So tired...
It may sound strange, but I am tired of my ability to understand people, events, emotions, situations. Understanding is a fine thing, it helps, it makes you see many things. But when you always understand things as a whole, people as whole, accept life as whole, it can sometimes turn into a birden.
I feel like Enoch Wallace in one of the chapters of "Way Station" - helpless, because no matter what I say, my words won't have any effect. People have to learn to understand by themselves, and I can only watch how they search for that understanding. And it hurts, when people I care about suffer needlessly, blame themselves, look for truth in the wrong places, stumble when the road is smooth. Hell, I've been there myself, and I know and understand. But maybe there's too much understanding in me, too much knowing. I've been given the mirror of Galadriel, but I'm not one of those whom I see, and I have no other option but to watch how events unravel.
I see. I care. And I have to keep silent. I have to let others find their own way to understanding.
I feel like Enoch Wallace in one of the chapters of "Way Station" - helpless, because no matter what I say, my words won't have any effect. People have to learn to understand by themselves, and I can only watch how they search for that understanding. And it hurts, when people I care about suffer needlessly, blame themselves, look for truth in the wrong places, stumble when the road is smooth. Hell, I've been there myself, and I know and understand. But maybe there's too much understanding in me, too much knowing. I've been given the mirror of Galadriel, but I'm not one of those whom I see, and I have no other option but to watch how events unravel.
I see. I care. And I have to keep silent. I have to let others find their own way to understanding.