Fic #16: Bertie Bott's Adult Selection
Title: Bertie Bott's Adult Selection
Pairing: Snape/Lupin
Rating: NC-17
Summary: Remus can't resist the treats Severus confiscated. Oops.
“What are these?” Remus picked up the small paper bag from Severus’s dresser and shook. It made a sound like dried lentils being poured into a stockpot.
Severus, stripped to his briefs, wadded his teaching robe into a tight ball and lobbed it at the hamper. “The latest selection from Bertie Botts. One of the upper form Gryffindors was trying to persuade two Hufflepuff girls that they were perfectly harmless, and actually nutritious if one was lucky enough to choose the vegetable or fruit flavors.” The robe disappeared into the white enamel box, which slammed shut and began to hum as the purification spells activated. “And before you start defending the Gryffindor, these particular Hufflepuffs are both on a sugar-restricted diet while Poppy works on a metabolic disorder.”
“Diabetes?” The beans were smaller than the regular Botts product, with a glittery sheen that matched the festive red and green swirls on the bag. Remus poured a few out into his hand and sniffed.
“Got it in one.” Severus stretched both arms over his head and sighed as his lower spine clicked into place. He rotated first one shoulder, then the other, and shook his hair free of the dissolving net he had worn during the late afternoon NEWTs lab session. “It takes a few months for the body to adjust to the magical treatment, you know. Add in that both girls are disgustingly fond of cream buns and have mothers who use food as a substitute for love, and you have a disaster waiting to happen.”
“So much for a harmless Christmas treat, I suppose.” Red beans, russet beans, deep green beans, beige-gold beans - Remus tried to remember what color went with what flavor, and failed. He sniffed again and smelled sugar and the faintest trace of food coloring. “They’re probably all the dreadful ones, too. I got a vomit one once, you know.”
Severus snorted and sat down on his bed. It was one of the school-issue four posters, huge and dark and more than adequate for two adults, unlike the tiny futon at Remus’s flat. He accio’d his hairbrush and began working the last traces of netting from his hair. “One of my classmates at dame school talked me into eating half a bag of the chocolate-flavored senna type. I was sick for a week.”
It was all too easy to imagine Severus, undersized and overeducated, being the scapegoat even before arriving at Hogwarts. No wonder he had learned so many hexes so young. “They do carry ‘every flavor’ to an extreme, don’t they? These seem safe, though.” Remus separated out the red beans and popped first one, then the rest into his mouth. “Oh, these are nice. Wild strawberry. Would you like some?”
“Those are evidence, Lupin!” Severus slapped the hairbrush onto his nightstand and crossed the room to stand beside him, close enough to touch. He reached across the dresser for the bag.
Remus scooped up the russet beans, which were almost red in the candlelight, and ate the entire handful. They were tart but not unpleasant, and left a lovely warm burn as they slid down his throat. “Evidence of what?” He ran his tongue across his teeth to remove any trace of sugar shell and grinned. “Here, try the others. Two flavors, and I’ll bet they’re both good.”
“You’re incorrigible.” Severus swept the remaining beans back into the foil bag and sealed it with a charm. “Minerva will want to see those, or what’s left after you’ve spoiled your appetite. She does expect us for dinner tonight.”
The room was almost too warm despite the winter’s cold outside. Far better to be naked, and what was the point of being a wizard unless one could accomplish just that with a single word? Remus shivered as his clothes disappeared and delicately licked the cool, slightly sweaty skin just below Severus’s left ear. Clean sweat, sage, false ambergris, allspice, musk, brine - Just what had the NEWTs class brewed today? “There’s nothing wrong with my appetite, love. Nothing at all.”
Severus jerked slightly at the first touch of bare skin on bare skin, then yelped as Remus suddenly wrapped both arms around him and half-dragged, half-carried him to the bed. “What - Minerva - Remus, what the hell are you doing? I need to get dressed - “
A long thorough, wet kiss swallowed the remaining words. Remus pulled free just enough to mutter ”divestimento” before returning to the much more important task of drawing his tongue across every inch of that long, lean body. Severus gasped, wild-eyed, and grabbed at his shoulders as Remus worked his way down to all the lovely spots that drove him mad.
“Not dressed anymore, are you?” He ran his hands through the messy black hair and drank in the sight of Severus splayed against the fresh white linens, panting and flushed and anything but suited for dinner with the Headmistress. I did this to him. No one else. Only me. God, I’m a lucky man! “Minerva can wait.”
“Remus - “ Another gasp crescendo’d into a long, rising groan as Remus nibbled his way across his breastbone from one nipple to the other. “God, do that again, that’s wonderful - she’s not going to - “
Two whispered spells, and he had wrapped those sinewy legs around his waist and plunged inside before Severus had time to breathe. “She - she can wait - “
Severus arched beneath him with a wordless cry, and he knew he’d hit the right spot. He shuddered as the thin fingers dug into his back. “No choice - don’t stop don’t stop - “
And then it was too much for words as he found his rhythm and began thrusting in earnest. Severus clung to him in a death grip and thrust back, his voice ragged as he begged for moremoremoredamnitmore, and far too soon it was over and they lay tangled and stunned across the ancient bed.
Remus lifted his head and brushed his lips across a stray lock of sweaty black hair. “Thank you. I don’t know what came over me, but that was wonderful.”
“I do.” Severus smiled, one of the rare, lazy smiles that only Remus saw. He gently traced the line of Remus’s jaw. “Did you know Honeydukes just opened a back room for their adult line?”
“Adult line? What is it, forty flavors of chocolate body paint?” He closed his eyes at the careful sweep of fingertips down his throat.
“Something along those lines. I visited them last week on a research mission - don’t look so smug, you know the upper forms will clean the place out in February.”
“Purely for research. Very wise.” There was just time for them to be fashionably late to High Table if they hurried. Remus sighed and sat up. The room had gotten much colder. “Go on.”
“Well.” Severus waved his hand between their bodies and waited for the cleaning spell to work. “They haven’t finished stocking the back room, so there wasn’t much. But there was a space on one of the shelves marked ‘Bertie Botts.’ And since the jelly beans are supposedly every flavor - “ He summoned the bag and cautiously tasted one green and one beige bean. “Asparagus and oyster, and didn’t you say the red ones were strawberry? And the russet ones - I believe yohimbine bark tea is that color.”
Strawberries. Warm herbal tastes. Oysters and asparagus. Remus blushed violently. “Shit. I didn’t.”
“I’m afraid you did.” Severus resealed the bag with unusual care. “Minerva will have to know about this.”
“Sweet Christ, I’ll never be able to look her in the face again!“
“Not that. Kindly give me some credit. We’ll simply tell her we lost track of time.” Severus snickered and held up the bag. Remus snatched at it, his face burning, and missed. “She will, however, have to know that Bertie Botts has branched out into aphrodisiacs - "
Pairing: Snape/Lupin
Rating: NC-17
Summary: Remus can't resist the treats Severus confiscated. Oops.
“What are these?” Remus picked up the small paper bag from Severus’s dresser and shook. It made a sound like dried lentils being poured into a stockpot.
Severus, stripped to his briefs, wadded his teaching robe into a tight ball and lobbed it at the hamper. “The latest selection from Bertie Botts. One of the upper form Gryffindors was trying to persuade two Hufflepuff girls that they were perfectly harmless, and actually nutritious if one was lucky enough to choose the vegetable or fruit flavors.” The robe disappeared into the white enamel box, which slammed shut and began to hum as the purification spells activated. “And before you start defending the Gryffindor, these particular Hufflepuffs are both on a sugar-restricted diet while Poppy works on a metabolic disorder.”
“Diabetes?” The beans were smaller than the regular Botts product, with a glittery sheen that matched the festive red and green swirls on the bag. Remus poured a few out into his hand and sniffed.
“Got it in one.” Severus stretched both arms over his head and sighed as his lower spine clicked into place. He rotated first one shoulder, then the other, and shook his hair free of the dissolving net he had worn during the late afternoon NEWTs lab session. “It takes a few months for the body to adjust to the magical treatment, you know. Add in that both girls are disgustingly fond of cream buns and have mothers who use food as a substitute for love, and you have a disaster waiting to happen.”
“So much for a harmless Christmas treat, I suppose.” Red beans, russet beans, deep green beans, beige-gold beans - Remus tried to remember what color went with what flavor, and failed. He sniffed again and smelled sugar and the faintest trace of food coloring. “They’re probably all the dreadful ones, too. I got a vomit one once, you know.”
Severus snorted and sat down on his bed. It was one of the school-issue four posters, huge and dark and more than adequate for two adults, unlike the tiny futon at Remus’s flat. He accio’d his hairbrush and began working the last traces of netting from his hair. “One of my classmates at dame school talked me into eating half a bag of the chocolate-flavored senna type. I was sick for a week.”
It was all too easy to imagine Severus, undersized and overeducated, being the scapegoat even before arriving at Hogwarts. No wonder he had learned so many hexes so young. “They do carry ‘every flavor’ to an extreme, don’t they? These seem safe, though.” Remus separated out the red beans and popped first one, then the rest into his mouth. “Oh, these are nice. Wild strawberry. Would you like some?”
“Those are evidence, Lupin!” Severus slapped the hairbrush onto his nightstand and crossed the room to stand beside him, close enough to touch. He reached across the dresser for the bag.
Remus scooped up the russet beans, which were almost red in the candlelight, and ate the entire handful. They were tart but not unpleasant, and left a lovely warm burn as they slid down his throat. “Evidence of what?” He ran his tongue across his teeth to remove any trace of sugar shell and grinned. “Here, try the others. Two flavors, and I’ll bet they’re both good.”
“You’re incorrigible.” Severus swept the remaining beans back into the foil bag and sealed it with a charm. “Minerva will want to see those, or what’s left after you’ve spoiled your appetite. She does expect us for dinner tonight.”
The room was almost too warm despite the winter’s cold outside. Far better to be naked, and what was the point of being a wizard unless one could accomplish just that with a single word? Remus shivered as his clothes disappeared and delicately licked the cool, slightly sweaty skin just below Severus’s left ear. Clean sweat, sage, false ambergris, allspice, musk, brine - Just what had the NEWTs class brewed today? “There’s nothing wrong with my appetite, love. Nothing at all.”
Severus jerked slightly at the first touch of bare skin on bare skin, then yelped as Remus suddenly wrapped both arms around him and half-dragged, half-carried him to the bed. “What - Minerva - Remus, what the hell are you doing? I need to get dressed - “
A long thorough, wet kiss swallowed the remaining words. Remus pulled free just enough to mutter ”divestimento” before returning to the much more important task of drawing his tongue across every inch of that long, lean body. Severus gasped, wild-eyed, and grabbed at his shoulders as Remus worked his way down to all the lovely spots that drove him mad.
“Not dressed anymore, are you?” He ran his hands through the messy black hair and drank in the sight of Severus splayed against the fresh white linens, panting and flushed and anything but suited for dinner with the Headmistress. I did this to him. No one else. Only me. God, I’m a lucky man! “Minerva can wait.”
“Remus - “ Another gasp crescendo’d into a long, rising groan as Remus nibbled his way across his breastbone from one nipple to the other. “God, do that again, that’s wonderful - she’s not going to - “
Two whispered spells, and he had wrapped those sinewy legs around his waist and plunged inside before Severus had time to breathe. “She - she can wait - “
Severus arched beneath him with a wordless cry, and he knew he’d hit the right spot. He shuddered as the thin fingers dug into his back. “No choice - don’t stop don’t stop - “
And then it was too much for words as he found his rhythm and began thrusting in earnest. Severus clung to him in a death grip and thrust back, his voice ragged as he begged for moremoremoredamnitmore, and far too soon it was over and they lay tangled and stunned across the ancient bed.
Remus lifted his head and brushed his lips across a stray lock of sweaty black hair. “Thank you. I don’t know what came over me, but that was wonderful.”
“I do.” Severus smiled, one of the rare, lazy smiles that only Remus saw. He gently traced the line of Remus’s jaw. “Did you know Honeydukes just opened a back room for their adult line?”
“Adult line? What is it, forty flavors of chocolate body paint?” He closed his eyes at the careful sweep of fingertips down his throat.
“Something along those lines. I visited them last week on a research mission - don’t look so smug, you know the upper forms will clean the place out in February.”
“Purely for research. Very wise.” There was just time for them to be fashionably late to High Table if they hurried. Remus sighed and sat up. The room had gotten much colder. “Go on.”
“Well.” Severus waved his hand between their bodies and waited for the cleaning spell to work. “They haven’t finished stocking the back room, so there wasn’t much. But there was a space on one of the shelves marked ‘Bertie Botts.’ And since the jelly beans are supposedly every flavor - “ He summoned the bag and cautiously tasted one green and one beige bean. “Asparagus and oyster, and didn’t you say the red ones were strawberry? And the russet ones - I believe yohimbine bark tea is that color.”
Strawberries. Warm herbal tastes. Oysters and asparagus. Remus blushed violently. “Shit. I didn’t.”
“I’m afraid you did.” Severus resealed the bag with unusual care. “Minerva will have to know about this.”
“Sweet Christ, I’ll never be able to look her in the face again!“
“Not that. Kindly give me some credit. We’ll simply tell her we lost track of time.” Severus snickered and held up the bag. Remus snatched at it, his face burning, and missed. “She will, however, have to know that Bertie Botts has branched out into aphrodisiacs - "