Chapter 115. Jia Kenmin’s New Years
Those dumplings better be good. Hu Wang’s orders. Well to be honest, things were much better for him than for his parents in their days, so dumplings always tasted rather mundane and bland for him. But hell, what is Chinese New Year without dumplings? Sure, the family isn’t here to fold it with him - not that he particularly cares. Sides, it’s not that he nor any of them actually knew how to cook a delicious meal. Zhang Zhi Chuan on the other hand - while his name makes him sound quite literally like a growing hemorrhoid than flowing knowledge as his parents may have intended - knows a thing or two about making a mean dish. Kenmin should order some Korean BBQ on the side...he’d like some spicy hot pot too, but Hu Wang wouldn’t ever think to cook for himself, now would he...
The decorations he ordered have already arrived, he knew it would look good. He has always had good taste. He can’t believe those idiots wanted to hang the same old, lame shit like last year. That Monkey cutout looked like a piece of turd. Now the modern holiday-lights he picked out are much better, the way it it shines against the windows, making the rooster’s colorful plumage look absolutely majestic. He still got some lanterns after he heard they were Hu Wang’s favorite - and of course that origami fish thing, based on some lame pun about good fortune or something - gotta keep up the act.
He has just finished the dumplings and started to dig into the Chang Shou Mian - the irony of eating Longevity Noodles in the afterlife does not escape him - when he hears the first bangs. And the screams. He already has a suspicion who’s responsible for this when he sets the bowl down and stands up.
He can’t believe that this idiot got fire crackers - again. Didn’t he learn anything from that fiasco on January 1st when the shop burned down? Hell, why is he still putting up with that moron?! He should be in the exquisite rooms, eating exquisite food - why did he even come out here? What does he care for all this shit?! Let someone else handle it for once! Maybe it’s getting a bit lonely. He has to admit, he even imagined Hu Wang sitting there with him for a second. Damn. How pathetic.
He could invite Li Chen - but he’d rather not tell him about the game he’s got on. Not that Kenmin thinks the guy would try to screw him over, but man, Li Chen is so stupid, he might do it by accident and then they would be utterly fucked.
If only Li Zhen was here… he would tell her everything, feast with her through the night, and then they’d totally get it on.
Some mooks are trying to distinguish the fire. Ah well. He’ll make sure everything gets sorted out tomorrow.
When he returns the next morning, the mess is even worse than he would have thought the night before. He sighs. Li Chen… really is off for a bad start with him this year. Kenmin kicks a few empty rockets aside and looks around. Nobody else is here. Most of them are probably still hung over.
Except for a familiar face, walking up to him. Ban? Yan? He doesn’t remember too well… What does it matter. If Kenmin feels like it, he’ll just give him a new name altogether.
“Hey, you! Clean that up here” But the guy doesn’t stop, taking the last few steps to him and looks him straight in the eye. Defiantly, if Kenmin’s eyes aren’t paying tricks on him from all the bai jiu from the night before. He doesn’t like it.
“The others appointed me foreman,” he says. “And I’m not putting up with your shit any longer, Jia. Hu Wang can damn himself to another layer of hell!”
What? What is this guy talking about?! There are no fucking foremans or whatever here, unless Kenmin says so!
“Listen, Ban-”
“Bian!”
“Whatever, I don’t give a crap about what your little friends say, I tell you to clean that, you go fetch a fucking broom and clean it!”
“No. You could ask the others, but they follow my lead. A new order of things welcomes the new year.” Damn, if the idiot’s going to insist on being difficult, does he really have to be so melodramatic about it?
He decided not do anything he might regret later and retreated to think, telling that Bian-fuck that Hu Wang will hear about his defiance.
Yeah, if only.
Damn. It’s up to him to take care of that shit.
Only reason he’s still here and bothers with this is because he wants to see that Morales suffer - well, that’s not that true. He likes the way he’s shitting these idiots, and he enjoys the good life. He’s on top now, even if nobody knows it. They will eventually. Until then he’ll have fun, he guesses. If only there were women here… but even if Li Zhen would kick it, there’s no way someone so feminine would ever end up here… Li Yu maybe. But he’s not sure if boning her would count as straight sex - not that he would ever dream of it in any case - she’s like his older sister, for fuck’s sake. Also, she’d probably break a few of his bones in the process, she’s such a roughian. The guys she dated always sported so many bruises, Kenmin often mistook them for spotted dogs..
God, what is he coming to, he’s thinking about sex with Li Yu…
He needs to focus on this foreman-issue. He has to dissolve this… whatever they thought up here. A union? How do people crush those again? Violence is always an option, of course, but… if they beat up too many how would anything get done? Usually Li Yu took care of any… cooperation-problems, so sadly, he lacks the experience from life. And here, in the afterlife, Hu Wang’s name has always been enough. Well, up till now. Damn.
Last thing he wants is these farmers to start a fight all at once… that could turn out to be troublesome. Looks like it’s time to call a little meeting.
“Hu Wang has put me in charge to deal with those… ideas some of the workers have been developing. And I thought… why not give some of you guys a chance to gain Hu Wang’s favor as well?”
Silence. A few eyebrows raise. Idiots.
“You make a good suggestion how to deal with the problem, Hu Wang will hear of it.”
That gets the ideas flowing. Sadly these aren’t the good ones. He declines three differently worded suggestions of just beating them up - one of starving them until they comply - and one to make an example out of Bian. He wants this without losing workforce or making them start some riot. He wants some brains here, not muscle.
“If we could convince some of them that Bian is absolutely incompetent… and they are only getting themselves in trouble…” an older guy says. Kenmin likes that.
“Good one, Hu Wang will know your name, ah…” What was the guy’s name again? He dimly remembers having talked to that sorry excuse for hair a few months ago.
“Xiu Wei Zhong.”
“Xiu Wei Zhong. So, anyone else got a good one like Old Xiu?”
A ridiculously small man who looks like he put a pisspot on his head and cut in circles around it raises his hand.
“We could divide them in groups. Spread some rumors. Treat some better than others. Make them distrust each other. They’ll be on each other’s throats in no time”
“And that’ll solve our problems… Good one...Dou...”
“Bob. Bob Dou.”
“Are you serious?”
The guy looks at him, shrugging.
“Whatever... You and Xiu Wei Zhong will be in charge of seeing to it that it’s done. If you do a good job, I’ll sing the fucking praise to Hu Wang, and he’ll be pleased with you.”
Ah, he did that well. Shove it into some semi-competent hands, be rid of the issue. He could use some tea right now.
Until he hears their simpering voices. He already knows what’s about to come. Hell, can’t he get a break?
“But we had a deal!” Yeah yeah, we are good Christians, we don’t deserve this. Wah wah wah. Well tough.
“Sorry, but you’ll just have to suck it up. Like everyone else does. Well, I suppose you can ask your God to lend us a hand. It’s worth a try I guess.” Kenmin shrugs, giving the smuggest smirk he can manage.
“For fu-fudge’s sake, we know somethings up that you’re not telling us! Stop shitting us, you lazy fu- oh, fuck it - fuck!”
“Jonathan! Language!”
“Oh, fuck you! They are screwing us over! And you! I am not done with you, asshole! You are going to fix this! The Reverend has been waiting for months now for this shitty robe you’ve been paid to make for him! And my razor! You seen what that knife does to my face?!” He points at the unsightly red dots all over his face. Oh, the poor thing. Kenmin is going to light a candle for him later.
“Sorry, but my hands are tied.”
“Don’t you at least have some leftover razors somewhere?”
“Ah, if only you had come by yesterday…”
That’s when those Russians made that deal with him, to get any “hoarded inventory”. Kenmin let it cost them good - he can’t help but smile at the memory. More money exchanged hands that day than he could ever get out of these cheap fish. Sure, the Jews tried to haggle a lot, but after Kenmin reminded him how displeased the Aryans would be if they were to find out about them trying to make deals behind their backs… Kenmin got the full sticker price then and there.
Yes. Good deals.