Podium.
I wrote this a year and a half ago: a speech hastily scrawled. A joint effort between Tessa, Steph and I. I spoke to families and essentially, to my friends. It's not well written. But it was honest and I suppose honesty is never so eloquent.
So this is what I said:
Mr. P, Mr. D, Mr. B, teachers, family, friends and the graduating class of 2006.
Graduation is possibly the most absurd event you’ll ever encounter in your life. An event that people from all over the world have accepted as part of culture. In short - we look and sound completely ridiculous and it’s socially acceptable. Just look at us! We’re wearing square shaped mortarboards, the most ridiculous excuse for a hat which as far as I am concerned has no other purpose other than creating hat hair. We’re wearing robes that are too big and far too shiny for comfort - like a cape gone horribly wrong.
The event is less a celebration of us getting through highschool than it is a celebration of the people who managed to drag us there, sometimes kicking and screaming. To the parents of graduates, can you believe that your kids have dragged a comb through their hair and managed to bring themselves to school for the last 12 years all on their own? Okay make that the last 4 years…. Actually for some of us make that the last 2 years and well, here they are. Thank you for giving us food and shelter. In some countries that’s actually a law so great job on the initiative. Despite our desire to run through those doors, laughing hysterically with a diploma in hand, we know we’ll always come back to you: for the laughter, the love, the shoulder to cry on, that ever so special talk about the birds and the bees, that firm yet gentle reminder to brush our teeth but… most essentially… the financial support. Thank you.
And I suppose now is the moment where I’m supposed to say something awe-inspiring and motivational, as though the wisdom of a 16-year old is to be trusted. Here’s the point where I will talk about chasing after your wildest dreams, where you picture yourself as Cinderella finding her Prince Charming or finally benching 400 pounds at the gym, all of the stuff about the importance of setting goals, to strive and drive to finally reach out and aim for the stars.
Of course you’ve have heard about all those pretty happy fun things before in classrooms, at the dinner table and on motivational posters plastered on the walls in the office. Don’t get me wrong. They’re still important.
But why would you believe me? As far as life experience goes, well I’ve only got 16 years of it and apparently in the real world that’s not a lot.
Call it a disclaimer for the rest of my speech. Results may vary.
What I am here to talk about is the world out there. In the words of a graduation song, we’re about to throw that door open wide and begin our lives, as if all this time we’ve been living inside a cave, which is true for some of us who live inside our rooms.
Take the most that life can offer you, so long as it’s legal. We’re about to integrate into society as fully-functioning adults…… which means we’re no longer eligible for juvy….. so don’t get caught
I heard rumors that they broke the world. I’m hoping it’s just a rumor. Even if it’s true, I trust that we will find a way to fix it somehow before our hearts harden with cholesterol buildup or with skepticism - whichever kills us first.
This graduation is not the beginning of our lives because our lives have already begun. It is, however, the beginning of uncertainty, of responsibility and we get to stay out as late as we want to.
Sooner or later, we all discover that the important moments in life are not the advertised kinds. It’s not the number of birthday candles on your cake… not the weddings.. or the divorces come to that. It’s not the number of certificates and grades that you achieve and neither is it the titles that you collect through the years - graduation included. The real milestones come quietly and are less attractive than you think. Like finding out you can tie your own shoes… or surviving on Maggie Mee or Kraft Dinner for a week because well a) you can’t cook and b) because of excessive investments on all the things your parents would never ever think of getting you.
Those are the real milestones that measure our lives.
So this graduation, despite the funky getup, isn’t such a big deal because it would never amount to the journey and the people that brought us here. But because we tend to forget to thank them, I guess there is no better time than to thank them now. Thank you.
I am honored to represent the class of 2006, for what reason, I still don’t understand. Before your exit this room as new members of society, remember one last piece of advice, please don’t trip. And even if you do, do it with grace.
Thank you.
So this is what I said:
Mr. P, Mr. D, Mr. B, teachers, family, friends and the graduating class of 2006.
Graduation is possibly the most absurd event you’ll ever encounter in your life. An event that people from all over the world have accepted as part of culture. In short - we look and sound completely ridiculous and it’s socially acceptable. Just look at us! We’re wearing square shaped mortarboards, the most ridiculous excuse for a hat which as far as I am concerned has no other purpose other than creating hat hair. We’re wearing robes that are too big and far too shiny for comfort - like a cape gone horribly wrong.
The event is less a celebration of us getting through highschool than it is a celebration of the people who managed to drag us there, sometimes kicking and screaming. To the parents of graduates, can you believe that your kids have dragged a comb through their hair and managed to bring themselves to school for the last 12 years all on their own? Okay make that the last 4 years…. Actually for some of us make that the last 2 years and well, here they are. Thank you for giving us food and shelter. In some countries that’s actually a law so great job on the initiative. Despite our desire to run through those doors, laughing hysterically with a diploma in hand, we know we’ll always come back to you: for the laughter, the love, the shoulder to cry on, that ever so special talk about the birds and the bees, that firm yet gentle reminder to brush our teeth but… most essentially… the financial support. Thank you.
And I suppose now is the moment where I’m supposed to say something awe-inspiring and motivational, as though the wisdom of a 16-year old is to be trusted. Here’s the point where I will talk about chasing after your wildest dreams, where you picture yourself as Cinderella finding her Prince Charming or finally benching 400 pounds at the gym, all of the stuff about the importance of setting goals, to strive and drive to finally reach out and aim for the stars.
Of course you’ve have heard about all those pretty happy fun things before in classrooms, at the dinner table and on motivational posters plastered on the walls in the office. Don’t get me wrong. They’re still important.
But why would you believe me? As far as life experience goes, well I’ve only got 16 years of it and apparently in the real world that’s not a lot.
Call it a disclaimer for the rest of my speech. Results may vary.
What I am here to talk about is the world out there. In the words of a graduation song, we’re about to throw that door open wide and begin our lives, as if all this time we’ve been living inside a cave, which is true for some of us who live inside our rooms.
Take the most that life can offer you, so long as it’s legal. We’re about to integrate into society as fully-functioning adults…… which means we’re no longer eligible for juvy….. so don’t get caught
I heard rumors that they broke the world. I’m hoping it’s just a rumor. Even if it’s true, I trust that we will find a way to fix it somehow before our hearts harden with cholesterol buildup or with skepticism - whichever kills us first.
This graduation is not the beginning of our lives because our lives have already begun. It is, however, the beginning of uncertainty, of responsibility and we get to stay out as late as we want to.
Sooner or later, we all discover that the important moments in life are not the advertised kinds. It’s not the number of birthday candles on your cake… not the weddings.. or the divorces come to that. It’s not the number of certificates and grades that you achieve and neither is it the titles that you collect through the years - graduation included. The real milestones come quietly and are less attractive than you think. Like finding out you can tie your own shoes… or surviving on Maggie Mee or Kraft Dinner for a week because well a) you can’t cook and b) because of excessive investments on all the things your parents would never ever think of getting you.
Those are the real milestones that measure our lives.
So this graduation, despite the funky getup, isn’t such a big deal because it would never amount to the journey and the people that brought us here. But because we tend to forget to thank them, I guess there is no better time than to thank them now. Thank you.
I am honored to represent the class of 2006, for what reason, I still don’t understand. Before your exit this room as new members of society, remember one last piece of advice, please don’t trip. And even if you do, do it with grace.
Thank you.