*twitch*
Im a total nutcase ;_; Freaked out was ok by the end of the night largely due to someone tellin me not to worry and my cusin slapping me while i whined at him.Then came home from seeing Sleepless Nights at his place{which btw SUCKS}Horrible movie -.- Anyway uhm when i got home it was dark and everyone was asleep thank gods*sniffles*I think im fighting off a cold or something oh well as long as i dont get the flu like some people have been im happy.Ra isnt sick either he took that day off and slept poor baby needed it..Yea things are fine and im now positive that i need help :/ Must get some anti-anxity(sp?) meds...thats how it always starts im super anxcious and then depressed and scared of stupid lil things.Argh my neck is stiff...but yea its pretty crappy becuase i stressed out so badly that i was just O_O at everything.
Other stuff happening is now my grandfather is NOT going to have the surgery Thusday..Matt did some checking about the surgen and he's not that good to many off things and the nurses in ICU said that gandfather should get a thorastic surgen to do it..So now it's going to be a few more weeks til he has the surgery which means if the anurism grows he'll die if it bursts*sighs*There's just so much that could go wrong and waiting is not a good thing,he still smokes which is bad and he's dieing to golf which is worse cause its straining the area that the anurism is in.When Ra called lastnight i was like sooo happy and yea i feel silly but he makes me smile and its such a rare thing.I over react i know and right now the thought in my head is "Hi my name is Manda and im nuts*wavewave*"
Blahhhhhh *snuggles deeper into her blankey*Its funny but im seriously thinking about opening a little restraunt again.I need money and a location thou...But it could work i need something anything to do.Today im going to heelp mom do her bedroom flooring.Which im ok with becuase it reminds me vastly of Changing Rooms a show on BBC America that i looooveeee *gets an idea and rumages through logs*Mmmmm...Anyways im semi-bored right now and plotting the end of the world as we know it Mwuhahaha!!>;P Im giggley and stupid today i feel like im on a high and i didnt take anything..Im odd i know..The other thing to is even though im now in a mono relationship and i am poly well..i dunno im just taking it in stride and its nice to have the commitment there with Ra*smiles*Its not huge but its nice and im adjusting to it.I suppose im gettign more comfortable in thwe fact i can have some security with him and im slowly letting myself believe he wont walk away.That alone is a big step for me and its one reason i really do want to get help with my mental shit.All in all the usual freaked out me happened ;-; But its ok im glad to have a friend who'll make me see how insane i was being..And im lucky to have a guy who's just weird enough to want me *happy puppy smiles*On a side note im horny o.O
Other stuff happening is now my grandfather is NOT going to have the surgery Thusday..Matt did some checking about the surgen and he's not that good to many off things and the nurses in ICU said that gandfather should get a thorastic surgen to do it..So now it's going to be a few more weeks til he has the surgery which means if the anurism grows he'll die if it bursts*sighs*There's just so much that could go wrong and waiting is not a good thing,he still smokes which is bad and he's dieing to golf which is worse cause its straining the area that the anurism is in.When Ra called lastnight i was like sooo happy and yea i feel silly but he makes me smile and its such a rare thing.I over react i know and right now the thought in my head is "Hi my name is Manda and im nuts*wavewave*"
Blahhhhhh *snuggles deeper into her blankey*Its funny but im seriously thinking about opening a little restraunt again.I need money and a location thou...But it could work i need something anything to do.Today im going to heelp mom do her bedroom flooring.Which im ok with becuase it reminds me vastly of Changing Rooms a show on BBC America that i looooveeee *gets an idea and rumages through logs*Mmmmm...Anyways im semi-bored right now and plotting the end of the world as we know it Mwuhahaha!!>;P Im giggley and stupid today i feel like im on a high and i didnt take anything..Im odd i know..The other thing to is even though im now in a mono relationship and i am poly well..i dunno im just taking it in stride and its nice to have the commitment there with Ra*smiles*Its not huge but its nice and im adjusting to it.I suppose im gettign more comfortable in thwe fact i can have some security with him and im slowly letting myself believe he wont walk away.That alone is a big step for me and its one reason i really do want to get help with my mental shit.All in all the usual freaked out me happened ;-; But its ok im glad to have a friend who'll make me see how insane i was being..And im lucky to have a guy who's just weird enough to want me *happy puppy smiles*On a side note im horny o.O