(no subject)
2nd Ayahuasca experiment:
I drank the potion extracted from Caapi and Chacruna. I then laid down in my bed in the darkness and waited. I hummed some music and played my drum, relaxing my body and softening my mind. I thought of Ayahuasca the spirit and felt good inside.
Within fifteen minutes I was feeling some effects: heaviness throughout my body, disorientation, objects taking on significance, and a sense of bliss despite the nausea. My bed was the most comfortable place in the universe. After this, I started getting hot and cold flashes suddenly...one moment I would feel unnaturally warm, and the next I would be shivering. I experienced lucid thoughts, and at one point had a running dialog going on in my head, as though I were two halves and we were asking one another questions. This was perhaps the most enjoyable part of the experience although it did not last long. When all effects seemed to leave, I went into the bathroom to vomit. After this, I drifted off to sleep.
Plans: After conferring with the peeps at Aya.com, they agree that my chacruna was weak. I am trying again with mimosa next week. Practice makes perfect!!
Mystique is doing better. The bill so far is over $600 dollars for this kitty, and counting. My mom thinks I'm crazy for spending so much money on a cat, but Mystique is like a child to me. My life revolves around these precious animals. I just want him to feel better. He's at the vet again right now, and then later today after he gets his fluids IV'd, he will have his catheter pulled. Hopefully then he'll be able to pee on his own. He also has to eat a special type of food FOREVER to ensure that this doesn't happen again. Anything for my baby.
I've been doing pretty good lately. Frankly, I am overjoyed at the changes we are making with the apartment. Mostly just redecorating, cleaning, making the place awesome. I've been a little moody lately because I'm on the rag, but smoking weed does wonders for my hormones. I don't get suicidally depressed when I'm on my period if I have weed, and it helps my cramps. I realize I'm self-medicating and I don't really care. It works and gets me though the traumatic days of my period without any crazy incidents, which is good enough for me. Although I am being careful not to smoke too much and practice moderation.
Writing is going okay. I've decided to entertain some ridiculous notions that I've had. Which means that I'm not sure that I'll seriously use them, but they're fun to write about. I was having a lot of trouble with a certain chapter...I must have agonized over it for weeks at least. But then one day I just sat down, said "fuck it," and just started writing without thinking. And I really liked the outcome. Funny how some of the best stuff I've written comes about because I get into a "fuck it" mind-set, and just *go* for it. I suppose my biggest flaw as a writer is that I overthink a lot of things and I become needlessly obsessed with insignificant details. But when I just "let it go" wonderful things can happen. Hopefully I'll be able to get some writing in today.
I have two shroom trips coming up, one with Kristi and one with Constance, my step-mother-in-law. To be honest, I am getting tired of tripping just because other people want to trip with me. I haven't had a good, personal shroom trip in a long time. Don't get me wrong, I love experiencing the mushroom with others and sharing the love. But I am really longing for some "time alone" with my mushies. I have plans to go through a box of childhood belongings and memories, and explore new types of music and a whole bunch of other stuff that I would like to keep private. After my Ayahuasca maybe.
I can't believe I've been married an entire year. Our anniversary was October 28th. Time is so strange.
I drank the potion extracted from Caapi and Chacruna. I then laid down in my bed in the darkness and waited. I hummed some music and played my drum, relaxing my body and softening my mind. I thought of Ayahuasca the spirit and felt good inside.
Within fifteen minutes I was feeling some effects: heaviness throughout my body, disorientation, objects taking on significance, and a sense of bliss despite the nausea. My bed was the most comfortable place in the universe. After this, I started getting hot and cold flashes suddenly...one moment I would feel unnaturally warm, and the next I would be shivering. I experienced lucid thoughts, and at one point had a running dialog going on in my head, as though I were two halves and we were asking one another questions. This was perhaps the most enjoyable part of the experience although it did not last long. When all effects seemed to leave, I went into the bathroom to vomit. After this, I drifted off to sleep.
Plans: After conferring with the peeps at Aya.com, they agree that my chacruna was weak. I am trying again with mimosa next week. Practice makes perfect!!
Mystique is doing better. The bill so far is over $600 dollars for this kitty, and counting. My mom thinks I'm crazy for spending so much money on a cat, but Mystique is like a child to me. My life revolves around these precious animals. I just want him to feel better. He's at the vet again right now, and then later today after he gets his fluids IV'd, he will have his catheter pulled. Hopefully then he'll be able to pee on his own. He also has to eat a special type of food FOREVER to ensure that this doesn't happen again. Anything for my baby.
I've been doing pretty good lately. Frankly, I am overjoyed at the changes we are making with the apartment. Mostly just redecorating, cleaning, making the place awesome. I've been a little moody lately because I'm on the rag, but smoking weed does wonders for my hormones. I don't get suicidally depressed when I'm on my period if I have weed, and it helps my cramps. I realize I'm self-medicating and I don't really care. It works and gets me though the traumatic days of my period without any crazy incidents, which is good enough for me. Although I am being careful not to smoke too much and practice moderation.
Writing is going okay. I've decided to entertain some ridiculous notions that I've had. Which means that I'm not sure that I'll seriously use them, but they're fun to write about. I was having a lot of trouble with a certain chapter...I must have agonized over it for weeks at least. But then one day I just sat down, said "fuck it," and just started writing without thinking. And I really liked the outcome. Funny how some of the best stuff I've written comes about because I get into a "fuck it" mind-set, and just *go* for it. I suppose my biggest flaw as a writer is that I overthink a lot of things and I become needlessly obsessed with insignificant details. But when I just "let it go" wonderful things can happen. Hopefully I'll be able to get some writing in today.
I have two shroom trips coming up, one with Kristi and one with Constance, my step-mother-in-law. To be honest, I am getting tired of tripping just because other people want to trip with me. I haven't had a good, personal shroom trip in a long time. Don't get me wrong, I love experiencing the mushroom with others and sharing the love. But I am really longing for some "time alone" with my mushies. I have plans to go through a box of childhood belongings and memories, and explore new types of music and a whole bunch of other stuff that I would like to keep private. After my Ayahuasca maybe.
I can't believe I've been married an entire year. Our anniversary was October 28th. Time is so strange.