Dilemma
I have an issue:
I have a crush on my best friend's boyfriend, Javan. It's ridiculous! Of all the boyfriends she's had, I've thought a one was cute, but never started to like them! I've never been on these really friendly terms with any of her bf's either. He's like one of the coolest people I know (it's probably from all the weed...) and he's so fun to be around. And it doesn't help that I've seen him EVERY DAY for the past four days. Not that my friend wasn't with us 3 of the days, but the 4th day she had to go home to keep her momma from trippin' to the extreme. She wasn't supposed to be with Von anyway; her mom always changes her mind about how she feels about Javan and won't let her see him anymore cuz she thinks they're together too much; he lives around the block from her.
Anyway, so I'm crushing and I feel that there's nothing to do about it. I mean, there really isn't anything TO DO because I value my friendship over fucking around with my best friend's boyfriend just to break her heart more than one way. The only thing truthfully to be done is to keep distance and stuff, but it doesn't help when Javan always has a blunt to smoke, LOL. Like today he wanted me to come over and smoke with him, but I ain't got money, which helps cuz I probably would've been over in a heartbeat. But I'd be alone with him and ain't no tellin. I mean cuz it seems like we kinda flirt with each other...Austin says so, he sees it. And Jerrame was blowed yesterday, and yet, he saw how comfortable we got around each other and stuff. I mean, I let the dude lay in my lap and on my chest. WTF?! But no one said anything really. I think he believes it's just innocent; and technically, it IS innocent, it's just weird.
It just so happened when he was laying on me, the song on the radio was "Shawty" by Plies and T-Pain. I started listening to the words, and I thought, "Damn...am I his shorty?" and I looked at Austin right after I thought that and he started mouthing the words to me while looking between me and Javan, meaning that he thought the exact same thing I was moments before. Then in the car leaving from the house to drop him off, he started playing these slow songs thru my iPod, like "Torn" by Latoya Lockett (doesn't it seem like I'm dropping ads for these singers? LOL ) and "So What" with Ciara in it. I started listening to what I was singing like...why is he playing these songs? The killer topping was when he played "Getting Late" by Floetry. WOOOOOOW. I was like....wow. The chorus tells it ALL....
It's getting late
Why you gotta be here
Beside me
Watching, needing, wanting me
That's all that matters. Keep in mind that he was in the passenger seat with me. Cuz he kept looking at me while he sang it. I was like O_0 for realz. I wish I could tell what he was thinking. I know him and my friend are getting super close and loving each other more. And I love her to death, I would never want to do anything to hurt her. And I'm a good friend, so this is all just venting. I'm not going to find anything out, or talk to people and stuff.
I have a crush on my best friend's boyfriend, Javan. It's ridiculous! Of all the boyfriends she's had, I've thought a one was cute, but never started to like them! I've never been on these really friendly terms with any of her bf's either. He's like one of the coolest people I know (it's probably from all the weed...) and he's so fun to be around. And it doesn't help that I've seen him EVERY DAY for the past four days. Not that my friend wasn't with us 3 of the days, but the 4th day she had to go home to keep her momma from trippin' to the extreme. She wasn't supposed to be with Von anyway; her mom always changes her mind about how she feels about Javan and won't let her see him anymore cuz she thinks they're together too much; he lives around the block from her.
Anyway, so I'm crushing and I feel that there's nothing to do about it. I mean, there really isn't anything TO DO because I value my friendship over fucking around with my best friend's boyfriend just to break her heart more than one way. The only thing truthfully to be done is to keep distance and stuff, but it doesn't help when Javan always has a blunt to smoke, LOL. Like today he wanted me to come over and smoke with him, but I ain't got money, which helps cuz I probably would've been over in a heartbeat. But I'd be alone with him and ain't no tellin. I mean cuz it seems like we kinda flirt with each other...Austin says so, he sees it. And Jerrame was blowed yesterday, and yet, he saw how comfortable we got around each other and stuff. I mean, I let the dude lay in my lap and on my chest. WTF?! But no one said anything really. I think he believes it's just innocent; and technically, it IS innocent, it's just weird.
It just so happened when he was laying on me, the song on the radio was "Shawty" by Plies and T-Pain. I started listening to the words, and I thought, "Damn...am I his shorty?" and I looked at Austin right after I thought that and he started mouthing the words to me while looking between me and Javan, meaning that he thought the exact same thing I was moments before. Then in the car leaving from the house to drop him off, he started playing these slow songs thru my iPod, like "Torn" by Latoya Lockett (doesn't it seem like I'm dropping ads for these singers? LOL ) and "So What" with Ciara in it. I started listening to what I was singing like...why is he playing these songs? The killer topping was when he played "Getting Late" by Floetry. WOOOOOOW. I was like....wow. The chorus tells it ALL....
It's getting late
Why you gotta be here
Beside me
Watching, needing, wanting me
That's all that matters. Keep in mind that he was in the passenger seat with me. Cuz he kept looking at me while he sang it. I was like O_0 for realz. I wish I could tell what he was thinking. I know him and my friend are getting super close and loving each other more. And I love her to death, I would never want to do anything to hurt her. And I'm a good friend, so this is all just venting. I'm not going to find anything out, or talk to people and stuff.