Here I Am (Come and Take Me) proposal!AU timestamp
Title: Here I Am (Come and Take Me)
Pairing: Jared/Jensen
Rating: PG
Word Count: 2k
Disclaimer: I can only fantasize that this is really going on. Alas, it's not. Unless it is, and if so, I want photographic evidence, dammit!
Summary: AU. Jared spends the night before his wedding staring at the ceiling and trying to decide what to do.
A/N 1: This is part of my proposal!AU.
A/N 2: Thanks to enablelove for the beta. <3
Jared spends the night before his wedding staring at the ceiling and trying to decide what to do. Jensen’s sound asleep beside him, curled on his side with one arm flung over Jared’s thigh. It’s scary, how much Jared loves that one point of contact. He never expected any of this. Never expected to like Jensen as a person, let alone fall in love with him. And doesn’t that just throw a monkey wrench into his plans? He’s not sure he can go through with this anymore and he’s starting to regret agreeing with Donna’s idea to get married this weekend.
Sighing, Jared rolls onto his side to face Jensen. Jensen makes a faint protesting noise, and Jared holds his breath until Jensen settles back down, burrowing in closer to Jared. Not able to lie still anymore, Jared reaches out to gently trace a fingertip along Jensen’s cheekbone and over his nose. He can barely see Jensen’s freckles in the faint moonlight seeping around the edges of the curtains. He does his best to count each one anyway. He wishes he were brave enough to kiss Jensen, like he so badly wanted to do in the kitchen the other day. What would Jensen do if Jared just pressed close and kissed him awake? Jared doesn’t think he’ll ever get the answer to that question.
Jensen is so much more than Jared ever assumed, so much more than the man that fetched him coffee and kept things running smoothly at the office. He’s beginning to think it was a mistake getting to know the human side of Jensen, because now he knows how incredible Jensen is. He’s not sure he can get up there tomorrow in front of everyone, in front of Jensen, and recite his vows. He can’t hide how he feels, which helps sell the lie to their families, but he doesn’t want Jensen to find out.
Scrubbing a hand over his face, Jared lifts his head to glance at the clock over Jensen’s shoulder. 1:27 a.m. In less than 12 hours, he’s supposed to marry Jensen. For one brief moment, he lets himself imagine what it’d be like to marry Jensen for real, but the truth of the situation hurts his heart too much, and he lets that happy picture go.
He must have dozed off, because the next thing he knows, sunlight’s streaming into the room and he’s completely wrapped around Jensen. He stays still for several long minutes, allowing himself to breathe Jensen in and enjoy having him in his arms.
At 6 a.m., he carefully extracts himself from around Jensen and reluctantly gets out of bed. Grabbing his phone, he quietly leaves the room and goes downstairs, palming a business card in his hand.
Ms. Ferris picks up immediately, just as he knew she would.
“It’s Jared Padalecki,” he says after her perfunctory greeting.
“Mr. Padalecki. To what do I owe the pleasure?”
“I want to make a deal.”
Somehow he knows her smile has turned feral.
*
He still meets his parents for breakfast. Ms. Ferris had wanted him on the first flight to New York, but he put her off so he could say goodbye, because God knows when he’ll see them again.
It’s hard for Jared not to blurt out the truth, to pretend like everything’s normal. The life he’s built is crashing down around him and he should maybe say something, but he doesn’t. Sherry keeps talking about the wedding and how much she adores Jensen and his family. Jared nods and comments in all the right places and hopes his parents don’t suspect anything.
He still has no idea how to tell Jensen what’s going on.
After breakfast, Jared hugs his mama tight, maybe too tight, since she squeaks a little. He claims he’s heading over to the hotel early to get ready for the wedding, but instead he wanders to a nearby park and collapses on a bench. Propping his elbows on his knees, Jared rests his head in his hands and wonder how his life got so fucked up. All he’s ever wanted is to be good at his job and well-respected in the field. Yes, that takes a certain amount of sacrifice, but he willingly paid the price. He missed holidays and graduations and the birth of his niece, but he was doing something he loved and somewhere along the way he convinced himself it was worth the ache in his heart where he missed his family.
He stays in the park for a long time. Once he’s positive everyone would’ve left, he goes back to the Ackles house. A few days ago, Jensen told him how he’d sneak out as a teenager via a window with a faulty lock that Alan and Donna never fixed. Jared slips inside that way now to collect his things.
The house is quiet and still, the complete opposite of the way it’s been this past week. It makes Jared feel like an intruder, even though everybody’s gone out of their way to welcome him into the family. Except Jensen, at least at first. Jensen’s prickliness causes him to smile now, where before it annoyed him. It’s just one of the things he’s grown to love about Jensen.
Jared heads upstairs to the room he’s been sharing with Jensen. The bed is still a mess, and Jared remembers last night, how good it felt to hold Jensen, even for a short time. Briefly closing his eyes, Jared blows out a shaky breath, then drags his bag onto the bed. He packs quickly, not wanting to linger too long in a place that reminds him of Jensen. He takes one last look around, committing how he felt here to memory--the happiness and contentment and love.
He calls a taxi, then waits outside on the porch until it arrives. His hands are starting to shake, thinking about seeing Jensen. How can Jared tell him that all this has been for nothing? That Ms. Ferris is going to get exactly what she wants, exactly what Jared’s tried to avoid all these years? He doesn’t know how Jensen will react, and he’s not sure he can stand to see relief on Jensen’s face.
*
The trip seems to end too quickly and before Jared’s ready, they’re at the hotel. Swallowing, Jared hefts his bag, then slowly walks inside. There’s a room waiting for him, with his tux all laid out, but he goes to a floor above that instead, where Jensen is undoubtedly getting ready. The ceremony is set to start soon, and Jared’s careful to avoid anyone from Jensen’s family that’d recognize him.
Halfway down the hall, Jared chickens out and ducks into the alcove with the ice and vending machines. Leaning against the wall, he squeezes his burning eyes shut and presses a hand to his chest, his heart beating fast. He can’t do this, not to Jensen’s face, because he knows one look at Jensen will shatter his resolve. He wishes he could go to Jensen and tell him how he feels, kiss Jensen and smooth his thumbs over the freckles covering his nose and cheeks. But he knows Jensen would never let him, would never return his feelings, and that’s why he can’t go through with their plan. His heart couldn’t take it.
Jared spends several minutes just breathing and calming down before heading to the elevator. Back downstairs, Jared stops at the front desk and asks for paper and a pen. He finds a spot in a corner where hopefully no one will see him and sits down to write the hardest letter of his life. His hands shake too much at first, and he ruins a couple pieces of paper before the right words come to him.
Jensen, I’m sorry I’m doing this in a note instead of face-to-face, but I was afraid I wouldn’t be able to do what I have to if I actually saw you. I can’t go through with this. I can’t let you go through with this. You’ve been unexpectedly great about the whole situation, especially given the way I’ve treated you these past three years, but you deserve to marry someone that you choose for yourself, someone you love, not a man that forces you into it. I’m going back to New York. My plane leaves this afternoon. I’ve already talked to INS. Ms. Ferris will be waiting for me in New York. I explained what happened, that it was my idea and I threatened to fire you if you didn’t go along with the plan. She assured me you won’t face any charges. I am so sorry, for everything. You’re amazing, Jen, and I only wish I’d realized that sooner. Tell your family thank you for welcoming me into their home and lives, and tell my parents I love them. -Jared.
He’s leaving it at the front desk for Jensen when Josh’s wife discovers him. Zoe takes one look at him and seems to know every secret he’s keeping.
“Oh, Jared,” she murmurs, heartfelt, not disappointed like he feared. “You’re leaving, aren’t you?”
“Yeah,” he croaks, throat suddenly hurting from everything he’s been holding back. He hands Jensen’s letter to her. “Take care of him for me?”
“We will. Take care of yourself, Jared.”
He can’t speak anymore past all the emotions crowding his throat, so he just nods. Zoe squeezes his arm, then turns and walks away.
Jared doesn’t cry as he goes outside to get another taxi to the airport, but he can’t breathe past the breaking of his heart.
*
At the airport, Jared checks in and joins the long line at security. He quickly grows antsy with the wait and pulls out his phone, intending to read the many work emails he’s been ignoring all week. He has time to turn on the phone and notice the dozens of missed calls before it buzzes in his hand, caller ID flashing Jensen’s name. He almost lets it go, but part of him leaps at the chance to hear Jensen’s voice one last time, so he answers despite his misgivings.
Jensen sounds frantic, much as Jared expected, but it’s still incredible to hear him. Jensen doesn’t let him say much, then hangs up on him just as Jared catches the sound of his name being called. Whipping his head up, Jared finds Jensen charging toward him, Josh and Mac trailing behind him. Jensen’s still in his tux, looking disheveled and rumpled and beautiful. Jared gapes at him, afraid he’s dreaming and Jensen will disappear if he moves the wrong way. He has so many questions clamoring to get out, but what he really wants to do is haul Jensen in and kiss that amazing mouth.
Jared barely listens to Jensen at first, too busy staring at Jensen in disbelief, but then Jensen pleads with him not to go back to New York and Jared’s heart breaks all over again.
“Jensen--” he starts, meaning to explain about Ms. Ferris, but Jensen cuts him off first.
“When you didn’t show up today, it hurt. I don’t know how it happened or when exactly, but sometime over the last week I--I’m kinda in love with you.”
Jared feels lightheaded and his heart actually stops beating for a long moment. Then everything clicks into place, and he can’t control the smile that spreads over his face. “That’s good, because I’m kinda in love with you, too.”
Jensen kind of sways on his feet, hand pressed to his heart, and Jared palms his cheeks to steady him. Jared knows how he feels--overwhelmed and grateful at not missing their chance and deliriously happy.
“I love you,” Jensen says softly, and Jared leans close to whisper it back.
“Love you, too.”
Jensen’s hands comb into Jared’s hair to pull him down into a kiss, soft and sweet and lingering. And finally, finally Jared can fully relax, wrapped up in Jensen’s arms and in his love.
Pairing: Jared/Jensen
Rating: PG
Word Count: 2k
Disclaimer: I can only fantasize that this is really going on. Alas, it's not. Unless it is, and if so, I want photographic evidence, dammit!
Summary: AU. Jared spends the night before his wedding staring at the ceiling and trying to decide what to do.
A/N 1: This is part of my proposal!AU.
A/N 2: Thanks to enablelove for the beta. <3
Jared spends the night before his wedding staring at the ceiling and trying to decide what to do. Jensen’s sound asleep beside him, curled on his side with one arm flung over Jared’s thigh. It’s scary, how much Jared loves that one point of contact. He never expected any of this. Never expected to like Jensen as a person, let alone fall in love with him. And doesn’t that just throw a monkey wrench into his plans? He’s not sure he can go through with this anymore and he’s starting to regret agreeing with Donna’s idea to get married this weekend.
Sighing, Jared rolls onto his side to face Jensen. Jensen makes a faint protesting noise, and Jared holds his breath until Jensen settles back down, burrowing in closer to Jared. Not able to lie still anymore, Jared reaches out to gently trace a fingertip along Jensen’s cheekbone and over his nose. He can barely see Jensen’s freckles in the faint moonlight seeping around the edges of the curtains. He does his best to count each one anyway. He wishes he were brave enough to kiss Jensen, like he so badly wanted to do in the kitchen the other day. What would Jensen do if Jared just pressed close and kissed him awake? Jared doesn’t think he’ll ever get the answer to that question.
Jensen is so much more than Jared ever assumed, so much more than the man that fetched him coffee and kept things running smoothly at the office. He’s beginning to think it was a mistake getting to know the human side of Jensen, because now he knows how incredible Jensen is. He’s not sure he can get up there tomorrow in front of everyone, in front of Jensen, and recite his vows. He can’t hide how he feels, which helps sell the lie to their families, but he doesn’t want Jensen to find out.
Scrubbing a hand over his face, Jared lifts his head to glance at the clock over Jensen’s shoulder. 1:27 a.m. In less than 12 hours, he’s supposed to marry Jensen. For one brief moment, he lets himself imagine what it’d be like to marry Jensen for real, but the truth of the situation hurts his heart too much, and he lets that happy picture go.
He must have dozed off, because the next thing he knows, sunlight’s streaming into the room and he’s completely wrapped around Jensen. He stays still for several long minutes, allowing himself to breathe Jensen in and enjoy having him in his arms.
At 6 a.m., he carefully extracts himself from around Jensen and reluctantly gets out of bed. Grabbing his phone, he quietly leaves the room and goes downstairs, palming a business card in his hand.
Ms. Ferris picks up immediately, just as he knew she would.
“It’s Jared Padalecki,” he says after her perfunctory greeting.
“Mr. Padalecki. To what do I owe the pleasure?”
“I want to make a deal.”
Somehow he knows her smile has turned feral.
*
He still meets his parents for breakfast. Ms. Ferris had wanted him on the first flight to New York, but he put her off so he could say goodbye, because God knows when he’ll see them again.
It’s hard for Jared not to blurt out the truth, to pretend like everything’s normal. The life he’s built is crashing down around him and he should maybe say something, but he doesn’t. Sherry keeps talking about the wedding and how much she adores Jensen and his family. Jared nods and comments in all the right places and hopes his parents don’t suspect anything.
He still has no idea how to tell Jensen what’s going on.
After breakfast, Jared hugs his mama tight, maybe too tight, since she squeaks a little. He claims he’s heading over to the hotel early to get ready for the wedding, but instead he wanders to a nearby park and collapses on a bench. Propping his elbows on his knees, Jared rests his head in his hands and wonder how his life got so fucked up. All he’s ever wanted is to be good at his job and well-respected in the field. Yes, that takes a certain amount of sacrifice, but he willingly paid the price. He missed holidays and graduations and the birth of his niece, but he was doing something he loved and somewhere along the way he convinced himself it was worth the ache in his heart where he missed his family.
He stays in the park for a long time. Once he’s positive everyone would’ve left, he goes back to the Ackles house. A few days ago, Jensen told him how he’d sneak out as a teenager via a window with a faulty lock that Alan and Donna never fixed. Jared slips inside that way now to collect his things.
The house is quiet and still, the complete opposite of the way it’s been this past week. It makes Jared feel like an intruder, even though everybody’s gone out of their way to welcome him into the family. Except Jensen, at least at first. Jensen’s prickliness causes him to smile now, where before it annoyed him. It’s just one of the things he’s grown to love about Jensen.
Jared heads upstairs to the room he’s been sharing with Jensen. The bed is still a mess, and Jared remembers last night, how good it felt to hold Jensen, even for a short time. Briefly closing his eyes, Jared blows out a shaky breath, then drags his bag onto the bed. He packs quickly, not wanting to linger too long in a place that reminds him of Jensen. He takes one last look around, committing how he felt here to memory--the happiness and contentment and love.
He calls a taxi, then waits outside on the porch until it arrives. His hands are starting to shake, thinking about seeing Jensen. How can Jared tell him that all this has been for nothing? That Ms. Ferris is going to get exactly what she wants, exactly what Jared’s tried to avoid all these years? He doesn’t know how Jensen will react, and he’s not sure he can stand to see relief on Jensen’s face.
*
The trip seems to end too quickly and before Jared’s ready, they’re at the hotel. Swallowing, Jared hefts his bag, then slowly walks inside. There’s a room waiting for him, with his tux all laid out, but he goes to a floor above that instead, where Jensen is undoubtedly getting ready. The ceremony is set to start soon, and Jared’s careful to avoid anyone from Jensen’s family that’d recognize him.
Halfway down the hall, Jared chickens out and ducks into the alcove with the ice and vending machines. Leaning against the wall, he squeezes his burning eyes shut and presses a hand to his chest, his heart beating fast. He can’t do this, not to Jensen’s face, because he knows one look at Jensen will shatter his resolve. He wishes he could go to Jensen and tell him how he feels, kiss Jensen and smooth his thumbs over the freckles covering his nose and cheeks. But he knows Jensen would never let him, would never return his feelings, and that’s why he can’t go through with their plan. His heart couldn’t take it.
Jared spends several minutes just breathing and calming down before heading to the elevator. Back downstairs, Jared stops at the front desk and asks for paper and a pen. He finds a spot in a corner where hopefully no one will see him and sits down to write the hardest letter of his life. His hands shake too much at first, and he ruins a couple pieces of paper before the right words come to him.
Jensen, I’m sorry I’m doing this in a note instead of face-to-face, but I was afraid I wouldn’t be able to do what I have to if I actually saw you. I can’t go through with this. I can’t let you go through with this. You’ve been unexpectedly great about the whole situation, especially given the way I’ve treated you these past three years, but you deserve to marry someone that you choose for yourself, someone you love, not a man that forces you into it. I’m going back to New York. My plane leaves this afternoon. I’ve already talked to INS. Ms. Ferris will be waiting for me in New York. I explained what happened, that it was my idea and I threatened to fire you if you didn’t go along with the plan. She assured me you won’t face any charges. I am so sorry, for everything. You’re amazing, Jen, and I only wish I’d realized that sooner. Tell your family thank you for welcoming me into their home and lives, and tell my parents I love them. -Jared.
He’s leaving it at the front desk for Jensen when Josh’s wife discovers him. Zoe takes one look at him and seems to know every secret he’s keeping.
“Oh, Jared,” she murmurs, heartfelt, not disappointed like he feared. “You’re leaving, aren’t you?”
“Yeah,” he croaks, throat suddenly hurting from everything he’s been holding back. He hands Jensen’s letter to her. “Take care of him for me?”
“We will. Take care of yourself, Jared.”
He can’t speak anymore past all the emotions crowding his throat, so he just nods. Zoe squeezes his arm, then turns and walks away.
Jared doesn’t cry as he goes outside to get another taxi to the airport, but he can’t breathe past the breaking of his heart.
*
At the airport, Jared checks in and joins the long line at security. He quickly grows antsy with the wait and pulls out his phone, intending to read the many work emails he’s been ignoring all week. He has time to turn on the phone and notice the dozens of missed calls before it buzzes in his hand, caller ID flashing Jensen’s name. He almost lets it go, but part of him leaps at the chance to hear Jensen’s voice one last time, so he answers despite his misgivings.
Jensen sounds frantic, much as Jared expected, but it’s still incredible to hear him. Jensen doesn’t let him say much, then hangs up on him just as Jared catches the sound of his name being called. Whipping his head up, Jared finds Jensen charging toward him, Josh and Mac trailing behind him. Jensen’s still in his tux, looking disheveled and rumpled and beautiful. Jared gapes at him, afraid he’s dreaming and Jensen will disappear if he moves the wrong way. He has so many questions clamoring to get out, but what he really wants to do is haul Jensen in and kiss that amazing mouth.
Jared barely listens to Jensen at first, too busy staring at Jensen in disbelief, but then Jensen pleads with him not to go back to New York and Jared’s heart breaks all over again.
“Jensen--” he starts, meaning to explain about Ms. Ferris, but Jensen cuts him off first.
“When you didn’t show up today, it hurt. I don’t know how it happened or when exactly, but sometime over the last week I--I’m kinda in love with you.”
Jared feels lightheaded and his heart actually stops beating for a long moment. Then everything clicks into place, and he can’t control the smile that spreads over his face. “That’s good, because I’m kinda in love with you, too.”
Jensen kind of sways on his feet, hand pressed to his heart, and Jared palms his cheeks to steady him. Jared knows how he feels--overwhelmed and grateful at not missing their chance and deliriously happy.
“I love you,” Jensen says softly, and Jared leans close to whisper it back.
“Love you, too.”
Jensen’s hands comb into Jared’s hair to pull him down into a kiss, soft and sweet and lingering. And finally, finally Jared can fully relax, wrapped up in Jensen’s arms and in his love.