(no subject)
damn.. sounds like john was being a dick..read this
John,
I have to tell you that I was highly disappointed and insulted at the way you treated me at the "meet and greet" session tonight at MSG in NYC. I was the person who won your charity auction and paid an enourmous amount of money for what I thought was going to be a night to remember. You know who I am. All I have wished for, for 2 years, was to finally meet the person whose music has inspired my life so much. I am one of your biggest fans and I sincerely thought that paying $2210.00 was actually worth meeting you. I figured I could justify the expense since it was for charity. Last November I also won the Wallingford, CT charity auction, where I paid around $500.00 just for front row seats. Of all your fans, I think I can make the assumption that I am one of the only people that has laid out this much money for your "causes" whatever they might be. (By the way, what are they?... the fact that you are non-specific about it makes it seem shady, don't you think? I hope I wasn't just putting money towards a new Mac G5 for you or towards your next months rent.)
Anyway, I was the first one who approached you in the meet and greet session where you were obviously moody to begin with. (John, didn't you mention that you hated moody people in your Rolling Stone interview? We tend to hate in others, what we subconsciously dislike about ourselves - maybe you should ponder that one.) I shook your hand, introduced myself and told you I was the one who had won the auction. You sort of snickered and then asked how much I paid. I told you $2210.00 and you responded with, and I quote, "They pay me more than that to take a shit." At the moment it didn't sink in that you had just totally offended me, so I took a picture with you and you signed my CD - (big f-ing deal.) Then you noticed the perfume I was wearing and asked me about it. Again, you insulted me by telling me that it reminded you of some girl you hated, I don't remember the exact comment, but it was rude. Did I need to know that? Great, score one more for me.
Don't you think you could have been more appropriate in a situation like that? $2210.00 might be peanuts to you, but to the rest of us it's a lot of money. You could have had the decency to treat me with a modicum of respect. I am not one of those teeny-bopper, belly-flashing, glitter-wearing fans... I am a 27 year old woman who deserves to be spoken to with respect. John, come on now... you are old enough to know how to treat a lady, I know you know better. Granted, you may have had good reason to be moody, I don't know... Nevertheless, you are a professional musician, this is your job... even if you have to fake being nice, it's the diplomatic thing to do. It's like that in any profession.
I never thought I would be writing an angry message to you, I never dreamed I'd have to. But this evening was total bullsh-t and you know it. I am really pissed off. You should not have taken out your bad mood on me.... especially me.
It really made the rest of my night much less enjoyable. As a result, I won't be "donating" any more of my money to you or your charities. I wish I could get the money back, but I'm sure that's not possible, so I won't even bother pursuing it.
I hope you read this, and rather than being like, "f-ck her" you actually think about it and don't treat any of your other fans like this in the future. I don't know what crawled up your butt tonight but you should have been thrilled and honored to be playing MSG for the first time. Instead you acted like a spoiled, cocky, brat. And John, it's not confidence that you exude, it's cockiness. Yes, some of us are intelligent enough to tell the difference.
You should also know, not only did I pay all that money... but I also flew out all the way from Arizona to see you play at MSG. I was coming home to see my family in NY this week anyway, but I came out 4 days earlier just for this show. (My fifth time seeing you live.) You really do owe me an apology, but I'm not holding my breath on that one. Just don't do this to someone else, it's not right and you wouldn't want it to be done to you. Remember, not too long ago you were a nobody too, just like the rest of us.
By the way, when I gave you my business card... what was written on the back of it was absolutely genuine. I meant it because I can just imagine the kind of stress you must be under and all the fake people you probably have to deal with. I wrote that with true sincerity and compassion. I'm as real as they come. Now I regret it.
You need to remember this... your fame, and your position comes with a lot of responsibilty, it's unavoidable. Believe it or not, you actually do have an influence on many many people. Everything you do makes a statement about who you are. The reason why I grabbed onto your music in the first place was because of the messages you were sending in your lyrics. They seemed heartfelt and genuine, it was like you could relate to everyone. There isn't enough of that in this country these days. Don't just sing the message, BE the message. I'm sure deep inside you are a good person struggling with issues just like the rest of us... but let this be a little reminder why you are where you are and don't take it for granted.
I had to get this out to make myself feel better, I refuse to let anybody treat me like crap and not say something. I know it's harsh, but it's the truth. Maybe you'll happen to come across this, maybe you won't. But I have a feeling it will find you eventually.
Johns Reply:
Dear auction winner in NYC -
I woke up this morning with a smile on my face that I must have had since this time yesterday. I just checked my e-mail to get a link to a message board post about last night's meet and great.
In AOL voice... "Smile's done!!"
Normally I would have just let what I read slide off me, but for some reason I feel pretty adamant about setting the record straight.
What you absolutely have to understand about a meet and greet is what it's like to walk into a room with 20 people waiting to meet you (in front of 19 other people each time) with varying levels of expectation. Some people are happy with an autograph and a picture, some people get off on a handshake and a "thank you", and then other people leave me with a feeling that nothing could be enough. I'm not sure what you expected from me, but when we said goodbye and you looked at me the way you did, I knew that the meeting wasn't going anywhere near the way you planned.
I was in a mood last night. I was in the kind of mood you'd be in if you had the chance to play Madison Square Garden. Ecstatic. Playful. You were the first person I met in the room, and the room was watching us like hawks, which I know can be nerve-wracking. You told me you spent a boat load on the tickets and passes by way of my auction. I asked you how much a boatload was, and when you answered I remarked "I make ______ just by taking a dump!" People laughed, and I thought I would instantly diffuse the effect of what I had just said by letting you know that I was just messing around and that I was going to use that line no matter how much money you said. It was funny. People laughed. And it was obvious that I was joking.
Then I put my arm around you and mentioned your perfume. "Is that Hypnot-"
"Yes! It's Hypnotic Poison!"
I think at that point I told you it reminded me of someone to which you said "hopefully not somoene you hate" and I said "no, just someone who's full of crap".
Again, laughs.
You had somene take another picture with me at the end of my meeting everyone. And you gave me that look right before you walked out of the room that nothing had come close to being good enough. If eyes could climb rocks, yours were holding on like they were about to fall to their death.
The fact that the meet and greet might not have gone the way you expected it doesn't throw me off. The nature of a meet and greet is both incredibly intimate and incredibly exhibitionist. What baffles me is that you got everything you could have gotten (on paper) last night. Certainly everything I could have given you. (I never read the card you slipped into my pocket.) But somehow you found it in yourself to sit down in front of your computer, pour a drink, crack your knuckles and then bang out one of the most articulate and impassioned personal recounts of something that never really quite happened.
Why am I writing this? Because I'm going to defend myself. Not just against what mood you thought I was in, but defend myself against an expectation that is so undefined even by the beholder, that anything I do feels so unfulfilling that the only thing left to do is to stage a personal boycott. That's tantamount to a 7 year old boy who doesn't get the attention he wants resorting to pulling girls' hair.
I am thrilled that you gave as much as you did to the Back to You fund. I am sorry that I made a comment that offended you. I'm sorry I couldn't have given you what would have made you left that room and then that arena saying "that was one of the best nights I can remember in a long time".
Ask yourself this : Do you know what that would have been?
I love my fans. That goes without saying. I want to have fun. I will continue to take it upon myself to be the ice breaker in situations that are uncomfortable for people. Like, say, a line of people in a brightly lit back room somewhere each trying to explain to me in their own way what my music means without feeling like they're sand at the beach. I hope I can keep doing that without offending people, but you've got to meet me in the middle.
Sincerely,
John
wow.. this all happened on the message board this morning.. jaja
John,
I have to tell you that I was highly disappointed and insulted at the way you treated me at the "meet and greet" session tonight at MSG in NYC. I was the person who won your charity auction and paid an enourmous amount of money for what I thought was going to be a night to remember. You know who I am. All I have wished for, for 2 years, was to finally meet the person whose music has inspired my life so much. I am one of your biggest fans and I sincerely thought that paying $2210.00 was actually worth meeting you. I figured I could justify the expense since it was for charity. Last November I also won the Wallingford, CT charity auction, where I paid around $500.00 just for front row seats. Of all your fans, I think I can make the assumption that I am one of the only people that has laid out this much money for your "causes" whatever they might be. (By the way, what are they?... the fact that you are non-specific about it makes it seem shady, don't you think? I hope I wasn't just putting money towards a new Mac G5 for you or towards your next months rent.)
Anyway, I was the first one who approached you in the meet and greet session where you were obviously moody to begin with. (John, didn't you mention that you hated moody people in your Rolling Stone interview? We tend to hate in others, what we subconsciously dislike about ourselves - maybe you should ponder that one.) I shook your hand, introduced myself and told you I was the one who had won the auction. You sort of snickered and then asked how much I paid. I told you $2210.00 and you responded with, and I quote, "They pay me more than that to take a shit." At the moment it didn't sink in that you had just totally offended me, so I took a picture with you and you signed my CD - (big f-ing deal.) Then you noticed the perfume I was wearing and asked me about it. Again, you insulted me by telling me that it reminded you of some girl you hated, I don't remember the exact comment, but it was rude. Did I need to know that? Great, score one more for me.
Don't you think you could have been more appropriate in a situation like that? $2210.00 might be peanuts to you, but to the rest of us it's a lot of money. You could have had the decency to treat me with a modicum of respect. I am not one of those teeny-bopper, belly-flashing, glitter-wearing fans... I am a 27 year old woman who deserves to be spoken to with respect. John, come on now... you are old enough to know how to treat a lady, I know you know better. Granted, you may have had good reason to be moody, I don't know... Nevertheless, you are a professional musician, this is your job... even if you have to fake being nice, it's the diplomatic thing to do. It's like that in any profession.
I never thought I would be writing an angry message to you, I never dreamed I'd have to. But this evening was total bullsh-t and you know it. I am really pissed off. You should not have taken out your bad mood on me.... especially me.
It really made the rest of my night much less enjoyable. As a result, I won't be "donating" any more of my money to you or your charities. I wish I could get the money back, but I'm sure that's not possible, so I won't even bother pursuing it.
I hope you read this, and rather than being like, "f-ck her" you actually think about it and don't treat any of your other fans like this in the future. I don't know what crawled up your butt tonight but you should have been thrilled and honored to be playing MSG for the first time. Instead you acted like a spoiled, cocky, brat. And John, it's not confidence that you exude, it's cockiness. Yes, some of us are intelligent enough to tell the difference.
You should also know, not only did I pay all that money... but I also flew out all the way from Arizona to see you play at MSG. I was coming home to see my family in NY this week anyway, but I came out 4 days earlier just for this show. (My fifth time seeing you live.) You really do owe me an apology, but I'm not holding my breath on that one. Just don't do this to someone else, it's not right and you wouldn't want it to be done to you. Remember, not too long ago you were a nobody too, just like the rest of us.
By the way, when I gave you my business card... what was written on the back of it was absolutely genuine. I meant it because I can just imagine the kind of stress you must be under and all the fake people you probably have to deal with. I wrote that with true sincerity and compassion. I'm as real as they come. Now I regret it.
You need to remember this... your fame, and your position comes with a lot of responsibilty, it's unavoidable. Believe it or not, you actually do have an influence on many many people. Everything you do makes a statement about who you are. The reason why I grabbed onto your music in the first place was because of the messages you were sending in your lyrics. They seemed heartfelt and genuine, it was like you could relate to everyone. There isn't enough of that in this country these days. Don't just sing the message, BE the message. I'm sure deep inside you are a good person struggling with issues just like the rest of us... but let this be a little reminder why you are where you are and don't take it for granted.
I had to get this out to make myself feel better, I refuse to let anybody treat me like crap and not say something. I know it's harsh, but it's the truth. Maybe you'll happen to come across this, maybe you won't. But I have a feeling it will find you eventually.
Johns Reply:
Dear auction winner in NYC -
I woke up this morning with a smile on my face that I must have had since this time yesterday. I just checked my e-mail to get a link to a message board post about last night's meet and great.
In AOL voice... "Smile's done!!"
Normally I would have just let what I read slide off me, but for some reason I feel pretty adamant about setting the record straight.
What you absolutely have to understand about a meet and greet is what it's like to walk into a room with 20 people waiting to meet you (in front of 19 other people each time) with varying levels of expectation. Some people are happy with an autograph and a picture, some people get off on a handshake and a "thank you", and then other people leave me with a feeling that nothing could be enough. I'm not sure what you expected from me, but when we said goodbye and you looked at me the way you did, I knew that the meeting wasn't going anywhere near the way you planned.
I was in a mood last night. I was in the kind of mood you'd be in if you had the chance to play Madison Square Garden. Ecstatic. Playful. You were the first person I met in the room, and the room was watching us like hawks, which I know can be nerve-wracking. You told me you spent a boat load on the tickets and passes by way of my auction. I asked you how much a boatload was, and when you answered I remarked "I make ______ just by taking a dump!" People laughed, and I thought I would instantly diffuse the effect of what I had just said by letting you know that I was just messing around and that I was going to use that line no matter how much money you said. It was funny. People laughed. And it was obvious that I was joking.
Then I put my arm around you and mentioned your perfume. "Is that Hypnot-"
"Yes! It's Hypnotic Poison!"
I think at that point I told you it reminded me of someone to which you said "hopefully not somoene you hate" and I said "no, just someone who's full of crap".
Again, laughs.
You had somene take another picture with me at the end of my meeting everyone. And you gave me that look right before you walked out of the room that nothing had come close to being good enough. If eyes could climb rocks, yours were holding on like they were about to fall to their death.
The fact that the meet and greet might not have gone the way you expected it doesn't throw me off. The nature of a meet and greet is both incredibly intimate and incredibly exhibitionist. What baffles me is that you got everything you could have gotten (on paper) last night. Certainly everything I could have given you. (I never read the card you slipped into my pocket.) But somehow you found it in yourself to sit down in front of your computer, pour a drink, crack your knuckles and then bang out one of the most articulate and impassioned personal recounts of something that never really quite happened.
Why am I writing this? Because I'm going to defend myself. Not just against what mood you thought I was in, but defend myself against an expectation that is so undefined even by the beholder, that anything I do feels so unfulfilling that the only thing left to do is to stage a personal boycott. That's tantamount to a 7 year old boy who doesn't get the attention he wants resorting to pulling girls' hair.
I am thrilled that you gave as much as you did to the Back to You fund. I am sorry that I made a comment that offended you. I'm sorry I couldn't have given you what would have made you left that room and then that arena saying "that was one of the best nights I can remember in a long time".
Ask yourself this : Do you know what that would have been?
I love my fans. That goes without saying. I want to have fun. I will continue to take it upon myself to be the ice breaker in situations that are uncomfortable for people. Like, say, a line of people in a brightly lit back room somewhere each trying to explain to me in their own way what my music means without feeling like they're sand at the beach. I hope I can keep doing that without offending people, but you've got to meet me in the middle.
Sincerely,
John
wow.. this all happened on the message board this morning.. jaja