LJ Idol S11: Second Chance Week 2: Echo Chamber
The wet sand between her toes soothed her soul as she walked. “I guess it soothes my soles, too,” she mused as she continued down the beach and might have laughed if she hadn’t been in such a sour mood.
She and Ethan has had another stupid fight. All couple had fights like this, though. They were still solid, right? Of course. They always were. She loved him, he loved her. He was just being a dick right now.
She couldn’t believe Ethan had pulled this again, though. She told him weeks ago that she’d be taking more courses in nursing school this semester and would need the truck more often. And then he came home one night saying he took on more gigs. “Sorry babe, I really need the truck. And right now, that’s where the money comes from so... I need it more than you right now. You know how it is.”
“What happened to saving for another car? I thought you had like eight hundred dollars, and you were looking into a down payment in another six months or something?”
“Lauren says we'll earn more money with better amps. So I bought better amps. It’s an investment though, you know?”
“Lauren? So you bought brand new amps because the singer in your band said you should?"
"Well, yeah."
"How much of that do you have left?"
"Well, nothing, I told you, we needed good amps."
"And you didn't even ask me. I thought we were budgeting together, Ethan. Why are you taking financial advice from Lauren? What about me? I’m your fiancée!”
“I know you are, and I love you, and you know that,” he said. “But I mean, it’s the band. The music’s gotta come first, you know?”
“Yeah I know,” she had said. And then they'd kissed. And she came out here to take a walk. Why didn't she feel better though? And why was she always doing that? Always agreeing with him? Always being The Cool Girlfriend? She was so cool she’d even forgiven him for sleeping with Lauren three months ago, especially when he’d pointed out he’d already said sorry. And he had. And he was right, she couldn't just punish him forever, right? So she dropped it. Then he had proposed, so how could she stay mad?
And maybe if she saved up, canceled her Netflix and maybe tried to sell her old laptop or something, with enough things like that, she could get a down payment saved up for a car. That’s how they’d gotten the couch they needed. And the bed. And the truck, too, now that she thought about it. Well, ok, so if she did it before, she could absolutely do it again, and she’d be helping them both out. “I am a pretty cool girlfriend, he’s lucky to have me,” she said. “We’re lucky to have each other.” She tried to smile, but somehow she couldn’t bring herself to.
Her legs ached. She’d walked a while trying to walk off her frustration. She sat down in the sand and dug her toes in as she watched the tide.
The waves rolled in and out, over and over. The white foam rolled and changed, dancing over the sand. It was hot out, but the ocean breeze made it less stifling than it was at the apartment. Everything felt less stifling out of their apartment.
She sighed.
With the next roll of the ocean, a wave deposited a tiny shell. Oh that’s cool, she said and reached out and picked it up. She looked inside. She screamed and dropped it in the sand. Something had looked back! It wasn’t just a shell. It was a hermit crab! She laughed at herself and picked it back up. “Aw I’m sorry buddy, you startled me,” she said to it gently. Two tiny eyes moved independently as it evaluated the level of threat she posed.
“Oh shit, I’m scaring you, aren’t I? Ok I’m not going to eat you, no worries, go back to your little crab life. Don’t mind me!” She set the crab down and as she did so, it clamped itself tightly inside the shell. After she laid it down and just watched for a bit, the crab re-emerged and began walking along the wet sand. It walked a few steps, then dug a bit with its pincers. Then it walked a few more steps and did it again. A big log was not far off to the left. She looked down the beach in the opposite direction, and saw a flock of seagulls on the sand close to the water, pecking every time the waves rolled out.
“Let me help you a bit, ok buddy?” she asked the little crab.
She picked it up and took it to the log, which was quite large. There was a big shady spot right next to it, and tucked almost under it were several shells and some dried seaweed. She placed the crab gently in the shadow of the log and sat back and watched.
It waited. Then out it came, walked, felt around, walked, felt around. It approached a shell, and turned it over. The shell was a bit bigger than itself. Then it backed up away from it a couple steps. And it crawled right out of its shell!
She gasped then covered her mouth. She didn’t want to scare it! She didn’t know hermit crabs did this! She thought to herself that maybe she should’ve known... somehow? Because of course they grow, but..? She’d never thought of what they did when they grew. And now she saw... It dragged its tiny body confidently closer to the new shell it saw, backed itself into it and then... voila.
“You have a whole new look now, don’t you?!” she asked with an excited smile. “You were just carrying this?" she asked, and picked up the old shell. Empty. "And you just laid it down, huh? Because you needed a new, bigger layer. Well, congrats! It suits you much better, I'd say.” She touched her heart and sighed, so glad she got to see this.
She stood, swept her hands over her legs to wipe off the sand. And headed back to her apartment.
“Ethan,” she said when she walked in the door.
“Hey babe, what’s up?” he asked.
She reached for his hand, and he reached out to her. She placed the ring in his palm. “I don’t think this is working,” she said.
She and Ethan has had another stupid fight. All couple had fights like this, though. They were still solid, right? Of course. They always were. She loved him, he loved her. He was just being a dick right now.
She couldn’t believe Ethan had pulled this again, though. She told him weeks ago that she’d be taking more courses in nursing school this semester and would need the truck more often. And then he came home one night saying he took on more gigs. “Sorry babe, I really need the truck. And right now, that’s where the money comes from so... I need it more than you right now. You know how it is.”
“What happened to saving for another car? I thought you had like eight hundred dollars, and you were looking into a down payment in another six months or something?”
“Lauren says we'll earn more money with better amps. So I bought better amps. It’s an investment though, you know?”
“Lauren? So you bought brand new amps because the singer in your band said you should?"
"Well, yeah."
"How much of that do you have left?"
"Well, nothing, I told you, we needed good amps."
"And you didn't even ask me. I thought we were budgeting together, Ethan. Why are you taking financial advice from Lauren? What about me? I’m your fiancée!”
“I know you are, and I love you, and you know that,” he said. “But I mean, it’s the band. The music’s gotta come first, you know?”
“Yeah I know,” she had said. And then they'd kissed. And she came out here to take a walk. Why didn't she feel better though? And why was she always doing that? Always agreeing with him? Always being The Cool Girlfriend? She was so cool she’d even forgiven him for sleeping with Lauren three months ago, especially when he’d pointed out he’d already said sorry. And he had. And he was right, she couldn't just punish him forever, right? So she dropped it. Then he had proposed, so how could she stay mad?
And maybe if she saved up, canceled her Netflix and maybe tried to sell her old laptop or something, with enough things like that, she could get a down payment saved up for a car. That’s how they’d gotten the couch they needed. And the bed. And the truck, too, now that she thought about it. Well, ok, so if she did it before, she could absolutely do it again, and she’d be helping them both out. “I am a pretty cool girlfriend, he’s lucky to have me,” she said. “We’re lucky to have each other.” She tried to smile, but somehow she couldn’t bring herself to.
Her legs ached. She’d walked a while trying to walk off her frustration. She sat down in the sand and dug her toes in as she watched the tide.
The waves rolled in and out, over and over. The white foam rolled and changed, dancing over the sand. It was hot out, but the ocean breeze made it less stifling than it was at the apartment. Everything felt less stifling out of their apartment.
She sighed.
With the next roll of the ocean, a wave deposited a tiny shell. Oh that’s cool, she said and reached out and picked it up. She looked inside. She screamed and dropped it in the sand. Something had looked back! It wasn’t just a shell. It was a hermit crab! She laughed at herself and picked it back up. “Aw I’m sorry buddy, you startled me,” she said to it gently. Two tiny eyes moved independently as it evaluated the level of threat she posed.
“Oh shit, I’m scaring you, aren’t I? Ok I’m not going to eat you, no worries, go back to your little crab life. Don’t mind me!” She set the crab down and as she did so, it clamped itself tightly inside the shell. After she laid it down and just watched for a bit, the crab re-emerged and began walking along the wet sand. It walked a few steps, then dug a bit with its pincers. Then it walked a few more steps and did it again. A big log was not far off to the left. She looked down the beach in the opposite direction, and saw a flock of seagulls on the sand close to the water, pecking every time the waves rolled out.
“Let me help you a bit, ok buddy?” she asked the little crab.
She picked it up and took it to the log, which was quite large. There was a big shady spot right next to it, and tucked almost under it were several shells and some dried seaweed. She placed the crab gently in the shadow of the log and sat back and watched.
It waited. Then out it came, walked, felt around, walked, felt around. It approached a shell, and turned it over. The shell was a bit bigger than itself. Then it backed up away from it a couple steps. And it crawled right out of its shell!
She gasped then covered her mouth. She didn’t want to scare it! She didn’t know hermit crabs did this! She thought to herself that maybe she should’ve known... somehow? Because of course they grow, but..? She’d never thought of what they did when they grew. And now she saw... It dragged its tiny body confidently closer to the new shell it saw, backed itself into it and then... voila.
“You have a whole new look now, don’t you?!” she asked with an excited smile. “You were just carrying this?" she asked, and picked up the old shell. Empty. "And you just laid it down, huh? Because you needed a new, bigger layer. Well, congrats! It suits you much better, I'd say.” She touched her heart and sighed, so glad she got to see this.
She stood, swept her hands over her legs to wipe off the sand. And headed back to her apartment.
“Ethan,” she said when she walked in the door.
“Hey babe, what’s up?” he asked.
She reached for his hand, and he reached out to her. She placed the ring in his palm. “I don’t think this is working,” she said.