DORKAGE: House 4x07 Ugly
How could they call an episode Ugly when it features so much pretty, especially of the Lisa Edelstein variety? I mean, LE was rocking some serious black-and-white, my friends. I have random caps of her from the episode just because she made me go all slack-jawed in wonder at her Unbelievable Gorgeousness.
Bear in mind before embarking upon this review/pic-spam, people: This is SO not dial-up friendly because the H/C scenes this week rocked SO HARD.
- I'm going to try and be all disciplined and everything and not just rant and rave about how gorgeous LE is, or how cute House and Cuddy were (BUT THEY WERE, AIEEEEE!), and I'll start by saying that this was a really interesting episode. Think I'll have to watch it at least another time to make sure I get everything in it - is it just me, or is the medicine this season getting a bit of a short shrift? I find myself struggling now to follow some of the cases, partly because the explanations get all muddled up with the new characters and the need to give them time to speak and everything. With a million new characters running around, there's no time to concentrate on the procedural aspect of the show - not much, anyway. Which means the diagnoses are even more confusing to me than they sometimes are.
- Or maybe I'm just stupid. Stupider. Whatever. ;)
- Anyway. Oooh. I'm kind of liking how each duckling is getting a bit of a turn in the spotlight, even though this is making me grumpy because it means we're never going to get down to a final three at this rate. (Not to mention that it increases the likelihood of my getting attached to them, bugger it all.) I've been liking Taub (except when he goes mano a mano with the dearly departed Bosley - sorry, Taub, you're kind of rocking but no one should take the spot on the team clearly reserved for Ridiculously Old Fraud!), and I thought it was genuinely fascinating in this episode how he so doggedly went up against House. To the extent that he told the camera crew that he was going to get House thrown off the case! Whoa! As with Cole's punch, he's lucky House isn't the typical employer and actually admires the kind of guts that comes from gambling your second chance at a career on a diagnosis you're convinced is right. I'm pretty certain Taub isn't pretty enough to make it to the final 3, but I'm glad House kept him around at least another week.
- Thanks to the elimination of Completely Pointless CIA Crush Object (CPCCO), obviously. Big sigh. She is such a Plot Device - planted there so that they could keep the current five for another few episodes. I think the writers really love all five of them, and it is a shame because they're great. CTB I get annoyed by, but she'd spice up the show. I love Cole. And I'm liking Taub. Kal Penn is still there because he's Kal Penn - he hasn't got his big episode yet, but surely he will at some point. At present, I'd have him eliminated though. He's the least interesting in the bunch, though he did have a couple of funny slacker-student moments with Kenny (drugs, wearing a tie etc).
- I didn't mention 13 because she is rather meh to me but she's obviously staying - look, she's pretty and gets all the diagnoses right (this particular differential makes number what for her?! she's beating House a lot, even, which means she's smarter than House?! HORRORS!) and she's "mysterious" and played by freakin' Olivia Wilde. Whatever. She's in. (Though, flippancy aside, I did like how she was so convinced that House was right, or at least not wrong about something still being wrong with Kenny. Even if that something was her diagnosis, I liked the faith she had in him to stand outside the OR until she spotted what was up with Kenny.)
- FINALLY! More Chase than Foreman. HELLO CUTE BLONDE BOY. So cute when he was being told by Darnell to say that Kenny would make it to his junior prom. Hee. I like flustered Chase.
- And Cameron's profession of love for House - MAN. What was that about? I wasn't bugged by it, too much, though obviously it was meant to be a Freudian slip, because she was totally rehearsing how to fix it in front of Chase. That was cute, even if it was brief, and reminds me why I did become a C/C shipper towards the end of last season. I wonder if these two would get more extended scenes if the actors had remained engaged in real life. Because, hello, AWKWARD to have them kissing and everything, no?
- House's crush on CPCCO was kind of cute. Not so much for the lack of crushing on Cuddy, which is just So Wrong, but because it was kind of cute to see House getting all goofy for an entirely hormonal, non-Vicodin-related reason. So fun to see him trying to talk and reason himself out of that: "I can't believe I'm that guy." Wilson: "Every guy is that guy (except me, because I'm gay as an egg - at least when I'm not momentarily bisexual and lusting after the hotness that is Lisa Cuddy)." Or when Wilson tells him he's protected because Foreman is immune - and Wilson snarks that Foreman had better not be gay or he'd be all goofy around Chase, LOL! As if we weren't all goofy about Chase as is!
- Which brings me to the point - House is being played as such a.. I don't know, looser character this season. They're loosening him up, freeing him of all that S3 angst, and just letting him... have fun, I guess. And playing to Hugh Laurie's incredible comic timing as well, I guess. It's great, to see this side of House. But I do hope that eventually, eventually when everything settles down, we get back to some truly meaty dramatic stuff. And not the meaty dramatic stuff that is randomly thrown into an episode and then forgotten forevermore (hello, 97 Seconds). I guess I'm only getting randomly angsty because I just saw the trailer for the next episode, which looks AWESOME, don't get me wrong (hee, THONG!), but what's this about House just falling over? Is that angsty? My heart leapt at the possibility of it, and then I realised we probably would just get cheated out of that too. So there's a part of me that really wants the ducklets pruned down, and the part that's kind of getting attached to some of them. Boo.
I don't even know why I pretend to have intelligent thoughts anymore. Me, I just want to get to the pretty.
I just went gay, all of a sudden
Possibly forever!
Okay, so I know there were total meta-reasons for the documentary part of the episode being in black-and-white and everything, but surely one reason that was done was because, HELLO, House and Cuddy are GORGEOUS in black and white?! I'm such a sucker for all things classic film, seriously, so it's just wonderful to see HL and LE in such glorious, glossy monochrome. And is it just me, or did the entire episode become prettier as a result of the B&W? I have a feeling the colour parts of the episode were spruced up and made richer this episode, just to serve as a really great contrast to the documentary stuff - I say that only because I didn't even do my usual, minimal Photoshopping for this batch of (82!!) caps. They just started out beautiful.
Proof positive that these two should be classic film stars or something:
Awww. Bogie and Baby, redux.
And you want to know when, precisely, I went totally, almost irrevocably gay? It was this scene, when the documentary crew was tattling to Cuddy about House having sought refuge from them in every room they couldn't enter:
Cuddy: The OR?
Darnell: And the MRI room.
Cuddy. Yes. Dr House frequently conducts differential diagnoses in a variety of places. He feels that... a change in venue often leads to a change in thinking processes. (pause) I have to go take care of something else.
Oh, and, of course, Cuddy had to let House use her room for a differential after saying that, so:
Awww, look at her. She definitely wants in on the action!
Couple other awesome moments:
House: She waxes her moustache once a month - sometimes you get some pretty gnarly ingrown hairs.
Cuddy: WTF?!?!? <-- LOL. This reaction shot of Cuddy is made of so much win!!
- - - - -
Cuddy: What are you two doing here?
House: Skipping three scenes. CT's back. He's going to say there's evidence of an anomaly, I'm going to say he's wrong, he's going to go back to the father and we're all going to end up here.
- - - - -
Cuddy: Taub, I don't see it. Stay away from the family. House, start steroids. And stay away from his family.
- - - - -
I had thought about this but didn't think I had the time or energy to write it up, but I MUST. Cuddy is made of so much win this season - as already discussed in previous reviews, I love how they're making sure to demonstrate that only a Cuddy would hire a House. But we're also getting SuperKickass!Cuddy back, which is AWESOME. I love how House just gave in to her this episode, on the film crew, on not firing Taub, on everything. So I had to add this scene:
House: Oh and I think I mentioned this earlier - you're fired. [He looks to Cuddy to back him up, as always.]
Cuddy: What you did was over the line. Get out.
[Taub walks out, House helpfully opens the door for him.]
Cuddy: But don't go anywhere. You're not fired. Yet.
[House prepares to start whinging.]
Cuddy: No one is firing anyone in the middle of this case! Not while the cameras are here and not while Taub is the only person that this father trusts!
[House walks off.]
Cuddy: Where are you going?
House: To do what I always do in these situations. Treat my patient behind his back.
Cuddy: That's one option. Or you can do a CT scan of the kid's head. If there's no mid-line shift we know Taub's wrong and you get your consent to give the kid steroids.
House: Just a warning: if we have to get consent every time we do a procedure, soon they'll be asking for informed consent.
- - - - -
And I just LOVE this random moment when Cuddy is checking out the CT scan - as Taub and House quarrel past her, she's just totally standing there like a rock star, lol.
SEE how much more gorgeous LE is in B&W? GAH!!!! And it's not like she isn't gorgeous in colour either. (See photo stories below...)
Two absolutely massive H/C photo-stories this time. Because I'm so pleased with the amount of Cuddy and H/C screentime we got this episode. Yup yup. And that last scene?! Talk. About. SQUEEAGE.
- I'm sure I can't be the only one who thinks there MUST be something going on between House and Cuddy this season - their banter feels so... loaded, and yet so comfortable, like there's some real weight to it. Pretty much exactly as it would be if these two had been schtupping for a few months already - some of their conversations feel pretty much like they've been carried over from Cuddy's boudoir. To wit:
HOUSE/CUDDY PHOTO STORY #384064 - Do you kiss Cuddy with that mouth, House?!
[House is ready to head back to the salt mines and to bid farewell to the little wife Cuddy.]
House: I will see you again after I've saved his life. Have a warm bath waiting.
Cuddy: That won't be the only warm thing I'll have waiting for you. (Yes, Cuddy, arch your back! That'll make him come home to you quicker!)
[Cuddy, tired out after a night of hot sex, is all ready to send him off.]
[But no. House has very different ideas. He stops at the door, shoos everyone out.]
Cuddy: Uh oh. Am I going to be punished again?
[House doesn't say anything. But he does look awfully pleased to be getting her all to himself...]
[Cuddy knows she's caught. Can't say she doesn't look like she's enjoying every minute though...]
Cuddy: You think I like the cameras? You think I want the whole world watching you check out my ass and question my wardrobe? As if you didn't do that enough in the privacy of my bedroom!
House: Would it be better if I checked out your wardrobe and questioned your ass? Which I did, last night? And this morning? And just five minutes ago, really...
Cuddy: A little part of me... really wants to fuck you senseless right about now.
House: There is no little part of you that I haven't already seen naked. And, by the way, yum.
Cuddy: ...thought that maybe you would see what great PR this could be for the hospital and not make me force you to act like a human being. It's bad enough when you make me force you to get out of my bed. *sadface*
House: You using force on me is intriguing. Care to demonstrate? For the 128343923rd time?
(RANDOM CUDDY REACTION SHOT HI BECAUSE LE IS HOT)
[Ahem. We now return you to your regularly-scheduled photo story...]
House: On the other hand, cameras make people act - sometimes like human beings, and sometimes just weird, and sometimes they wear open-tipped bras. Like the one I saw you put on this morning, just for me. Mmmmm. Good times.
Cuddy: It's cold in here. But I can show you how to create an inferno in about five seconds...
[House considers taking her up on that offer. Unfortunately, the damn salt mines beckon.]
House: Less obvious point is that I need my team to be unafraid of the metaphorical fart. But terrified of what I'll do if they ever interrupt us again, like they did in the conference room the time you had your hand down my...
Cuddy: That production company is covering all the medical costs for this kid. So either you let them continue filming, or the kid goes home with the same face. And you'll never again get to see the look on mine when you've got me up against the wall...
And as if that wasn't great enough!
HOUSE/CUDDY PHOTO STORY #384065 - first date, awwww
Well, not first. But seriously, this last scene was made of TOO MUCH ADORABLE. Minimal editorialising from me this time, because it's just too perfect. My flaily comments in green though, because I just can't resist. Enjoy the gorgeousness:
Darnell [on video]: Just days ago, with Kenny's condition worsening, it was Dr House reassuring Kenny and his father.
House: I care about your son.
[Cuddy sips her coffee, enraptured.]
This was a pan of SO MUCH AWESOME. From Cuddy to House ftw!
Darnell: The charming House, who happens to be a film buff with a soft spot in his heart for children, told the family how he got his start.
House: See, I became a doctor because of the movie Patch Adams.
[House shuts his eyes in horror. His reputation as a cantankerous bastard - gone!]
House: Oh, the horror. [SQUEE MOMENT #385204: CUDDY'S LEGS ARE ON THE TABLE FTW!]
Cuddy: Well, it's nice of them to send us an early copy.
House: That's not sent, that's stolen. [Ahhh, he knows her so well!]
Darnell: It was Dr Gregory House who served as, not only a doctor, but a rock for Kenny and his father.
House: You're putting your trust in someone who does think the surgery is important.
[House is horrified. Cuddy leans back and laughs.] SO. MUCH. FRICKIN'. CUTE.
House: God!
[He gets up in a huff. Cuddy's still laughing. He switches off the TV.]
House: I was saying that was a stupid thing to do.
Cuddy: It's difficult not to be moved. [pretends to wipe away a tear] ROFL CUDDY ILU!
House: Oh, stop it.
[CUDDY FLIRTS SOME MORE.]
House: Suddenly I don't feel like I can trust Michael Moore movies.
Cuddy: Where are you going? Kittens to get out of trees, deaf kids to read to? ROFL - I didn't think it was possible, but Cuddy, now ILU even more!
House: I owe it to the world to make sure this evil never sees the light of day.
[He leaves. She smiles, and eagerly switches the tv back on.]
Darnell: Is there anything else?
Kenny [now without massive cyst]: Thank you, Dr House.
Now that is the money shot. So. Much. Gorgeous. And look at that - Cuddy's in love. Beautiful moment - Kenny says thank you, proof positive that House has somehow touched his life, and Cuddy laughs, a little, and smiles that heartbreaking smile. Awww, man, House. If you're not with this woman already, what's wrong with you!?
And I'm done. Kudos to you if you stuck it out this far. Gah. SO MUCH HAPPY from this episode.