fic: a regular mary poppins
Title: a regular mary poppins
Fandom: Glee
Rating: pg
Length: 1,499
Summary: "Isaac can't even hold his head up yet. It's not like Cooper can inflict Hanson choreography on him." (or The Many Reasons Blaine is Not Crazy about Cooper Babysitting.) future!fic
Spoilers: none really
Characters/Pairings: Kurt/Blaine, Cooper
Notes: I couldn't help myself.
Disclaimer: Don't own. Don't sue
Isaac’s a little more than six months old when Cooper offers to take him for the afternoon. Blaine’s as unenthusiastic about the idea as he was the first time Cooper mentioned the possibility back before Isaac was even theirs.
“He used to babysit you and you’re still here.” Kurt says reasonably, pacing the nursery while Isaac fidgets and fusses, trying to sooth the baby before it turns into a full blown wailing fit. Kurt looks so different in here than he does anywhere else, frazzled and mussed with a burping cloth still slung over one shoulder and his hair falling into his eyes (Blaine knows he doesn’t look any better, is pretty sure there’s still organic applesauce in his hair from lunch). But it’s more than that, there’s something softer to the way he carries himself with Isaac in his arms, makes Blaine’s heart squeeze in his chest with something too complicated to simply label as happiness.
“Besides” Kurt continues unaware of his husband’s inner turmoil, caught between falling in love all over again and petulantly not wanting to leave their son with Cooper, “Isaac can’t even hold his head up yet. It’s not like Cooper can inflict Hanson chorography on him.”
Which is how Cooper ends up with Isaac secured to his chest and a Marc Jacobs diaper bag on his shoulder, securing a miniature baseball cap with the Universal Studios logo on it to Isaac’s head. “Relax Squirt. I’m taking my nephew to the park. You two have fun. Sleep. Shower. Together even. Try and recapture that honeymoon glow.” Cooper winks at them and Blaine tries not to blush, he really does. Then he leaves.
Kurt and Blaine try to get the apartment in order, contemplate cleaning out the refrigerator or one of the other household tasks Blaine can’t usually get to during his days at home with Isaac but they end up passing out for a handful of hours instead. It is better sleep than either of them has had in a while.
Cooper brings dinner when he returns, Isaac bouncing and sputtering happily when Kurt liberates him from the carrier. “How was he?” Kurt asks while Blaine gets plates and sets the table.
“This little buddy? A total champ.” Cooper plays with one of Isaac’s fists and Kurt smiles at Blaine as though to say he had nothing to worry about. Cooper takes the carrier off and a piece of paper falls out. “Were you keeping trash in-is that’s a phone number?”
Cooper smiles sheepishly. “Like I said: He’s a total champ.”
-
Date night transforms into a standing brunch date every Sunday morning. Usually it’s Rachel performing her godmotherly duties, sometimes it’s Alba, the nineteen year old NYU student in their building. The last Sunday in November the honor falls to Cooper since he’s sleeping in their guestroom. “Not a problem kids,” because apparently marrying Blaine extended nickname rights to Kurt as well. Kurt sometimes worries that Blaine might have a valid concern when he says that too much time with Cooper will result in Isaac not knowing his own name. “We’ve got catching up to do, right buddy? You two make a day of it.”
Cooper waves them out of the apparent still parroting back the long list of emergency contact numbers they’ve been reciting all morning and have laminated and stuck on the fridge. “Stop already. You guys are officially becoming Those Parents. Just go. Have a mimosa.” (And they do. Two each.)
Brunch turns into a walk turns into window shopping. Kurt forgets how much easier it is to navigate the world without a stroller, diaper bag, and a teething infant with diaper rash (except for how he never really does). Even the post-Thanksgiving rain doesn’t dampen the general goodwill budding in his chest. “We really do have to thank Cooper.” He tells Blaine while they wait for the light to turn green so they can cross the street. Kurt takes Blaine’s hand and tugs their gloved hands into his coat pocket, huddles close to ward off the November chill. That it’s important to value the people in your life while they’re in it is a lesson Kurt learned at a young age. Blaine’s hand squeezes around his fingers and Kurt shakes his head against any lingering melancholy and they keep walking.
By the time they get home its late afternoon and they’ve each added a hundred things to the mental list of potential Christmas presents for Isaac. They find uncle and nephew on the living room floor, Isaac is beating a square block against the triangle-shaped cut out trying to force it in.
He’s also dressed like a cowboy. Right down to the boots on his feet that Kurt does not remember buying him. “What?”
Cooper props himself up on an elbow. “There was an announcement for the All American Talent Search in the paper. Don’t worry I got it all on tape. He’s a natural.” He looks genuinely proud.
Blaine pinches the bridge of his nose and tries to count to ten.
They’re fielding phone calls for the rest of the year.
-
Understandably they’re wary of accepting Cooper’s help after Thanksgiving. Kurt doesn’t honestly know why he expected better with Rachel acting as his babysitting chaperone.
Still, Isaac did come in second place in his division in his first ever-his only, Blaine is quick to remind him every time he catches Kurt looking at the trophy in their living room-baby pageant.
-
Isaac’s crying, desperate and pained, and Blaine just wants to make it better. He roots around the freezer looking for one of the pacifiers they’ve been keeping in there since Isaac’s first tooth started coming in. He’d settle for a frozen bagel if he could find it. Blaine just wants it to stop. “He totally gets those lungs from you.” Cooper says absentmindedly, sitting at the kitchen counter and chewing on an apple. He’s auditioning for a new dad part in some pilot and wants to do some field research. So far this has involved inviting himself over for a week and going through all the baby books they’ve accumulated.
Blaine’s too preoccupied to indulge in the warm fuzzy feeling that comes from hearing his brother say that (because Isaac really is their son in every way that matters) moving a bag of frozen peas and still not finding what he’s looking for. Kurt has that meeting today, something about fabric; Blaine can hardly call him just because he was the one who grabbed the pacifier for Isaac last night. “Its okay, Isaac, its okay.” He calls over his shoulder. The day all Isaac’s teeth are done growing is going to be the happiest day of Blaine’s life.
“Why don’t you rub some brandy on his gums? That’ll mellow him right out.” A side effect of Cooper’s research has been the new onslaught of advice he’s been dropping. Blaine doesn’t know how he’ll survive if Cooper gets the part and has to play a father regularly. He doesn’t think their relationship can handle it.
He’s spared having to inform Cooper that he has no intention of giving his child alcohol and that the last thing he needs is Cooper’s advice on how to be a dad when he finally finds the long sought after pacifier. He can’t feel his fingers anymore but it quiets Isaac for eight blessed minutes so it’s completely worth it.
If only his brother was as easy to handle.
-
Isaac’s third word (after ‘Da’ and ‘yay’) is ‘no’. It doesn’t take long for it to become his favorite word. He laughs no in bathtub as he splashes water absolutely everywhere. He shrieks it when Blaine wrangles him into his high chair. He delivers it with stone faced seriousness and refuses to be dressed. It’s already the cornerstone of his limited vocabulary when the pointing starts.
“No.” Isaac wails point at the spoon in Blaine’s hand. “No.” he grunts and points at the overalls Kurt’s been trying to put him in for the last ten minutes. “No.” He screams excitedly when Rachel walks through the door, pointing his tiny finger directly at her. “No.” Point. “No.” Point. “No.” Point.
“Oh my god.” Blaine’s so overwhelmed by a numbing sense of déjà vu that he takes a fist full of mashed bananas to the face.
“No Da! No!” Isaac squeals happily, smearing bananas all over the table top of his high chair. Blaine manages to catch his son’s hands before he starts in on himself. “No! No!” Even with his hands in Blaine’s he’s still straining to point.
Blaine doesn’t know if crying is the appropriate response but it definitely feels like it might be.
When Kurt comes home from work Isaac’s blessedly asleep and Blaine’s still trying to clean banana off various surfaces in the kitchen. “Hard day?” Kurt ventures. Blaine doesn’t look up from his scrubbing. “Cooper’s staying at a hotel next time he’s in town.”
-
End