Fic: The Forsaken (Charles/Eloise)

Jun 05, 2009 12:14

Title: The Forsaken (1/6)
Characters: Charles/Eloise, Ensemble
Disclaimer: Lost is not mine. Seriously? Seriously.
Rating: PG13
Words: 1900
Spoilers: Up to The Incident
Summary: It starts and ends with a prophecy, but there’s really nothing divine about the mess Charles and Eloise made over the course of sixty-five years. Many thanks to angeldylan628 for her ( Read more... )

fic: charles/eloise, fic: series - the forsaken

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janie_tangerine June 5 2009, 21:52:01 UTC
Kudos to you for actually making me care about these two. Because now I'm hooked. ;)

This was such an intriguing start. I loved how you had them come to the island and how it actually mirrored their canon stories. Actually,

It was the first of Charles’s great plans and not the last to involve waging war to claim a piece a land he thought belonged to him.

I completely chuckled at this because that's totally so true. I was like, 'ah, poor Charles', and then I was like, 'WHAT did I just say?' and that just shows that this is seriously good. I loved Richard in this, and how they ended up deciding that Eloise would have been their next leader. Aw, poor Charles, everyone is taking the leadership from him even back then. I loved your young!Eloise actually, and I really liked how she started bonding with Charles. In the second section I really liked the part about her worrying about not being taken seriously and their dialogue was very plausible. And ha, yay for referencing twitchy scientists, murderers and crazy old men, I loved how you vowed canon in there. And their bantering in the end was pretty sweet, I loved how you could feel the romantic tension building up. Uhm, this really was good. And I'm hooked. ;)

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elliotsmelliot June 6 2009, 15:02:25 UTC
Ha! I actually don't care very much for either of them, which will hopefully allow me to get messy with them. But yes, between the two, Charles is the one that I lean toward caring for, even though he is the bigger monster. I'm glad I got you hooked! Thanks for reading and commenting!

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