FF: Faith

[elliestories]

Title: Faith
Author: Ellie
Rating: PG
Notes: Written for the housefic_pens drabble challenge, in a series of three, 100-word pieces. I’ve written neither Chase nor drabbles before, so comments and concrit are appreciated.

Comments

[namasteyoga]

Well done, and I can imagine Chase's father as being someone who would give a scientific response to a child's question, and his father's death being something that could drive him back to the church.

The only concrit I might give would be to tweak the second sentence in the final drabble, because it almost reads as if his father had come to the chapel, when you say "here" rather than PPTH or the hospital -- or maybe that is what you meant. But then there's a lot of information to get across with minimal words, and it's not a big issue.

[elliestories]

Thank you very much, particularly for the suggestion on "here." It's a minor tweak that goes a long way.

[pwcorgigirl]

Ah, these are lovely. You've beautifully captured Chase's estrangement from his faith and his father, his bewilderment, and that first tentative step back. You've packed a lot into just 300 words.

The last time he spoke to God was after her funeral, and it has been a furious, one-sided conversation. This line rings absolutely true. I've had a few of those conversations with God myself after funerals.

[elliestories]

He just seems so lost sometimes, but in those little ways that slip right past.

I've known too many people who've had those conversations.

[clarkangel]

This was beautiful, the way you connected his faith with his childhood and his father and his growing up and growing apart with both father and faith.

I love it.

[npkedit]

Wonderful portrayal of Chase, and in only 300 words--color me impressed. I think you totally nailed Chase's relationship with his dad--and its effect upon his faith.

I do agree with Namaste about altering that second sentence though--it's a tad ambiguous.

Hope you write more Chase fic!

[elliestories]

Thanks! It wasn't the easiest thing to write, but I was really drawn in the more I thought on it, and leaves me thinking that I may do more with Chase in the future.

[wildcatlizzie]

This was so lovely. It reminds me so much of my relationship with God. I just have one problem... what does the Latin translate to?

[elliestories]

It's the first line of the requiem, and depending on whose translation of the Latin you're using, is roughly "grant them eternal rest, Lord."