Misson Impossible: A Faberittana crackfic!
Title: Mission Impossible: A Faberittana crackfic!
Author: Elocineel/tiggerbounced
Rating: G
Length: 2315
Spoilers: None
Summary: Santana has a impossible mission of her own but Quinn helps her out. In the meantime, Brittany and Rachel face a mission of their own...
Author's Note: Hello all, this is just a fluffy Brittana one-shot with a side dash of Faberry fluff (basically all the possible pairings within Faberittana are inside) that I decided to write as my present to Kal for her bday! Now go wish her Happy Birthday everyone! :D
Warning: Pure crack and fluff!
“Look just do me this one favour, please. Send the midget over to Britts and we can go get our shoppings on.”
“Santana, first of all, stop calling her that. Second of all, what exactly are we shopping for that you can’t go shop for it with B? I had plans this afternoon with Rachel.”
“Ay dios mio, I so did not need that mental image in my head Q…”
“S! Not that kind of plans! God.” Quinn interrupted.
“Alright alright. I’m sorry. Shoulda known you would still be a prude. Anyway, you know I don’t beg anyone, for anything. But I really really need my best friend by my side today for what I’m shopping for.”
There was a momentary lull in conversation before Quinn said slowly “If what we’re shopping for is what I think you’re hinting at, then I’ll be there. Definitely. What time?”
“Would now be good?”
“Now?! S, you know Rachel never goes over to someone’s house without an itinerary of what she plans to do there! If I send her over now, she’ll go into a diva freakout!”
“Urgh, ok ok, Britts is playing around with her soft toys, ask Berry to bring her favourite one and I’m sure they can spend the afternoon having tea parties or some sappy shit like that.”
Quinn sighed “Fine, S. I’ll do my best, meet you at the fountain?”
“I’ll be there. And erm, thanks Q.”
“You know it.”
30 minutes later at the mall
“Jesus what took you so damn long Q?”
“Calm down S, Rachel couldn’t decide which one of her many stuffed toys she wanted to bring over. As it is, this is already considered quick.”
Santana huffed “Alright alright. I’m just really frazzled about this I guess.”
“Santana Lopez? Frazzled? Man I thought I’d never see the day.” Quinn smirked, linking her arm with her best friend’s “Come on, let’s go get that piece of bling for B.”
Meanwhile at Brittany’s House
“Hey Rachel!”
“Hey Brittany, I do apologise that I was not able to bring all of my favourite stuffed toys which includes my Barbra doll but Quinn assured me that my Tigger would be more appropriate. Quinn also lent me her Mr. Lambchop. She said something about how it would be more balanced then. I don’t quite understand what she means though.”
Brittany stared at Rachel with wide eyes for a few moments before cocking her head to one side and smiling widely “Oh I get it. Come on, let’s go to my room and I can show you what Q meant!”
Brittany bounded up the steps to her bedroom, leaving Rachel following more daintily behind. As Rachel entered the bedroom, two things were thrust into her face. Well, to be more accurate, it was two furry objects.
“Rachel! Say hi to Mr. Quackers and Eeyore! Mr. Quackers belongs to me but the Eeyore is Santana’s. That’s what Q meant when she said your Tigger and her Mr. Lambchop make everything balance just like our Cheerios’ pyramid.”
“Oh I see what she means now,” Rachel replied, nodding her head. “Brittany, Mr. Quackers is adorable and I can certainly see him belonging to you especially with your affection for ducks of all sorts but does Eeyore really belong to Santana? I cannot imagine her owning one.”
Brittany patted the side of the bed, inviting Rachel to sit down with her and get comfortable. “Rach, come sit down and let me explain it to you. Hopefully it’ll make sense. But you can’t tell San I told you ok? I don’t know if she is ok with you knowing, I mean, she always told me that no one can know. But Q knows and San is ok with that and since you’re dating Q, you should be able to know too right?”
Rachel stared at Brittany before slowly saying “Yeeeaaaah, I guess so. Either way Brittany, you’re the one that told me and Santana seems to be unable to get mad at you, therefore we should both be safe.”
Brittany clapped her hands together and sighed dreamily “Yeah you’re right, San really can’t get mad at me, alright now you know all about Eeyore as a character right?”
Rachel looked at Brittany “Erm, Brittany, I brought Tigger over remember? I did actually enjoy the Winnie The Pooh series when I was younger and I loved all the characters. I even did an in-depth characterization of each character for my 5th grade project.”
Brittany nodded “Ok I think I remember that. You brought the stuffed toys in too didn’t you and you had a Powerpoint too I think! Yes, I do remember that, you were so cute that day, like a squirrel on coffee being all excited about what you were presenting!”
Brittany looked to Rachel and recognizing the signs of an impending diva rant, quickly moved forwards into her spiel on why Eeyore was a perfect match for Santana
“Ok, so you know the characters for sure, now Eeyore is a bit gloomy and sad all the time right? So I know it doesn’t seem like it, especially in school but Santana can be really gloomy and sad. Her parents aren’t really around much and she’s all by herself sometimes. No one really paid attention to her; it’s why she likes being popular in school, because then people pay attention to her. And get this; believe it or not, Santana is an introvert. She internalizes a lot. All the bad feelings she keeps inside and she just keeps thinking about them over and over again. Santana thinks a lot. I tell her it’s not good for her but she says her thinking helps her come up with plans to help her stay on top and keep me safe. For someone that doesn’t seem to embrace love, she really loves a lot; she helps me look after all my animals! Just like Eeyore, remember that one time he managed to grow a plant that Rabbit didn’t? Just by showing it a little love!”
Rachel just sat there, stunned as Brittany finished her explanation and looked at her expectantly. Holding up her hand, she said hesitantly “Wait a minute, so, you’re telling me that the big bad Santana “Lima Heights Adjacent” Lopez is actually a big softy who hides behind this hard shell to protect herself and you?”
Brittany nodded furiously “Yup!”
Rachel then continued “And Brittany, no offense, but since when do you know what an introvert is and not to mention words like internalize?”
Brittany laughed and said “Oh, Santana said that one way I could help her in her plans was to not show everyone how smart I am. I mean, I’m not grades smart but I’m people smart. I understand people and why they do what they do.”
Rachel stared at Brittany with wide eyes for a while before physically shaking herself “Oooookkkk. Well, that’s going to take me a while to get used to but I’ll do my best. So, now that we’ve got the introductions of our various stuffed toys out of the way, what do you want to do?”
Brittany thought for awhile before clapping her hands excitedly “Ooh, can we use our imagination? Go to Imagination Land and act out stuff with our stuffed toys? I’ll be Mr. Quackers and Eeyore, you can be Tigger and Mr. Lambchop!”
Rachel giggled at Brittany’s enthusiasm “Alright then, off to Imagination Land we go!”
At the Mall
“Come on Santana, make up your mind. We’ve been here for almost an hour.”
“Urgh, step off Q, I can’t rush this, it’s a really big thing you know. And besides, we normally spend hours at the mall, what’s the difference this time?”
Quinn huffed “The difference is that at least we spend hours going round the entire mall, into all the different shops. We’ve been at the same shop, looking at the same display for an hour!”
She looked closely at Santana as she finished her mini-tirade before softening “S, what’s really taking you so long to choose?”
Santana looked down at the display case before looking back at Quinn “I’m really scared. What if I choose wrongly and B doesn’t like it? What if she doesn’t like it and thinks that I don’t know her at all because I chose wrongly and then she rejects me? What if…”
Quinn held up a hand to stop her “Ok, S, I’m going to stop you right there. B loves you. Like she LOVES you. That’s clear to everyone, apparently everyone except you. There’s no way she’s going to say no. And as long as it comes from you, she’ll love it. “
Santana stared at Quinn for a while before redirecting her gaze back to the display case. After a short while, she let out a long breath and said “Ok how about this one? I like it, the colour of the stone reminds me of Britt’s eyes and slight wavy pattern the ring has reminds me of B when she dances; when she’s all fluid and stuff.”
Quinn looked at the ring before signaling the jeweler over “I think we finally found what we’re looking for Sir.”
The jeweler smiles “Well then, I just need to know the ring size you require and we can wrap this up!”
Back in Brittany’s bedroom
“Mr. Lambchop and Mr. Quackers are in trouble! Come Eeyore, we have to save them!” cried Rachel, making Tigger bounce around Eeyore.
“Oh dear, that is a problem. Well, let’s be on our way Tigger.” Brittany made Eeyore get up and start plodding over to where Mr. Quackers and Mr. Lambchop were situated, hanging over the edge of the bed.
Rachel made Tigger bounce quickly towards the two precariously placed toys; she got halfway across the bed before stopping suddenly. “Oh no, a big chasm of lava just opened up. What are we going to do? How are we going to get across?”
Brittany made Eeyore peer across the middle of the bed “Well, the journey is over for me. You can go on and save them Tigger; you should be able to jump across that chasm, yes quite possibly.”
Gasping, Rachel made Tigger turn to Eeyore “No way, I’m not going without you, we’re partners now Eeyore! I have an idea, do you trust me?”
Eeyore looked at Tigger for a long time before finally saying “Well I probably will regret this but to save Mr. Quackers I have no choice. Do what you will Tigger.”
Eeyore then clambered onto Tigger’s back “Here goes the Whoopty-Dooper Loopty-Looper Ally-Ooper Bounce!”
“AND TIGGER AND EEYORE SAFELY CROSSED THE CHASM! They rush towards their beloved Mr. Quackers and Mr. Lambchop, rescuing them from the edge!”
By this time, Brittany and Rachel were both so absorbed in their “Imagination Land” that they had failed to realize that both Santana and Quinn were now part of their audience as well.
They were only jolted out of it by the sound of light applause coming from the doorway.
“San!” Brittany was the first to recover and she bounded over to Santana, grabbing her in a bone-crushing hug. “I’m so glad you’re back! I missed you.”
Santana looked adoringly at her “I missed you too B. But I see you had fun with Rachel, Eeyore rescued Mr. Quackers huh.”
Brittany nodded excitedly “Of course he did, just like you always rescue me.”
They were interrupted by a loud “awwww” coming from Quinn who by now had her arms wrapped around Rachel who was snuggling into her shoulder.
Santana glared “Shut it Q. As far as I could tell, Mr. Lambchop was the one in distress just now and Tigger had to rescue it.”
Quinn glared back just as fiercely “Well, I seem to recall Eeyore needing Tigger’s help to rescue Mr. Quackers as well. How about that?”
Brittany locked eyes with Rachel and they both sighed exasperatedly “Stop the violence!”
Both Quinn and Santana immediately stopped their staring match and turned to their girls, apologizing. Brittany and Rachel accepted their apologies, sneakily exchanging knowing smirks.
“Alright Rach, I hope you had fun and I’m sorry for abandoning you here so last minute, but I think we better get back to your house and give S and B their privacy.” Quinn finally said.
Santana tilted her head in acknowledgement of Quinn’s gesture “Yeah, see you around Q. And Rachel, in light of how Tigger helped Eeyore to save Mr. Quackers, thanks, I guess.”
Rachel looked absolutely delighted at Santana’s roundabout way of being nice and she grabbed Santana into a hug before she could protest.
Santana looked mildly scandalized before she acquiesced to the “midget attack” as she called it “Alright alright, Q, call your midget off me already. I needs to take a shower if this goes on any longer.”
Laughing, Quinn and Rachel said their goodbyes and left Brittany’s house.
3 hours later
Quinn and Rachel were cuddling together on Rachel’s bed “So you really had fun playing with Brittany? Even though you went over without an itinerary?”
“Yeah, we had fun, I like playing with Brittany, kind of makes up for all the times in my childhood where I didn’t have siblings to play such games with! We even pretended to be spies like in Mission Impossible!”
Hearing a beeping tone from her phone, Quinn placed a kiss on Rachel’s temple before reaching over to the nightstand to check it.
“That’s great that you have a new playmate Rach…and speaking of Mission Impossible, check this out!”
*Mr. Lambchop and Tigger, you have been chosen to play the parts of our best man and best woman. Your mission, should you choose to accept it, will be to stand up beside us on our wedding day and make sure it goes smoothly. We look forward to your reply. ~Eeyore and Mr. Quackers*
Author: Elocineel/tiggerbounced
Rating: G
Length: 2315
Spoilers: None
Summary: Santana has a impossible mission of her own but Quinn helps her out. In the meantime, Brittany and Rachel face a mission of their own...
Author's Note: Hello all, this is just a fluffy Brittana one-shot with a side dash of Faberry fluff (basically all the possible pairings within Faberittana are inside) that I decided to write as my present to Kal for her bday! Now go wish her Happy Birthday everyone! :D
Warning: Pure crack and fluff!
“Look just do me this one favour, please. Send the midget over to Britts and we can go get our shoppings on.”
“Santana, first of all, stop calling her that. Second of all, what exactly are we shopping for that you can’t go shop for it with B? I had plans this afternoon with Rachel.”
“Ay dios mio, I so did not need that mental image in my head Q…”
“S! Not that kind of plans! God.” Quinn interrupted.
“Alright alright. I’m sorry. Shoulda known you would still be a prude. Anyway, you know I don’t beg anyone, for anything. But I really really need my best friend by my side today for what I’m shopping for.”
There was a momentary lull in conversation before Quinn said slowly “If what we’re shopping for is what I think you’re hinting at, then I’ll be there. Definitely. What time?”
“Would now be good?”
“Now?! S, you know Rachel never goes over to someone’s house without an itinerary of what she plans to do there! If I send her over now, she’ll go into a diva freakout!”
“Urgh, ok ok, Britts is playing around with her soft toys, ask Berry to bring her favourite one and I’m sure they can spend the afternoon having tea parties or some sappy shit like that.”
Quinn sighed “Fine, S. I’ll do my best, meet you at the fountain?”
“I’ll be there. And erm, thanks Q.”
“You know it.”
30 minutes later at the mall
“Jesus what took you so damn long Q?”
“Calm down S, Rachel couldn’t decide which one of her many stuffed toys she wanted to bring over. As it is, this is already considered quick.”
Santana huffed “Alright alright. I’m just really frazzled about this I guess.”
“Santana Lopez? Frazzled? Man I thought I’d never see the day.” Quinn smirked, linking her arm with her best friend’s “Come on, let’s go get that piece of bling for B.”
Meanwhile at Brittany’s House
“Hey Rachel!”
“Hey Brittany, I do apologise that I was not able to bring all of my favourite stuffed toys which includes my Barbra doll but Quinn assured me that my Tigger would be more appropriate. Quinn also lent me her Mr. Lambchop. She said something about how it would be more balanced then. I don’t quite understand what she means though.”
Brittany stared at Rachel with wide eyes for a few moments before cocking her head to one side and smiling widely “Oh I get it. Come on, let’s go to my room and I can show you what Q meant!”
Brittany bounded up the steps to her bedroom, leaving Rachel following more daintily behind. As Rachel entered the bedroom, two things were thrust into her face. Well, to be more accurate, it was two furry objects.
“Rachel! Say hi to Mr. Quackers and Eeyore! Mr. Quackers belongs to me but the Eeyore is Santana’s. That’s what Q meant when she said your Tigger and her Mr. Lambchop make everything balance just like our Cheerios’ pyramid.”
“Oh I see what she means now,” Rachel replied, nodding her head. “Brittany, Mr. Quackers is adorable and I can certainly see him belonging to you especially with your affection for ducks of all sorts but does Eeyore really belong to Santana? I cannot imagine her owning one.”
Brittany patted the side of the bed, inviting Rachel to sit down with her and get comfortable. “Rach, come sit down and let me explain it to you. Hopefully it’ll make sense. But you can’t tell San I told you ok? I don’t know if she is ok with you knowing, I mean, she always told me that no one can know. But Q knows and San is ok with that and since you’re dating Q, you should be able to know too right?”
Rachel stared at Brittany before slowly saying “Yeeeaaaah, I guess so. Either way Brittany, you’re the one that told me and Santana seems to be unable to get mad at you, therefore we should both be safe.”
Brittany clapped her hands together and sighed dreamily “Yeah you’re right, San really can’t get mad at me, alright now you know all about Eeyore as a character right?”
Rachel looked at Brittany “Erm, Brittany, I brought Tigger over remember? I did actually enjoy the Winnie The Pooh series when I was younger and I loved all the characters. I even did an in-depth characterization of each character for my 5th grade project.”
Brittany nodded “Ok I think I remember that. You brought the stuffed toys in too didn’t you and you had a Powerpoint too I think! Yes, I do remember that, you were so cute that day, like a squirrel on coffee being all excited about what you were presenting!”
Brittany looked to Rachel and recognizing the signs of an impending diva rant, quickly moved forwards into her spiel on why Eeyore was a perfect match for Santana
“Ok, so you know the characters for sure, now Eeyore is a bit gloomy and sad all the time right? So I know it doesn’t seem like it, especially in school but Santana can be really gloomy and sad. Her parents aren’t really around much and she’s all by herself sometimes. No one really paid attention to her; it’s why she likes being popular in school, because then people pay attention to her. And get this; believe it or not, Santana is an introvert. She internalizes a lot. All the bad feelings she keeps inside and she just keeps thinking about them over and over again. Santana thinks a lot. I tell her it’s not good for her but she says her thinking helps her come up with plans to help her stay on top and keep me safe. For someone that doesn’t seem to embrace love, she really loves a lot; she helps me look after all my animals! Just like Eeyore, remember that one time he managed to grow a plant that Rabbit didn’t? Just by showing it a little love!”
Rachel just sat there, stunned as Brittany finished her explanation and looked at her expectantly. Holding up her hand, she said hesitantly “Wait a minute, so, you’re telling me that the big bad Santana “Lima Heights Adjacent” Lopez is actually a big softy who hides behind this hard shell to protect herself and you?”
Brittany nodded furiously “Yup!”
Rachel then continued “And Brittany, no offense, but since when do you know what an introvert is and not to mention words like internalize?”
Brittany laughed and said “Oh, Santana said that one way I could help her in her plans was to not show everyone how smart I am. I mean, I’m not grades smart but I’m people smart. I understand people and why they do what they do.”
Rachel stared at Brittany with wide eyes for a while before physically shaking herself “Oooookkkk. Well, that’s going to take me a while to get used to but I’ll do my best. So, now that we’ve got the introductions of our various stuffed toys out of the way, what do you want to do?”
Brittany thought for awhile before clapping her hands excitedly “Ooh, can we use our imagination? Go to Imagination Land and act out stuff with our stuffed toys? I’ll be Mr. Quackers and Eeyore, you can be Tigger and Mr. Lambchop!”
Rachel giggled at Brittany’s enthusiasm “Alright then, off to Imagination Land we go!”
At the Mall
“Come on Santana, make up your mind. We’ve been here for almost an hour.”
“Urgh, step off Q, I can’t rush this, it’s a really big thing you know. And besides, we normally spend hours at the mall, what’s the difference this time?”
Quinn huffed “The difference is that at least we spend hours going round the entire mall, into all the different shops. We’ve been at the same shop, looking at the same display for an hour!”
She looked closely at Santana as she finished her mini-tirade before softening “S, what’s really taking you so long to choose?”
Santana looked down at the display case before looking back at Quinn “I’m really scared. What if I choose wrongly and B doesn’t like it? What if she doesn’t like it and thinks that I don’t know her at all because I chose wrongly and then she rejects me? What if…”
Quinn held up a hand to stop her “Ok, S, I’m going to stop you right there. B loves you. Like she LOVES you. That’s clear to everyone, apparently everyone except you. There’s no way she’s going to say no. And as long as it comes from you, she’ll love it. “
Santana stared at Quinn for a while before redirecting her gaze back to the display case. After a short while, she let out a long breath and said “Ok how about this one? I like it, the colour of the stone reminds me of Britt’s eyes and slight wavy pattern the ring has reminds me of B when she dances; when she’s all fluid and stuff.”
Quinn looked at the ring before signaling the jeweler over “I think we finally found what we’re looking for Sir.”
The jeweler smiles “Well then, I just need to know the ring size you require and we can wrap this up!”
Back in Brittany’s bedroom
“Mr. Lambchop and Mr. Quackers are in trouble! Come Eeyore, we have to save them!” cried Rachel, making Tigger bounce around Eeyore.
“Oh dear, that is a problem. Well, let’s be on our way Tigger.” Brittany made Eeyore get up and start plodding over to where Mr. Quackers and Mr. Lambchop were situated, hanging over the edge of the bed.
Rachel made Tigger bounce quickly towards the two precariously placed toys; she got halfway across the bed before stopping suddenly. “Oh no, a big chasm of lava just opened up. What are we going to do? How are we going to get across?”
Brittany made Eeyore peer across the middle of the bed “Well, the journey is over for me. You can go on and save them Tigger; you should be able to jump across that chasm, yes quite possibly.”
Gasping, Rachel made Tigger turn to Eeyore “No way, I’m not going without you, we’re partners now Eeyore! I have an idea, do you trust me?”
Eeyore looked at Tigger for a long time before finally saying “Well I probably will regret this but to save Mr. Quackers I have no choice. Do what you will Tigger.”
Eeyore then clambered onto Tigger’s back “Here goes the Whoopty-Dooper Loopty-Looper Ally-Ooper Bounce!”
“AND TIGGER AND EEYORE SAFELY CROSSED THE CHASM! They rush towards their beloved Mr. Quackers and Mr. Lambchop, rescuing them from the edge!”
By this time, Brittany and Rachel were both so absorbed in their “Imagination Land” that they had failed to realize that both Santana and Quinn were now part of their audience as well.
They were only jolted out of it by the sound of light applause coming from the doorway.
“San!” Brittany was the first to recover and she bounded over to Santana, grabbing her in a bone-crushing hug. “I’m so glad you’re back! I missed you.”
Santana looked adoringly at her “I missed you too B. But I see you had fun with Rachel, Eeyore rescued Mr. Quackers huh.”
Brittany nodded excitedly “Of course he did, just like you always rescue me.”
They were interrupted by a loud “awwww” coming from Quinn who by now had her arms wrapped around Rachel who was snuggling into her shoulder.
Santana glared “Shut it Q. As far as I could tell, Mr. Lambchop was the one in distress just now and Tigger had to rescue it.”
Quinn glared back just as fiercely “Well, I seem to recall Eeyore needing Tigger’s help to rescue Mr. Quackers as well. How about that?”
Brittany locked eyes with Rachel and they both sighed exasperatedly “Stop the violence!”
Both Quinn and Santana immediately stopped their staring match and turned to their girls, apologizing. Brittany and Rachel accepted their apologies, sneakily exchanging knowing smirks.
“Alright Rach, I hope you had fun and I’m sorry for abandoning you here so last minute, but I think we better get back to your house and give S and B their privacy.” Quinn finally said.
Santana tilted her head in acknowledgement of Quinn’s gesture “Yeah, see you around Q. And Rachel, in light of how Tigger helped Eeyore to save Mr. Quackers, thanks, I guess.”
Rachel looked absolutely delighted at Santana’s roundabout way of being nice and she grabbed Santana into a hug before she could protest.
Santana looked mildly scandalized before she acquiesced to the “midget attack” as she called it “Alright alright, Q, call your midget off me already. I needs to take a shower if this goes on any longer.”
Laughing, Quinn and Rachel said their goodbyes and left Brittany’s house.
3 hours later
Quinn and Rachel were cuddling together on Rachel’s bed “So you really had fun playing with Brittany? Even though you went over without an itinerary?”
“Yeah, we had fun, I like playing with Brittany, kind of makes up for all the times in my childhood where I didn’t have siblings to play such games with! We even pretended to be spies like in Mission Impossible!”
Hearing a beeping tone from her phone, Quinn placed a kiss on Rachel’s temple before reaching over to the nightstand to check it.
“That’s great that you have a new playmate Rach…and speaking of Mission Impossible, check this out!”
*Mr. Lambchop and Tigger, you have been chosen to play the parts of our best man and best woman. Your mission, should you choose to accept it, will be to stand up beside us on our wedding day and make sure it goes smoothly. We look forward to your reply. ~Eeyore and Mr. Quackers*