Oh MAN, I am SO GLAD I took the half-day off from work today, which means I could grab the latest House episode much earlier than I normally would. It's not even 11pm and I'm all ready with caps for the IMMENSE AMOUNT OF SQUEE-AGE THAT WILL ENSUE. I swear, if you're a House/Cuddy shipper? There's just so so so MUCH in this episode to chew over and cuddle happily to oneself. For serious. I'll try to give SOME form of intelligent thought to the rest of the ep, but man. This was all about the sex we're not seeing onscreen. Heh.
- Ah, power. And proof positive that House is the biggest of the big cheeses in PPTH - or, as he puts it himself, "Apparently it's impossible to see anything else when I'm in there. I'm a blinding white-hot light of power." LOL, I loved that line. This was probably the most interesting part of POTW's mirror syndrome, and how he would ape the alpha male in the room - because that set up a lot of fun character stuff, like Wilson totally pwning House ("You would pick up my laundry, if I asked you to" - HEE!), and of course, the House/Cuddy scene that blinded me to everything else about the episode. See Photo Essay #2, below...
- There's something about the episode that kind of bugged me though; I think it might have to do with the fact that the POTW stuff with the mirror syndrome was so clearly a gimmick. A interesting conceit, of course, and worked a treat for some moments - but come on, are mirror syndrome patients remarkably perceptive or clairvoyant or something? He was aping behaviour within five seconds of someone else sharing a scene with him, without their having displayed any noticeable traits for him to copy. So I know I was supposed to be all intrigued by the "insights" he kept having into each character as he chatted with them, like how CTB has to be all mean and evil to get respect if she can't be liked, and the snooze-inducing Brennan having... oh, whatever, he bores me so much I can't remember what POTW found out about him. ;) But it happened too FAST. Yeah yeah, I know, creative license, there was no time for it to be more realistic and for POTW to interact with each ducklet before aping them. But it just made POTW seem like some kind of creepshow psychic, seriously.
- The ones that DID work for me was everytime he aped House, because House just kept giving off such obvious vibes about how he felt e.g., in the scene with 13. (Although, predictably, I emphatically did not like the part where POTW went all googly-eyed over 13 - SIGH, way to be obvious that 13 is hot and House thinks so too, ick.) But the part where House pretended to be POTW was awesome. House with the dorky slicked-back hair and baseball jacket and proper shirt and pants?! HEE!! I thought that part was skilfully done, getting the POTW to reflect back on himself by pretending to be him.
- You know, I'm so excited to get to the H/C stuff I'm finding it hard to concentrate on the rest of the review. Just had to put that out there. ;)
- Foreman coming back: okay, I'll admit to having been a total grump about it before, and getting very upset with the writers for shoving it in there. But, I must admit, to their credit, they handled it far better than I thought would be possible, to the extent that I actually found myself kind of not-hating Foreman again. Which is good, considering how foul they made him at the end of S3. But this was good stuff - the tug-of-war between House and Foreman was very much in line with their characters, and how stubborn they are. The dynamic was very cleverly pinned down - by Foreman being smart enough to pick out the disturbing symptoms of the patient, but not quite being able to make the House-like leap of genius required to reach a final diagnosis. I liked how by the end they had reached some kind of compromise with each other, and seemed to be on good, almost respectful terms again - it's interesting that House seemed almost impressed by Foreman at the end, for realising that he actually gets off on the torture of being part of House's team because, well, it's exciting and makes him feel alive. Even if he's miserable at the same time!
- Also LOVED how it was totally slipped into the episode that House and Chase are getting on again! They were in cahoots on the pool, how cute is that?!??!?
- The ducklets were kind of meh this episode, and I can see why none of them was fired, since none of them contributed much to the DDX other than to be all freaked-out by prescient POTW-guy. Unfortunately, this means another week for Brennan (who?), who SURELY is not long for this world. PSG is doing okay though - thought it was funny how he stayed back to tell Foreman that he seems nice, and Cuddy decent, but everyone's going to bow before the alpha and omega that is House, eventually. So true. ;)
- But the Survivor thing IS beginning to bug. I love the new comic tone of the show, in these past few episodes - but because the writers are also intent on exploring some pretty serious issues (hello, House sticking a knife in a wall socket in 97 Seconds?) and then glossing over them, I get upset at the thought of MORE wacky hijinks featuring House getting frustrated in his attempts to find out more about 13 (hello, she'd BETTER be a porn-star axe murderer at this rate), or making Mormon jokes about Cole, or, or... I can see where some disillusioned fans of the show are coming from when they say they'd like the show to get back to its smart, really deep roots and character exploration of House. I AM loving this arc, don't get me wrong. But I want to get back to a smaller cast so we can spend more time with them, since they're all so awesome as is.
- Okay, ENOUGH. Turns out I could pretend to be smart for quite a long time. In actuality, the episode TURNED MY BRAIN TO MUSH - there was so much House/Cuddy (sub)text I thought my brain might explode from all of it. In fact, it needs its own separate cut....
For you impatient people who can't be bothered with reading the rest of my thoughts on the episode (totally understandable, man!), HOW CUTE WERE HOUSE AND CUDDY?! OMFG OMFG! The anvils are back, and I'm so glad. XD SO MUCH FLAILING AHEAD. YOU BE WARNED.
Cuddy: Seriously! I have always thought my breasts were one of my best features!
- Yes, Cuddy, because you're so smokin' hot even YOU find your breasts hot. LOL.
- First of all, OMG. There is SO MUCH POSSIBILITY HERE, people. This episode has just made it entirely plausible that House and Cuddy have been DOING IT on the quiet. Possibly ever since he leered at her in Top Secret. ;) Of course, it's always possible to read the snark innocently, and as House being House, but where's the fun in that? And it's so close to TEXT it's almost scary. Enough to ensure that the word 'flail' was used by a million H/C fans the world over about five minutes after the episode ended, I swear.
- Before I get into the photo essays of shippiness, I loved how House and Cuddy were playing pranks on each other throughout the episode. Yeah, I know, Cuddy should be a professional and House is her employee, but come on - you have to fight fire with fire. If your employee acts like a 6-year-old (you're too charitable, Cuddy, he's hardly fourteen!), you're entitled to get him back the only way he would understand i.e., hello, LAXATIVES! I love how my OTP create legal problems for and slip laxatives to each other, hee.
- And HOW CUTE is it that Cuddy knows where House keeps his secret-secret-secret stash of Vicodin!? She was totally raiding it and filling it with laxatives, the evil evil woman. I love how, in this instance, WILSON was her conscience and she was, like, errr, you should have been here two hours ago. Proof to me of how well Cuddy knows House.
Mini photo-essay:
House: I want all my personal, private doctors back right now - except for Foreman.
Cuddy: Your team, Foreman included, is dealing with the Great Mayonnaise Panic of 2007. Frankly, I'm worried it may spread to other continents condiments. <-- thanks to
jukebox_grad, I went back and checked - yes, Cuddy said 'condiments'. Too funny, LOL!
PHOTO ESSAY #1 - OR, OMG THEY ARE SO HAVING SO MUCH SEX!
Cuddy: You want to induce a fever? <-- Oh Cuddy, why do you even pretend to be surprised at the things he does anymore?
House: Unless you're willing to don a white T-shirt and hop into the hot tub with him, I need another way to keep him warm or he dies. <-- House is clearly speaking from personal experience here on how he keeps warm at nights *ahem*
Cuddy: You could maim him.
House: I could cure him.
Cuddy: I'm not letting you do it.
House: You going to fire me?
Cuddy: (exasperated) No.
![](http://i211.photobucket.com/albums/bb243/ellixian/housecaps/house4x05-10.jpg)
[House starts to walk away. Cuddy is triumphant - Cuddy 1, House's Ego 0!]
House: Wait a second, what the hell was that? You were won over by my soaring rhetoric? I basically just threatened to hold my breath!
[Cuddy can't help being a bit smug. Although you got to admit he caught you out in five seconds, Cuddy. Proves how well he knows you, huh?]
![](http://i211.photobucket.com/albums/bb243/ellixian/housecaps/house4x05-15.jpg)
House: You never intended to stop me. You just pretended to stop me so you could pretend to fail to stop me so you could stroke my ego. Ah. War doesn't end 'til Foreman's gone. <-- the reaction shots between House & Cuddy here are just ADORABLE. There are just too many to share here!! ;_;
[Cuddy steps right into House's personal space, as usual. Yay lack of boundaries!]
Cuddy: Foreman's not going anywhere.
House: And I know when my Vicodin isn't Vicodin. Do you know when your birth control pills aren't birth control pills?
[Cuddy is horrified - did House break their pact on sex-with-no-strings-attached without telling her?!]
![](http://i211.photobucket.com/albums/bb243/ellixian/housecaps/house4x05-25.jpg)
- OKAY. OKAY, that was JUST SO MUCH LOVE. Especially when House later tells Foreman, randomly, that Cuddy could WIND UP PREGNANT because of their power play! ROTFL! And Foreman is, all like, "What does you having sex have to do with all this, wtf?!" Oh man. Everyone in PPTH knows they're getting it on. Hee.
- But, and prepare for TONS of fanwanking here: FOR SERIOUS. This scene has so many many possible interpretations - ALL GOOD FOR OUR SHIP, obviously. The most telling part being House teasing Cuddy over the birth control pills. See, in any other context and for any other two characters, it probably would just be snark - what would a woman take that would rival the value of House's Vicodin to him? But the history behind these characters, including the whole babyarc, can't be ignored (I steadfastly refuse to believe that the writers slipped it in as a cheap joke, simply because they've never done something just because it's easy before), which means House surely isn't poking fun at Cuddy just because he can. Even he isn't that mean, right? I swear it's possible to fanwank an entire backroom relationship for them on the basis of that one line alone. I already have all kinds of little fic bunnies hopping around in my head - she's back on the pill because she's decided, after the miscarriage, that she isn't ready to try again, but well, clearly House knows she's taking the pills again, which means she told him, or he found out, presumably because they were about to schtup etc. Hee.
- Plus, the flirting is just out-of-this-world sexy. How could they not be ripping the clothes off each other during their spare time?!
PHOTO ESSAY #2 - OR, OMG THEY ARE THE ADORABLEST SHIP EVER!
[As if House doesn't know Cuddy could totally destroy his world by withholding sex, the two of them decide to have a battle to the death with Clairvoyant Guy - who will he pick as wearing the pants in their relationship!?]
Cuddy: Hi, I'm the Dean of Medicine. <-- Why yes, you are! I wonder if you tell House this when you've got him up against a wall and hopefully speechless, for once. Hee.
House: Hi, I'm the guy who saved your life.
Wilson: So what if it's House?
Foreman: Then I take the job at Mount Zion.
Wilson: There is no job at Mount Zion.
Foreman: House said...
Wilson: Well, if House said it, it must be true.
Cuddy: I can fire him. I can fire him now. I can fire him tomorrow. I don't even need a reason... except
teh hot table sex!
House: She doesn't fire me. She never will fire me, she needs me... for FLAMING HOT TABLE SEX...
Cuddy: He's a good doctor, that's all, I respect his expertise and I... REALLY just want to rip those godawful clothes off him right now
House: She's hot for me, always... <-- A THOUSAND FANGIRLS THUD AS THEIR IMAGINATIONS SOAR STRAIGHT INTO THE GUTTER
POTW: Shut up.
[Both House and Cuddy shut up, suitably chastened.] <-- How much do I love this shot? They're so cute when they've both been told to shut up!! Neither of them, of course, being the quiet sort, this must really piss them off...
Cuddy: Well, that could have been either of us. <-- HEE SO TRUE - it's all about the shut-up kisses, I say. We need a scene of H/C kissing each other silent (see below)
POTW: (to Cuddy) You have great yabos. <-- first squish-mittens now yabos? I swear I learn so much random slang for various parts of Cuddy's the female anatomy from this show.
[House knows he has SO pwned Cuddy. THIS IS SPARTA! PREPARE FOR GLORY!]
Cuddy: Still could have been either of us. <-- ROFL. I always imagined Cuddy was competitive, but not to this extent!! Hee.
House: You lose.
![](http://i211.photobucket.com/albums/bb243/ellixian/housecaps/house4x05-44.jpg)
Cuddy: Seriously! I have always thought my breasts were one of my best features! <-- No flip remarks here, because, for serious? LE/Cuddy is so friggin' gorgeous here.
Foreman: Damn!
[And cue, perhaps the cutest moment in House history ever, House performs his own version of a mating victory dance...]
![](http://i211.photobucket.com/albums/bb243/ellixian/housecaps/house4x05-46.jpg)
![](http://i211.photobucket.com/albums/bb243/ellixian/housecaps/house4x05-47.jpg)
![](http://i211.photobucket.com/albums/bb243/ellixian/housecaps/house4x05-48.jpg)
![](http://i211.photobucket.com/albums/bb243/ellixian/housecaps/house4x05-50.jpg)
Seriously man. SO MUCH TO LOVE ABOUT THIS SCENE. I know it's probably not the greatest moment for Cuddy professionally (in fact, if I were objective, I'd have hated her last line about her always thinking her breasts were one of her best features, because, hello, demeaning much?), but I don't care. It's adorable and that's all that matters. I'm totally fanwanking it anyway - they're in a patient's room, behind glass panelling, no one else can actually hear the conversation. So the only way for them to know House won is for House to challenge himself to a dance-off, which he did. In other words, therefore, Cuddy was TOTALLY flirting with him with the breasts comment. Honestly, how in love are House and Cuddy?!?! Plus, the scene struck me almost as a mix of House/Cuddy and Hugh and Lisa having a great time dorking out for the cameras - the goofy dance is SO PERFECT and SO HUGH, and Cuddy's inability to keep a smile off her face?? Surely LE is in there somewhere, cracking up.
And as promised - shut-up kisses! A random little drabble I wrote for a forum, following a discussion of who would kiss first to shut the other up. I decided they would BOTH do it.
Cuddy: Look at this list of malpractice cases. Ten in the last week, ten all filed against you. House, I know I set a legal team aside for you, but this is ridiculous.
House: You know, you'd think these people would be more appreciative and less trigger-happy with the lawsuits.
Cuddy: Ten cases, House, that's ten people who...
[He kisses her.]
[She pulls away.]
Cuddy: What the he...
House: Stop talking.
[He kisses her again.]
[She kisses back.]
[He pulls away.]
House: Guess I found the one way to shut you up after all. And to think I've spent the last five years annoying you instead. I should have just...
[She kisses him, fiercely.]
[He pulls away.]
House: Hey, now I feel like a cheap ten-dollar whore!
Cuddy: Shut up. This is payback.
[She grabs him by the collar and kisses him harder.]
SO SO HAPPY RIGHT NOW. Off to rewatch scenes until my computer groans in protest. Oh joy. JOY!