Dorkage: House 4x16 Wilson's Heart
Oh. God.
This episode was... I can't even capslock flail about it. I mean, everything I feel and say you can probably assume is in the equivalent of capslock? But this was such a... smart, heartbreakingly well-written and acted episode, exploring so many themes and relationships and just everything that... capslock doesn't do it justice, somehow. Capslock is for FLAIL. This episode deserves some serious respect.
To wit:
- Because I don't want to use the line from that song that everyone's using. ;)
- Amber. I can't believe - well, I can believe, I expected it - that she died. It was so incredibly incredibly sad. I cried pretty much throughout the whole last ten minutes of the show, when you realise that it's hopeless, when Wilson realises that it's hopeless, when Amber realises it's hopeless... and when House lies there, shocked literally out of his skull, for once, the cause of it all, his attempts to save lives through logic and medicine just... well, not quite cutting the mustard this time.
- I was utterly bereft at Amber dying. It was - horrifying, and so sad (literally, sobbing through much of the last ten minutes, no lie) and so fantastically well-acted by RSL. I don't think I've ever been more impressed with him, and I'm just really really glad that they're finally giving him something to do with the character of Wilson that proves what a fine actor he is. Usually he just plays straight man to House's wacko junkie, and while that takes some pretty darn well-honed comic timing (to match Hugh's? you have to be good!), he hasn't had the chance to really flex his acting muscles much. Well, he did that and more in this episode. There's one particularly heartshattering moment - his face, crumpling into horror and pain and resignation when he's telling Cuddy to shut off the machines, before she tells him to let Amber say goodbye. That moment tore at my heart in a way that should be illegal. Right about... here:
*whimpers a bit*
- I hate that my new ship died just as it began. God. I really WAS getting into Wilson/Amber, and how they actually somehow worked together in a way that wasn't gimmicky in the end. I thought it would be, but they pulled me in, and today, when he was just holding her, and then he shut off the machines... *weeps at the thought* How are we supposed to recover from that?! :(
*sobs some more*
- One thing I must say though? I'm afraid I'm going to have to be a bit of a House apologist - yes, it's his fault, and this is going to clearly form some kind of deep angsty emotional minefield for House and Wilson next season. (OMG, that moment when Wilson pulls the note out from under Amber's pillow? Punch in the gut.) But I still couldn't help thinking - you know, House is an ass, House was drinking, it's House's fault. But it... wasn't, either? I mean, there are WORSE things House has done. Seriously worse, like steal Wilson's prescription pad, and pretty much anything in Season 3 when Tritter was about. But this - well, technically he was being responsible. He called someone to pick him up because he was drunk. Was it his fault that Amber came instead of Wilson? No. Not his fault either that she followed him on the bus. So, you know, while I GET that there'll be some House/Wilson emo-ness next season, I hope they don't belabour the point and conveniently remove the thousands of steps and stuff that happened in between House's drinking and Amber's death such that next season HOUSE = AMBER'S MURDERER.
- I LOVED what this had to say about House though, and how far he would be willing to go for Wilson, and the kind of non-risks he would take because of Wilson. It's partly guilt, deep suppressed guilt until he realises just how culpable he is for what happened to Amber (although I contend, again, that he really isn't), but also because he DOES love Wilson, in his way. That scene with Amber on the bus - when he admits that he doesn't want to be in pain, or miserable, or to have Wilson hate him - only for Amber to ruthlessly say, well, life's like that. Suck it up and get back up. That was just - painful, true, and so well done.
- All that was just epic, really. And the little moments and truths about the other characters were fun too. Aside from proving that the original trio of ducklings remain almost entirely superfluous to the proceedings (why were they kept on, again? although I admit I thought it was nice to see the three of them sitting down together at the end), we got a little bit more insight into Kutner. Interesting, no? The easy assumption for his easygoing, puppy-like personality would be that, well, he's led a charmed life. And the answer is very much no, he's almost more of a cynic than 13 is, and he has his own reasons for treating life and patients the way he does.
- 13 - at least they didn't go the easy route of her not having Huntington's. Did anyone else think her unease was due to the fact that she had a crush or dalliance with Amber in the past? CLEARLY I read too much fanfic. :p
- I was almost too emotionally drained by the end to enjoy the little touch of awesome that was Cuddy keeping watch by House's bedside. ALMOST. I love that she was watching over him, that she slept by his bedside, that she covered his hand with hers - even as he lies awake, wondering if Wilson will ever forgive him. Just such a lovely moment of connection in an episode that was... well, less about that, and more about things falling apart.
So. I loved that. Even if there was no capslock. The lack of capslock should be an indication of how much I enjoyed it, really, and how much it was just an experience. I love this show, and the writers, and the cast. I hate that it's the end of the season, but at least it's going out with a real bang. Lots to look forward to over a looong summer hiatus. Sigh!
Non House-related dorkiness:
Anyway. The reason I got to the recap so late? I was messing around, predictably, with my new iPod. OH GOD. You know what? iPods are EVIL for people who have anal-retentive, obsessive-compulsive tendencies. I am supremely ANNOYED by the way my music looks at points, so I must reorganise and re-tag songs and albums and EVERYTHING. This is going to be a HUGE PROJECT, OMG. FAIL FAIL. Not to mention the fact that I've discovered the joy of having pretty album art. I will emphatically NOT allow myself to make art for every single bootleg I have. WILL NOT. But I sense cover arts are in the future for Julia's concerts at least. *ahem* Also? I NOW HAVE THE WILD PARTY ON MY IPOD. I CAN WATCH JULIA SINGING HER LUNGS OUT AT ME PRETTY MUCH ANYTIME I WANT, KTHX. This is awesome.
What's not so awesome? Going to bed at 4.30am on a weekday. FECK. I'm going to be even more retarded at work than usual...
This episode was... I can't even capslock flail about it. I mean, everything I feel and say you can probably assume is in the equivalent of capslock? But this was such a... smart, heartbreakingly well-written and acted episode, exploring so many themes and relationships and just everything that... capslock doesn't do it justice, somehow. Capslock is for FLAIL. This episode deserves some serious respect.
To wit:
- Because I don't want to use the line from that song that everyone's using. ;)
- Amber. I can't believe - well, I can believe, I expected it - that she died. It was so incredibly incredibly sad. I cried pretty much throughout the whole last ten minutes of the show, when you realise that it's hopeless, when Wilson realises that it's hopeless, when Amber realises it's hopeless... and when House lies there, shocked literally out of his skull, for once, the cause of it all, his attempts to save lives through logic and medicine just... well, not quite cutting the mustard this time.
- I was utterly bereft at Amber dying. It was - horrifying, and so sad (literally, sobbing through much of the last ten minutes, no lie) and so fantastically well-acted by RSL. I don't think I've ever been more impressed with him, and I'm just really really glad that they're finally giving him something to do with the character of Wilson that proves what a fine actor he is. Usually he just plays straight man to House's wacko junkie, and while that takes some pretty darn well-honed comic timing (to match Hugh's? you have to be good!), he hasn't had the chance to really flex his acting muscles much. Well, he did that and more in this episode. There's one particularly heartshattering moment - his face, crumpling into horror and pain and resignation when he's telling Cuddy to shut off the machines, before she tells him to let Amber say goodbye. That moment tore at my heart in a way that should be illegal. Right about... here:
*whimpers a bit*
- I hate that my new ship died just as it began. God. I really WAS getting into Wilson/Amber, and how they actually somehow worked together in a way that wasn't gimmicky in the end. I thought it would be, but they pulled me in, and today, when he was just holding her, and then he shut off the machines... *weeps at the thought* How are we supposed to recover from that?! :(
*sobs some more*
- One thing I must say though? I'm afraid I'm going to have to be a bit of a House apologist - yes, it's his fault, and this is going to clearly form some kind of deep angsty emotional minefield for House and Wilson next season. (OMG, that moment when Wilson pulls the note out from under Amber's pillow? Punch in the gut.) But I still couldn't help thinking - you know, House is an ass, House was drinking, it's House's fault. But it... wasn't, either? I mean, there are WORSE things House has done. Seriously worse, like steal Wilson's prescription pad, and pretty much anything in Season 3 when Tritter was about. But this - well, technically he was being responsible. He called someone to pick him up because he was drunk. Was it his fault that Amber came instead of Wilson? No. Not his fault either that she followed him on the bus. So, you know, while I GET that there'll be some House/Wilson emo-ness next season, I hope they don't belabour the point and conveniently remove the thousands of steps and stuff that happened in between House's drinking and Amber's death such that next season HOUSE = AMBER'S MURDERER.
- I LOVED what this had to say about House though, and how far he would be willing to go for Wilson, and the kind of non-risks he would take because of Wilson. It's partly guilt, deep suppressed guilt until he realises just how culpable he is for what happened to Amber (although I contend, again, that he really isn't), but also because he DOES love Wilson, in his way. That scene with Amber on the bus - when he admits that he doesn't want to be in pain, or miserable, or to have Wilson hate him - only for Amber to ruthlessly say, well, life's like that. Suck it up and get back up. That was just - painful, true, and so well done.
- All that was just epic, really. And the little moments and truths about the other characters were fun too. Aside from proving that the original trio of ducklings remain almost entirely superfluous to the proceedings (why were they kept on, again? although I admit I thought it was nice to see the three of them sitting down together at the end), we got a little bit more insight into Kutner. Interesting, no? The easy assumption for his easygoing, puppy-like personality would be that, well, he's led a charmed life. And the answer is very much no, he's almost more of a cynic than 13 is, and he has his own reasons for treating life and patients the way he does.
- 13 - at least they didn't go the easy route of her not having Huntington's. Did anyone else think her unease was due to the fact that she had a crush or dalliance with Amber in the past? CLEARLY I read too much fanfic. :p
- I was almost too emotionally drained by the end to enjoy the little touch of awesome that was Cuddy keeping watch by House's bedside. ALMOST. I love that she was watching over him, that she slept by his bedside, that she covered his hand with hers - even as he lies awake, wondering if Wilson will ever forgive him. Just such a lovely moment of connection in an episode that was... well, less about that, and more about things falling apart.
So. I loved that. Even if there was no capslock. The lack of capslock should be an indication of how much I enjoyed it, really, and how much it was just an experience. I love this show, and the writers, and the cast. I hate that it's the end of the season, but at least it's going out with a real bang. Lots to look forward to over a looong summer hiatus. Sigh!
Non House-related dorkiness:
Anyway. The reason I got to the recap so late? I was messing around, predictably, with my new iPod. OH GOD. You know what? iPods are EVIL for people who have anal-retentive, obsessive-compulsive tendencies. I am supremely ANNOYED by the way my music looks at points, so I must reorganise and re-tag songs and albums and EVERYTHING. This is going to be a HUGE PROJECT, OMG. FAIL FAIL. Not to mention the fact that I've discovered the joy of having pretty album art. I will emphatically NOT allow myself to make art for every single bootleg I have. WILL NOT. But I sense cover arts are in the future for Julia's concerts at least. *ahem* Also? I NOW HAVE THE WILD PARTY ON MY IPOD. I CAN WATCH JULIA SINGING HER LUNGS OUT AT ME PRETTY MUCH ANYTIME I WANT, KTHX. This is awesome.
What's not so awesome? Going to bed at 4.30am on a weekday. FECK. I'm going to be even more retarded at work than usual...