till death...
okay well last month and a bit have been shit, god i cant even work out why my life has turned to shit so bad. i keep having breakdown which i cant fully recover from... i quit all my stupid drug use but for the last week i been doing dmx which is great while it lasts but its like the more you do it the more you gotta take next time for a bigger hit then the come down is shitter and shitter. i have no money to buy any today.. not that its expensive i mean for fuck sake what sad bitch gets high on cough medicine.. fuuuuuuck im so fucking fucked up. anyways i have no money so i just took 17 panadol rapids and i never took so mnay of that so im waiting to see hwta happens... right now i feel mellow and depressed but hey thats what i was feeling before so yeh its kinda doing jack shit at the moment. im listening to my favourite singer's music and wanna cry for no fucking reason. i pulled a sickie yesterday from work and just came home and got fucked and it was great then it wore off... i need something to fuck me up forever. something smells gross.. ew, smells like shit. not me! im so isolated in this fucked up world of mine. i still have no one i can talk to about this as much as i needa talk about it but then if i did find someone to confide in chances are i wouldnt tell them anyway. ahhhhhh i fucking hate my life. i need alcohol. okay im desprete... fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuck.. okay yay now im getting a head spin.. okay im out i think rapid is kickin in, thnak fuck!
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