Back To Memories
It was well known throughout China, that the members of the newest idol group, Super Junior M, weren’t all fluent in the language they sang. There was Hangeng, the leader, who was one of the few who spoke fluent mandarin. He did most of the speaking for the group: filling in for those who couldn’t answer questions, keeping the conversation going when something got awkward. Siwon was the second most talkative. Although he wasn’t completely knowledgeable about the language, he put forth an effort that the fans just lapped up. Zhoumi didn’t get much time to talk; the MCs always had more of an interest for the foreign Korean boys. But when he did, he just chattered away until he was dragged off by one of the other members.
Henry always dreaded being called on. Although he was Chinese, he was somewhat slow on forming the words. When he was younger, he enjoyed playing hooky at the Canadian community center where the Chinese school was. Instead he spent his hours sneaking to a back room to practice his violin. Even if his violin was his ticket over to the Asian pop culture, he sometimes wished he hadn’t skipped his Chinese lessons.
Kyuhyun and Ryeowook both weren’t big talkers. They recognized their names, some words, and sometimes a few simple sentences. But they were often seen with Hangeng, Zhoumi, and even Henry, whispering a translation into their ear.
The last member wasn’t always there. Sure, he was present in body, but his mind was left to wander. The fans often noticed Donghae staring off. His eyes had a glazed over look while his mouth hung open. Most people watching either thought that it was Donghae’s lack of Chinese or perhaps he was a bit spacey in the head. But in truth, neither was the case. In truth, Donghae was not with them at all in China, but back in Korea with Kibum. Sometimes he was revisiting past memories. Sometimes he imagined new scenarios that could happen.
Today they were on a show for the Hunan channel. Donghae started out the program by imagining Kibum sitting next to him. Donghae smiled at his appearance.
“Hi,” the imagined Kibum said. “Looks like you have a few more fans in the audience than last time.”
“Yeah,” Donghae imagined himself responding. He looked at a sign that flashed his name. “That sign even lights up! Do you think she’ll let me buy it from her?”
Kibum laughed. “I imagine that any of these girls would trade in their sign for a hug or autograph by the way they’re screaming for all of you.” He looked over at the other members. “Has Henry gained weight?” They both watched as the young member deflated his cheeks, fans screaming in excitement.
Donghae giggled, “He was probably just inflating his ‘mochi cheeks’ by request of the MC. It happens every interview.” His smile slowly faded, sadness replacing it. “I miss you,” he said quietly.
Imagined Kibum let out a pained smile as he reached his hand for Donghae’s cheek, stopping only inches before he reached it. “I miss you too,” he said longingly. “I wish there was some way I could sooth your thoughts.”
Donghae lowered his gaze. “I do too.”
Kibum lowered his head, but spoke up, “Do you remember what happened three months ago after the birthday party we had for you at the Super Junior dorm?”
“Yes but I don’t see how that is relevant.” Kibum started fading. “No!” Donghae imagined himself shouting. “Where are you going? Don’t leave.”
“Go back to that night. I’ll meet you there.” And with that and a smile, he vanished.
Donghae snapped back into the reality of the interview. The crowd was laughing at something Siwon had just said. The MC turned to Donghae. He only recognized his name with some Chinese around it. He smiled and turned to Hangeng expecting a translation. Hangeng leaned over and whispered in Donghae’s ear, “Just say ‘dui.’”
Donghae still smiling turned to the MC and said what Hangeng told him to. The crowd and the MC erupted into laughter. Donghae just kept smiling, but eventually the MC’s attention turned back to something Zhoumi was saying, and Donghae was free to go back in his memories.
He was opening the door to the room he and Kibum shared. Kibum was sitting on the bed with his glasses reading a book. He looked up at the sound of the door opening, putting his book on the bedside table. He let loose a smile that melted Donghae’s insides. He wanted to run over to Kibum and start kissing him until both of them were out of breath. He wanted to make love until they were too exhausted to speak. But he had to go along with the memory.
“Hey birthday boy.” Kibum took off his glasses and opened his arms, causing Donghae to smile and go over to him. He sat on the bed, laying his head on Kibum’s chest, and letting the older man wrap his arms around him. Kibum nuzzled his nose into Donghae’s hair, inhaling the scent of his shampoo and of the day’s events. Sweat from dance practice. Cake from the party.
“I haven’t given you your birthday present yet.” Kibum said soothingly. He reached into his side pocket and pulled out something small, holding it in his hand.
“A present?” Donghae exclaimed. “Ooo! Let me see it.”
Kibum chuckled, the sound creating vibrations through his chest that Donghae lay on. He opened his hand to show Donghae what was inside. Donghae looked to see a small silver ring. “Kibum…” Tears slid down his face.
“This is just a promise,” he said as he put the ring on Donghae’s right hand, “That you won’t forget me when you go to China.”
The mention of the new Super Junior M group brought back tears to Donghae’s eyes. He lay his head back down on Kibum’s chest, looking at the new ring on his right hand. Kibum stroked his hair soothingly, planting the occasional kiss on Donghae’s temple. “I don’t want to go,” said Donghae sorrowfully.
“Don’t say that. You’ll have fun. New experiences, new people. Just promise me you won’t get a new boyfriend.”
“I promise.”
“Let’s just enjoy the time we have left, okay?” Donghae nodded. “Now,” began Kibum again, “Since it’s your birthday, you get to choose this evening’s activities.”
“Can we just stay like this?” Donghae asked. “I just feel calmer right now.”
Kibum’s voice was like honey, “Sure.” They lay there until they fell asleep, Kibum’s arms tightly wrapped around him, Donghae gripping Kibum’s shirt, both keeping warm from each other’s body heat.
Donghae snapped back to reality. Back to china. He looked down to make sure his ring was still there. Taking it off, he looked at the inside. It read: ‘From Kibum, With Love.’ Donghae put it back on his finger. It would be only one more month until he saw Kibum again. At least he would always have the soothing memories.