(no subject)
So heres the update of my stupid life:
2 weeks ago was me and shuan's little half a year anniversery dealio. I was sick so I didnt see him, and then that night he told me he was confused about everything with us. like that we've been together for so long and its just scary and he needs time off. I didnt really take that too well of course because i never take anything well.
so anyway during our "break" its been pretty off and on. some times he'll be soooo sweet to me and come over and kiss me and such, and other times he just seems to be tired of me and irritated.
so last night i asked him if he missed "us" and he said "not really, not right now" which really hurt my feelings i guess because i figured i meant enough to him to be missed after 2 weeks. so then i asked him "do you just want to go out and like try to find chicks and if they dont come around THEN come back to me" and that caused a huge fight.
the only difference between what we have and what we had is that he can hook up with other girls now, so i just wanted to see if like..thats all he cared about or if he really didnt want me..or something like that.
so anyway i asked him if he loved me and he said "maybe i dont". well that hit me HARD.
Then i asked him what he wanted and he said to be apart. like competely apart. like dont try to talk to him or anything. I can't do that. I care about him more than anything. He told me he didnt care about me anymore. I just can't believe it. so then he told me not to call him, text him, anything. that really pissed me off so i said "HAHA like i want to contact someone whos going to treat me like a piece of shit shuan dont kid yourself". then he got offline and I called jane. basically she kinda talked me through stuff and I realized that by saying that I was no better than him and that i was just putting up a tough guy front. so i called him and left messages and stuff. and nothing.
this morning i felt so sick my head was pounding so i didnt go to school.
i feel like shit and i don't know what to do. he would always tell me that i meant the world to him and without me he had nothing but now hes just shoving me around and picking me up whenever its convient for him.
grr
2 weeks ago was me and shuan's little half a year anniversery dealio. I was sick so I didnt see him, and then that night he told me he was confused about everything with us. like that we've been together for so long and its just scary and he needs time off. I didnt really take that too well of course because i never take anything well.
so anyway during our "break" its been pretty off and on. some times he'll be soooo sweet to me and come over and kiss me and such, and other times he just seems to be tired of me and irritated.
so last night i asked him if he missed "us" and he said "not really, not right now" which really hurt my feelings i guess because i figured i meant enough to him to be missed after 2 weeks. so then i asked him "do you just want to go out and like try to find chicks and if they dont come around THEN come back to me" and that caused a huge fight.
the only difference between what we have and what we had is that he can hook up with other girls now, so i just wanted to see if like..thats all he cared about or if he really didnt want me..or something like that.
so anyway i asked him if he loved me and he said "maybe i dont". well that hit me HARD.
Then i asked him what he wanted and he said to be apart. like competely apart. like dont try to talk to him or anything. I can't do that. I care about him more than anything. He told me he didnt care about me anymore. I just can't believe it. so then he told me not to call him, text him, anything. that really pissed me off so i said "HAHA like i want to contact someone whos going to treat me like a piece of shit shuan dont kid yourself". then he got offline and I called jane. basically she kinda talked me through stuff and I realized that by saying that I was no better than him and that i was just putting up a tough guy front. so i called him and left messages and stuff. and nothing.
this morning i felt so sick my head was pounding so i didnt go to school.
i feel like shit and i don't know what to do. he would always tell me that i meant the world to him and without me he had nothing but now hes just shoving me around and picking me up whenever its convient for him.
grr