have "Shai-hulud!" And midway through it, the music, lights, etc. will stop and then the voice says "THE SLEEPER HAS AWOKEN!" and then the chair spins the other way.
I likewise rebuke your financial destitution, and do beseech that you should be visited with cash, prizes and every profitable endeavour.
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(with the addendum that neither Richard nor I get it. Fuck that shit.)
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I registered online purely for the incredible cheese factor of it all. My fiend at work showed it to me... and when I found out they'll even grant you official titles (some quite zany), I had to do it. In about a month I'll have my offical looking certificates granting me the title of Druid to put on my wall. Pure, unadulterated cheese.
Yes, when I file the paperwork (as soon as it gets here) with the clerk of court office, then I can in fact legally marry people in Louisiana. I also become eligible for priest-penitent privelege in court testimony as well.
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I, Dr. Rev. Hanshi 10th dan UberJew Soke Silus P. Pliberry can handle all your spirtual needs--births, weddings, funerals, baptisms, colonic worm purgings, handfastings, rites to Yog-Sothoth, ressurections, invocations of creeping doom, astral projections and comedic one-liners for all your ceremonial magic needs!
Seriously, I did register with ULC in like 1998 or something. I got my sign-your-own membership card and promptly lost it. I think it would be cool if you went all the way with it and opened Richard's House Of Chicken, Waffles, Big Ass Biscuits and Instestinal Anthropomancy. I can see the advertising now... "Come for the food, stay for the future!" or "Yardbird and You: We Give You Something to Read You With!" or "Dagda Giveth and Taketh Out!" or even: "Richard's. What Goes In, Won't Come Out."
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And once it's lodged, the room would go dark and then start to spin... a disco ball would fall down and techno lights/music would come up... something that had "INSERTION" repeated over and over.
And what do I call this fiendish device? The Meganosphere.
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};-> |m|_ _|m|
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My god, I'm a sick fuck.
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