Day Off...Can't get started...thoughts about you...
I trying very hard to get started with my projects today. I have a list of them. But my compulsive thoughts, about you and how this whole thing got started and how I don't want it to end, keep recurring in my head. I wake up thinking of you, and then all day till I go to sleep. It's exhausting. So today I thought if I wrote them down in my journal, I could move on to actually finishing something on my list that I need to accomplish.
When we spoke last you mentioned that this wasn't planned and It wasn't supposed to happen. That may be true. But, we both did make it happen and I don't feel that was a mistake. Sure there are other aspects of our friendship that we haven't explored yet. And given your circumstance, we shouldn't have proceeded in the direction that we had taken. But there is so much more to us that deserves the doors left open. I need you and have a deep true love for you. Nobody else fills your shoes.
I dream of a day when we can be close. And be still with desire, but not to act on it so quick. A solace of sorts, balancing between sound and silence. Like taking a walk with no destination...To go fishing and enjoy the day without catching fish... noticing a tiny flower floating on the surface of a lake that nobody would take notice of, then glazing at it like a child in awe. Never to forget...just to be happy with the simplicity of things.
I and wish you well this summer in all of your endeavors. But I'm selfish in hope that someway we can find the way to explore these other avenues.
When we spoke last you mentioned that this wasn't planned and It wasn't supposed to happen. That may be true. But, we both did make it happen and I don't feel that was a mistake. Sure there are other aspects of our friendship that we haven't explored yet. And given your circumstance, we shouldn't have proceeded in the direction that we had taken. But there is so much more to us that deserves the doors left open. I need you and have a deep true love for you. Nobody else fills your shoes.
I dream of a day when we can be close. And be still with desire, but not to act on it so quick. A solace of sorts, balancing between sound and silence. Like taking a walk with no destination...To go fishing and enjoy the day without catching fish... noticing a tiny flower floating on the surface of a lake that nobody would take notice of, then glazing at it like a child in awe. Never to forget...just to be happy with the simplicity of things.
I and wish you well this summer in all of your endeavors. But I'm selfish in hope that someway we can find the way to explore these other avenues.