emotionally attached scars and holidays plans.
( wendleberry 's image)
1. my mum has bought me some Bio-oil. It's supposed to help clear away scars and things. Of course, she was angling for me to use for my scar from open heart surgery. I found my self snapping a response on how I don't have a problem with it, and I shouldn't be forced to get rid of it if I don't want to. She was about as shocked as I was and said she wasn't forcing me to do anything. And she wasn't.
I've had the scar for my whole life now, I didn't realize how I actually felt about it. Sure, it's big (although you can only see the top of it anyway seeing as it gets covered by clothes) and yea, it's weird, but it's me. It's a constant reminder of how precious life is and how close I was to loosing it. It defines me, it makes me special, different from everybody else. I couldn't imagine looking in the bathroom mirror before a shower and not seeing it there. I've accepted it will fade, eventually, but forcing it away?
i'm strangely attached. I used the oil this morning, feeling guilty for flying off the handle with mum. It says if no change appears in three months to stop using it as the oil is not strong enough for the scar. Who knows, maybe it will be gone sooner than I thought...It makes me uneasy, but it's been a long time. Maybe it's time to see it go.
2. maths test this Wednesday D: D:
whhyyy??
3. i'm reading a book and doing a review on it for English so I can soak up as much extra credit as I can, seeing as I'm sure I'm not going to an A (and that's what my parents want). It's about the shittiest thing I've ever read, but hey, anything for credit.
4. i'm going to Brisbane these hols to see my family, yay :] . Four weeks of school left until we take off. I'll also have my new laptop by this time !! *spasm*
5. i'm finally getting a feel for Gimp, the photo editing program after loosing photo shop. Took my time, but I'm, getting there.
6. one of my best friends recently had a really messy break up. He's being a completer dick about it, and it sounds like he's spreading rumours at his school. The whole ordeal is getting out of hand, as his friends that she doesn't even know that well start verbally abusing her because of it when it wasn't her fault any way. He was the one that forced her into the decision, and I think she did the right thing. She's beginning to get upset about it, and I'm wondering what every bodies problem is. This is her and her boyfriend's problems, not the whole fucking schools, or anybody he can talk to and bitch about her because he's so bloody in love with her. gezz. [/rant]
7. finally got my hands on a good quality copy of the POTC soundtracks I've been looking for !! :'D
ta ta ;]