how odd...
well. they took our internet access off us at work so this is the first time i've been able to update.
its been an amzingly screwed up few weeks. since i last wrote, my world literally seemed to fall to pieces. 5 days later jim and i split up and he moved out on the following day. 2 days later my fears of being pregnant were realised when i had a miscarriage. didn't even know about the baby so that was one hell of a shock. i had skipped a period on purpose so turned out to be coming up on 8 weeks. wat an idiot. now i know how super fertile i am and will take better care of myself in the future. got me pretty sick tho, so in between the sobbing and the total collapses cos my relationship had fallen apart i was tired and achey alot of the time.
jim stayed abit that week to make sure i was ok and all. but no matter how hard i wanted to, i couldn't stop feeling like everything was turning black around me. i hate that total depression that just drops on you out of nowhere.
on the following wednesday, 4 days after we split, he told me he'd gotten off the phone to me that night and slept with sumone else. ouch. so i lay in bed (at my parents house) that night and cried my self to sleep cos i'd lost the love in my life. and 10 minutes later, he shagged another girl. i refused to cry over it at the time - when he told me - but it hurt so damn much.
basically, everything went from bad to worse after all that, and then, out of the blue, i stopped crying and have been in a fantastic mood for 10 days now. jims gone - turned up one morning and announced he was moving to wellington - and i've had to simply deal with that.
and i'm still in love, he still loves me and at this very moment we're chatting about our future. i guess life will always try to knowck you down and you just gotta get back up again and brush yourself off.
you never know wats around the corner
*el*
its been an amzingly screwed up few weeks. since i last wrote, my world literally seemed to fall to pieces. 5 days later jim and i split up and he moved out on the following day. 2 days later my fears of being pregnant were realised when i had a miscarriage. didn't even know about the baby so that was one hell of a shock. i had skipped a period on purpose so turned out to be coming up on 8 weeks. wat an idiot. now i know how super fertile i am and will take better care of myself in the future. got me pretty sick tho, so in between the sobbing and the total collapses cos my relationship had fallen apart i was tired and achey alot of the time.
jim stayed abit that week to make sure i was ok and all. but no matter how hard i wanted to, i couldn't stop feeling like everything was turning black around me. i hate that total depression that just drops on you out of nowhere.
on the following wednesday, 4 days after we split, he told me he'd gotten off the phone to me that night and slept with sumone else. ouch. so i lay in bed (at my parents house) that night and cried my self to sleep cos i'd lost the love in my life. and 10 minutes later, he shagged another girl. i refused to cry over it at the time - when he told me - but it hurt so damn much.
basically, everything went from bad to worse after all that, and then, out of the blue, i stopped crying and have been in a fantastic mood for 10 days now. jims gone - turned up one morning and announced he was moving to wellington - and i've had to simply deal with that.
and i'm still in love, he still loves me and at this very moment we're chatting about our future. i guess life will always try to knowck you down and you just gotta get back up again and brush yourself off.
you never know wats around the corner
*el*