Thoughts go in and out
Gahhhh my room is colder then the rest of the house im dressed for living in Cananda i swear o.o *loves it*mwuhahah!!Im uber sleepy right now though becuase i stayed up til 1am..went to sleep,was asleep very soundly when in the middle of dreaming what should i hear?...The phone! *giggles*Ray called at like 3am and he talked while i mumbled groggely *^.^* But then he fell asleep on the phone so i kind of yelled at him to wake up and go to sleep...We thought it was for the best so said nini{he's totally cute when falling asleep}I will say this though..Ra is the only person i know who falls asleep like that*snaps fingers*and is about dead to the world that fast too.Im very happy...and yes im not forgetting the mental break down from last month.I have spoken with Nancy about seeing a Dr. after grandfather's surgery*shrug*Its for me own good.Anyways uhm yesth im happy and i just dunno*L*Its like the no thinking just being place right now.Still in the hallway but its not white anymore its colorful..and im not scared of seeing what's in it.I know im rambling again but oh well.
On another note though,im very disappionted in Mike.I sent him something and didnt hear anything..he'll be going until atleast Spring.*sighs shrugging*Whatever im so sick of people being like that you know?Im truelly amamzed that ive known some people form almost 5years now and only talk to at most 4 every time im online...I dont really think its anyone's fault we just run out of things to say or something happened so now we're not sure how to even be around each other.I feel kind of bad cause of the few people i genuinly like ive lost or am losing touch with...There are one or two people that im lurking around their LJs,mostly i dont have anything to say but i still care about them.{this is the care as in thery're my Exs}The rest are friends and i just dont know what to talk about with them anymore...Hell Shaun and i havent spoken in about a year and half,we used to talk everyday*L*All in all i suppose im just not as interested in online crap/drama as i was like 9months ago even.I hate to say this but i seriously couldnt bring myself to IM Holly today :/ or lastnight..Its just i feel like she chose to make Michelle happy by saying we wherent friends anymore..so now what's left for her and i to even say to each other?Its shitty becuase Holly is a nice person but i feel like now anything i say to her will be amo to really stop being firends.I will freely say i hate Michelle and think she's an attention seeking bitch but Holly still choses to stick by her...So yea Holly's a good person *sigh*Im realizing right this minute how upset and hurt this has made me feel.That makes me proud of myself,im not bottling this up im working through it...I would like to talk to Holly but i dont think im ready just yet.Funny thing that,im still working through that whole thing with someone else too i loved them..still probably do but i can no longer let myself be open to them.Its just not an option anymore.To much past to muck through and even though its crappy of me to say this..i do hold a grude a long ass time and i still feel lied to.Im learning though that you have to let go and i think/feel that i have over that..im simply going through the motions of "you lied to me im still hurt but im past caring about you" And too its also i could say alot of things about their SO that im rather positive would make them hate me or atleast regret talking to me.So its one of those stay in the background things.*sighs*Oh well...lol i wonder if i should tell Ra about it,but then i think nahhh cause its the past and as corny as it sounds he's my future =^.^=
Soooo now im rambled out and L&O SVU is on!btw all much comment on my new icon!:P:P *is an 80s baby*
On another note though,im very disappionted in Mike.I sent him something and didnt hear anything..he'll be going until atleast Spring.*sighs shrugging*Whatever im so sick of people being like that you know?Im truelly amamzed that ive known some people form almost 5years now and only talk to at most 4 every time im online...I dont really think its anyone's fault we just run out of things to say or something happened so now we're not sure how to even be around each other.I feel kind of bad cause of the few people i genuinly like ive lost or am losing touch with...There are one or two people that im lurking around their LJs,mostly i dont have anything to say but i still care about them.{this is the care as in thery're my Exs}The rest are friends and i just dont know what to talk about with them anymore...Hell Shaun and i havent spoken in about a year and half,we used to talk everyday*L*All in all i suppose im just not as interested in online crap/drama as i was like 9months ago even.I hate to say this but i seriously couldnt bring myself to IM Holly today :/ or lastnight..Its just i feel like she chose to make Michelle happy by saying we wherent friends anymore..so now what's left for her and i to even say to each other?Its shitty becuase Holly is a nice person but i feel like now anything i say to her will be amo to really stop being firends.I will freely say i hate Michelle and think she's an attention seeking bitch but Holly still choses to stick by her...So yea Holly's a good person *sigh*Im realizing right this minute how upset and hurt this has made me feel.That makes me proud of myself,im not bottling this up im working through it...I would like to talk to Holly but i dont think im ready just yet.Funny thing that,im still working through that whole thing with someone else too i loved them..still probably do but i can no longer let myself be open to them.Its just not an option anymore.To much past to muck through and even though its crappy of me to say this..i do hold a grude a long ass time and i still feel lied to.Im learning though that you have to let go and i think/feel that i have over that..im simply going through the motions of "you lied to me im still hurt but im past caring about you" And too its also i could say alot of things about their SO that im rather positive would make them hate me or atleast regret talking to me.So its one of those stay in the background things.*sighs*Oh well...lol i wonder if i should tell Ra about it,but then i think nahhh cause its the past and as corny as it sounds he's my future =^.^=
Soooo now im rambled out and L&O SVU is on!btw all much comment on my new icon!:P:P *is an 80s baby*