Rediscovering the X-Files: A Photo Essay
Catching up on S1 of Fringe recently did more than simply fill the speculative fiction hole in my TV schedule. Watching Olivia and the Bishops race against time to solve supernatural mysteries was awfully familiar and yet not. It filled me with a certain nostalgia that led me to be reunited with my past love and first fandom experience, The X-Files.
In the last few months, I decided to re-watch my favourite XF episodes from my favourite seasons S3-S6. For the most part the experience was like reaching into my closet and finding my favourite old jeans still fit. Scully! Mulder! Skinner! Samantha! The Gunmen! Krycek! Marita! CSM! Grrr Fowley! Grrr Bill Scully! It is amazing what I had forgotten. I used to know every detail of the mytharc. I knew dialogue by heart, some of which came back as I watched. I also discovered a few things about myself that I had forgotten. I thought I would share the highlights of my passionate trip down memory lane, including my crushes, my favourite episodes, my fandom lie, and some fic recs. Please be warned, there are spoilery references.
The Beginning
Mulder: Sorry, nobody down here but the FBI's most unwanted.
Scully: Agent Mulder. I'm Dana Scully. I've been assigned to work with you.
Mulder: Oh, isn't it nice to be suddenly so highly regarded. So who did you tick off to get stuck with this detail, Scully?
Scully: Actually, I'm looking forward to working with you. I've heard a lot about you.
Mulder: Oh, really... I was under the impression that you were sent to spy on me.
I fell in love with the X-Files in 1997 during my second year of university, midway through the airing of S4. I believe my interest in the show was sparked by an EW cover story. I watched the show obsessively that year and caught up with old episodes as best I could in an era where downloading, Netflix and DVD box sets did not exist. Eventually I tracked down every episode and for the next three years, I was captivated.
My interest in XF faded in mid to late S7, around the time it became clear the mytharc, which held so much of my interest, had become a tired enigma wrapped in a convoluted conundrum. Coupled with the post-S7 loss of Mulder, who for me represented much of the urgency and drive for storytelling, everything from Requiem onward fell flat. I stuck it out through most of S8 and then just stopped watching.
When I quit a show, I usually go cold turkey. No more fic. No more re-watching beloved old episodes. It’s almost like everything good that I loved before is tainted by my disappointment. I taped the series finale but watched it in fast forward. Up until recently, I never saw the second movie. With the exception of watching The Ghosts Who Stole Christmas a few times, I had not seen an episode in twelve years.
If Princess Leia was my childhood heroine, Scully was my first grown-up girl crush
Scully: Please explain to me the scientific nature of the whammy?
During my first time watching XF, Scully was a revelation to me and still remains so today. She is a scientist and a scholar. She values critical thinking. She is determined, loyal, and brave. These are all things I’ve always strived toward. I remember buying a navy blue pants suit after graduation, ostensibly for an interview, but also because I felt I could capture some of Scully’s authority and character while wearing it.
Watching the episodes again, I still love her so much and I’m bothered by the way Scully never got as much respect from story or Mulder. In the span of episodes I re-watched, Mulder frequently dismissed Scully’s opinion or abandoned her or generally made it all about him! I wish Scully would have called Mulder on his shit more often. But I also respect that she is not a drama queen. Back in the 1990s, when I was not so confident about my feminism, I remember thinking something was wrong about how often the stories placed her in vulnerable situations based on her gender. (This time around the number of cases dealing with rape or attempted rape really bothered me, especially since it was really only a backdrop for something else or used in the playful episodes like Small Potatoes or Post-Modern Prometheus.)
At the same time Scully’s directness and fierceness led the way for other strong heroines. I’m still in awe at how little Scully barks orders and get things done and frequently saves her partner from doing something stupid.
My favourite Scully episodes: Christmas Carol and Momento Mori
Oh Mulder
Maurice: Cause you're a lonely man. A lonely man chasing paramasturbatory illusions that you believe will give your life meaning and significance and which your pathetic social maladjustment makes impossible for you to find elsewhere. You probably consider yourself passionate, serious, misunderstood. Am I right?
I think Maurice nails Mulder with this unflattering observation. Yet in spite of his self absorbed and asshole behaviour, I truly liked and cared for him. He charmed me with his unmasked vulnerability and willingness to do anything to find the truth. I admit to then and now being swept away by the handsome rebel persona, but I also appreciated his wit and snark. I loved him best as a frantic brother and dedicated partner. When it mattered, he was always there for Scully.
My favourite Mulder episode: Paper Hearts (This was also the first episode I ever saw!)
Remember how many times I claimed not to be a shipper? Apparently I lied!
Mulder: You... were my friend, and you told me the truth.
Even when the world was falling apart, you were my constant*... my touchstone.
Scully: And you are mine.
I loved XF for a lot of reasons, and a big one was because I completely believed that Mulder and Scully belonged together and the series was their journey to that point. Don’t dare tell me otherwise! Seeing the episodes again made me realize how much squee (before I knew that word existed) poured out of me at every little touch, remark, special look or near kiss (damn bee!). If anything can be said about the progress of the series after I stopped watching, at least it ended with them together. So yeah, when it comes to Mulder and Scully, I am totally a shipper.
*Ahem, Darlton, before Penny and Desmond claimed that word, Mulder and Scully were the ultimate constants; their one in five billion.
My favourite shippy episode: Redux II
In XF, Crack is Canon
Mulder: Yeah, I had a praying mantis epiphany and, as a result, I screamed. No, not... not a girlie scream, but the scream of someone being confronted by some before unknown monster that had no right existing on the same planet I inhabited. Did you ever notice how a praying mantis' head resembles an alien's head? I mean, the mysteries of the natural world were revealed to me that day, but instead of being astounded, I was... repulsed.
Scully: Mulder... are you sure it wasn't a girlie scream?
I loved the mixture of genres that X-Files played with. What other show went from jolly to terrifying to silly to perplexing week to week? I love that XF had such a tongue in cheek sense of humour that gently mocked its premise and stars. Now that I can no longer take mytharc episodes seriously, I think the lighter episodes are my favourites. Waterbeds! Alex Trebek as a Man in black! Luke Wilson’s buck teeth! Cher! Time travelling Nazis! Baseball! Rob and Laura Petrie! The geek! Bambi! Sure. Fine Whatever.
My favourite humour episode: Bad Blood - this may be my favourite episode of all time.
Things that go bump in the night
Mrs. Peacock: I can tell you don't have no children. Maybe one day you'll learn...
the pride... the love... when you know your boy will do anything for his mother.
Despite being funny quite often, the XF is the only TV show to ever give me chills. It’s maybe best that I did not start watching in S1 and S2 with all those classic monster of the week episodes - The Fluke worm, Tombs, the Eves. I may have been scared off. I remember watching Duane Barry late one night when my husband was out of town. Bad idea. The scenes of his alien abduction really freaked me out. After the episode was over, I turned off the TV and sat frozen on the couch. I was scared to walk to my bedroom in the dark. While I was trying to sum up the courage, out of nowhere the TV turned on by itself. Yikes! Needless to say, I did not sleep well that night.
In my re-watch I was most disturbed by the concept, violence and imagery in Home. I would write more but I don’t even want to think about it!
My favourite scary episode: Duane Barry (1990s) and Home (now).
The Truth is Out There: Philosophy 101
Jose Chung: And though we may not be alone in the universe, in our own separate ways, on this planet we are all alone.
I was quite taken by how the series explored the concept of truth. I am referring more to the narrative technique than the literal truth Mulder so desperately sought. XF was full of unreliable narrators, from Chris Carter himself to the CSM. As a history student then and a historian now, I appreciate how storytelling on XF frequently sifted through evidence, memory and agendas to show how difficult it is to find out what happened.
Jose Chung from Outer Space is a great example of this narrative play. Here we see a variety of different perspectives answering what happened to Chrissy and Harold, two kids driving home one night who had an experience hat changed their lives. Was it pre-marital sex? Date rape? Alien Abduction? Faked Alien Abuction? Real + fake alien abduction? Is Scully a mandroid? We’ll never know for sure! But it made for entertaining and provocative viewing. If I ever teach a course on Historical Narratives, I would show that episode.
My favourite thoughtful episode: Jose Chung from Outer Space
From Gossamer to Sparky’s Doghouse to RaTales
Scully: It's a good story, Mulder, and very well told, but I don't believe it.
Re-watching the series triggered nostalgia for XF fic too. As much as I enjoyed writing and reading Lost fic, the culture of that fandom was very different that what I knew before. If I had to generalize, most Lost fic are relatively short introspective character or romantic pieces. There is nothing wrong with that, and I can understand why people avoided writing plot driven stories, especially ones that delved in the murky island mythology. Still I missed the variety of story types and the long, often novel length size of stories commonly found in XF fic, at least when I was around in the late 1990s.
I also loved the breadth of XF “gen” fic which included subgenres such as horror, supernatural, AU, sci-fi, adventure, conspiracy-driven, humour etc. My favourite fic were the post-apocalyptic stories that took place after the predicted alien invasion. I also liked that many of these complex plotty stories wove in romantic elements too.
My memory is not great, but a few fics still stand out after all these years. One memorable series was Rachel Anton’s World Without End, an exciting post-invasion tale that presented a realistic context for a Scully/Krycek relationship, while still respecting the Mulder/Scully connection. I also really loved Torch’s classic Mulder/Krycek story Ghosts which I think was the first slash story I really loved.
I only ever wrote three of my own fic (under a different name), an AU story, a Krycek-centric series (featuring *gasp* a Mary-Sue original character) and a short humour piece. In looking over some XF fic sites on LJ, I was shocked to find my very first fic being recommended. I re-read it and was pleasantly surprised to feel it held up well.
Speaking of Krycek...
Krycek: Well, look who's answering the bat-phone..
So you can see from those above fic recommendations, I was totally a Krycek fangirl. Even so much that as a Mulder/Scully shipper I’m remembering Mulder/Krycek and Scully/Krycek stories before anything else. Yup, I was captivated by Alex Krycek, especially in S4-S6 when he was at his unpredictable best as a triple agent and solo player. And he is oh so hot, especially when he is being beaten by Mulder and Skinner or speaking Russian or leering at Mulder or fucking Marita or kissing Mulder. I expected upon my re-watching to be less impressed with him, believing to be embarrassed by giddy younger self. But no, I fell completely under his spell again. If I had a fic muse anymore I would be tempted to write a XF/Lost crossover where Alex meets Richard Alpert.
My favourite Krycek episode: The Red and the Black & Patient X
So there you have it! My little trip down X-Files memory lane. You can go home again, but just not to the Peacock residence.
In the last few months, I decided to re-watch my favourite XF episodes from my favourite seasons S3-S6. For the most part the experience was like reaching into my closet and finding my favourite old jeans still fit. Scully! Mulder! Skinner! Samantha! The Gunmen! Krycek! Marita! CSM! Grrr Fowley! Grrr Bill Scully! It is amazing what I had forgotten. I used to know every detail of the mytharc. I knew dialogue by heart, some of which came back as I watched. I also discovered a few things about myself that I had forgotten. I thought I would share the highlights of my passionate trip down memory lane, including my crushes, my favourite episodes, my fandom lie, and some fic recs. Please be warned, there are spoilery references.
The Beginning
Mulder: Sorry, nobody down here but the FBI's most unwanted.
Scully: Agent Mulder. I'm Dana Scully. I've been assigned to work with you.
Mulder: Oh, isn't it nice to be suddenly so highly regarded. So who did you tick off to get stuck with this detail, Scully?
Scully: Actually, I'm looking forward to working with you. I've heard a lot about you.
Mulder: Oh, really... I was under the impression that you were sent to spy on me.
I fell in love with the X-Files in 1997 during my second year of university, midway through the airing of S4. I believe my interest in the show was sparked by an EW cover story. I watched the show obsessively that year and caught up with old episodes as best I could in an era where downloading, Netflix and DVD box sets did not exist. Eventually I tracked down every episode and for the next three years, I was captivated.
My interest in XF faded in mid to late S7, around the time it became clear the mytharc, which held so much of my interest, had become a tired enigma wrapped in a convoluted conundrum. Coupled with the post-S7 loss of Mulder, who for me represented much of the urgency and drive for storytelling, everything from Requiem onward fell flat. I stuck it out through most of S8 and then just stopped watching.
When I quit a show, I usually go cold turkey. No more fic. No more re-watching beloved old episodes. It’s almost like everything good that I loved before is tainted by my disappointment. I taped the series finale but watched it in fast forward. Up until recently, I never saw the second movie. With the exception of watching The Ghosts Who Stole Christmas a few times, I had not seen an episode in twelve years.
If Princess Leia was my childhood heroine, Scully was my first grown-up girl crush
Scully: Please explain to me the scientific nature of the whammy?
During my first time watching XF, Scully was a revelation to me and still remains so today. She is a scientist and a scholar. She values critical thinking. She is determined, loyal, and brave. These are all things I’ve always strived toward. I remember buying a navy blue pants suit after graduation, ostensibly for an interview, but also because I felt I could capture some of Scully’s authority and character while wearing it.
Watching the episodes again, I still love her so much and I’m bothered by the way Scully never got as much respect from story or Mulder. In the span of episodes I re-watched, Mulder frequently dismissed Scully’s opinion or abandoned her or generally made it all about him! I wish Scully would have called Mulder on his shit more often. But I also respect that she is not a drama queen. Back in the 1990s, when I was not so confident about my feminism, I remember thinking something was wrong about how often the stories placed her in vulnerable situations based on her gender. (This time around the number of cases dealing with rape or attempted rape really bothered me, especially since it was really only a backdrop for something else or used in the playful episodes like Small Potatoes or Post-Modern Prometheus.)
At the same time Scully’s directness and fierceness led the way for other strong heroines. I’m still in awe at how little Scully barks orders and get things done and frequently saves her partner from doing something stupid.
My favourite Scully episodes: Christmas Carol and Momento Mori
Oh Mulder
Maurice: Cause you're a lonely man. A lonely man chasing paramasturbatory illusions that you believe will give your life meaning and significance and which your pathetic social maladjustment makes impossible for you to find elsewhere. You probably consider yourself passionate, serious, misunderstood. Am I right?
I think Maurice nails Mulder with this unflattering observation. Yet in spite of his self absorbed and asshole behaviour, I truly liked and cared for him. He charmed me with his unmasked vulnerability and willingness to do anything to find the truth. I admit to then and now being swept away by the handsome rebel persona, but I also appreciated his wit and snark. I loved him best as a frantic brother and dedicated partner. When it mattered, he was always there for Scully.
My favourite Mulder episode: Paper Hearts (This was also the first episode I ever saw!)
Remember how many times I claimed not to be a shipper? Apparently I lied!
Mulder: You... were my friend, and you told me the truth.
Even when the world was falling apart, you were my constant*... my touchstone.
Scully: And you are mine.
I loved XF for a lot of reasons, and a big one was because I completely believed that Mulder and Scully belonged together and the series was their journey to that point. Don’t dare tell me otherwise! Seeing the episodes again made me realize how much squee (before I knew that word existed) poured out of me at every little touch, remark, special look or near kiss (damn bee!). If anything can be said about the progress of the series after I stopped watching, at least it ended with them together. So yeah, when it comes to Mulder and Scully, I am totally a shipper.
*Ahem, Darlton, before Penny and Desmond claimed that word, Mulder and Scully were the ultimate constants; their one in five billion.
My favourite shippy episode: Redux II
In XF, Crack is Canon
Mulder: Yeah, I had a praying mantis epiphany and, as a result, I screamed. No, not... not a girlie scream, but the scream of someone being confronted by some before unknown monster that had no right existing on the same planet I inhabited. Did you ever notice how a praying mantis' head resembles an alien's head? I mean, the mysteries of the natural world were revealed to me that day, but instead of being astounded, I was... repulsed.
Scully: Mulder... are you sure it wasn't a girlie scream?
I loved the mixture of genres that X-Files played with. What other show went from jolly to terrifying to silly to perplexing week to week? I love that XF had such a tongue in cheek sense of humour that gently mocked its premise and stars. Now that I can no longer take mytharc episodes seriously, I think the lighter episodes are my favourites. Waterbeds! Alex Trebek as a Man in black! Luke Wilson’s buck teeth! Cher! Time travelling Nazis! Baseball! Rob and Laura Petrie! The geek! Bambi! Sure. Fine Whatever.
My favourite humour episode: Bad Blood - this may be my favourite episode of all time.
Things that go bump in the night
Mrs. Peacock: I can tell you don't have no children. Maybe one day you'll learn...
the pride... the love... when you know your boy will do anything for his mother.
Despite being funny quite often, the XF is the only TV show to ever give me chills. It’s maybe best that I did not start watching in S1 and S2 with all those classic monster of the week episodes - The Fluke worm, Tombs, the Eves. I may have been scared off. I remember watching Duane Barry late one night when my husband was out of town. Bad idea. The scenes of his alien abduction really freaked me out. After the episode was over, I turned off the TV and sat frozen on the couch. I was scared to walk to my bedroom in the dark. While I was trying to sum up the courage, out of nowhere the TV turned on by itself. Yikes! Needless to say, I did not sleep well that night.
In my re-watch I was most disturbed by the concept, violence and imagery in Home. I would write more but I don’t even want to think about it!
My favourite scary episode: Duane Barry (1990s) and Home (now).
The Truth is Out There: Philosophy 101
Jose Chung: And though we may not be alone in the universe, in our own separate ways, on this planet we are all alone.
I was quite taken by how the series explored the concept of truth. I am referring more to the narrative technique than the literal truth Mulder so desperately sought. XF was full of unreliable narrators, from Chris Carter himself to the CSM. As a history student then and a historian now, I appreciate how storytelling on XF frequently sifted through evidence, memory and agendas to show how difficult it is to find out what happened.
Jose Chung from Outer Space is a great example of this narrative play. Here we see a variety of different perspectives answering what happened to Chrissy and Harold, two kids driving home one night who had an experience hat changed their lives. Was it pre-marital sex? Date rape? Alien Abduction? Faked Alien Abuction? Real + fake alien abduction? Is Scully a mandroid? We’ll never know for sure! But it made for entertaining and provocative viewing. If I ever teach a course on Historical Narratives, I would show that episode.
My favourite thoughtful episode: Jose Chung from Outer Space
From Gossamer to Sparky’s Doghouse to RaTales
Scully: It's a good story, Mulder, and very well told, but I don't believe it.
Re-watching the series triggered nostalgia for XF fic too. As much as I enjoyed writing and reading Lost fic, the culture of that fandom was very different that what I knew before. If I had to generalize, most Lost fic are relatively short introspective character or romantic pieces. There is nothing wrong with that, and I can understand why people avoided writing plot driven stories, especially ones that delved in the murky island mythology. Still I missed the variety of story types and the long, often novel length size of stories commonly found in XF fic, at least when I was around in the late 1990s.
I also loved the breadth of XF “gen” fic which included subgenres such as horror, supernatural, AU, sci-fi, adventure, conspiracy-driven, humour etc. My favourite fic were the post-apocalyptic stories that took place after the predicted alien invasion. I also liked that many of these complex plotty stories wove in romantic elements too.
My memory is not great, but a few fics still stand out after all these years. One memorable series was Rachel Anton’s World Without End, an exciting post-invasion tale that presented a realistic context for a Scully/Krycek relationship, while still respecting the Mulder/Scully connection. I also really loved Torch’s classic Mulder/Krycek story Ghosts which I think was the first slash story I really loved.
I only ever wrote three of my own fic (under a different name), an AU story, a Krycek-centric series (featuring *gasp* a Mary-Sue original character) and a short humour piece. In looking over some XF fic sites on LJ, I was shocked to find my very first fic being recommended. I re-read it and was pleasantly surprised to feel it held up well.
Speaking of Krycek...
Krycek: Well, look who's answering the bat-phone..
So you can see from those above fic recommendations, I was totally a Krycek fangirl. Even so much that as a Mulder/Scully shipper I’m remembering Mulder/Krycek and Scully/Krycek stories before anything else. Yup, I was captivated by Alex Krycek, especially in S4-S6 when he was at his unpredictable best as a triple agent and solo player. And he is oh so hot, especially when he is being beaten by Mulder and Skinner or speaking Russian or leering at Mulder or fucking Marita or kissing Mulder. I expected upon my re-watching to be less impressed with him, believing to be embarrassed by giddy younger self. But no, I fell completely under his spell again. If I had a fic muse anymore I would be tempted to write a XF/Lost crossover where Alex meets Richard Alpert.
My favourite Krycek episode: The Red and the Black & Patient X
So there you have it! My little trip down X-Files memory lane. You can go home again, but just not to the Peacock residence.