(no subject)
I need something but I'm not sure what it is.
I need to leave. I want to leave modern life behind. I want to devote myself entirely to spiritual matters and leave everything else. It sounds so silly doesn't it. But it's true. Sometimes I can't bear to be where I am now, doing what I'm doing. I try so hard to "live in the one moment" but the problem is that I feel too much. Why am I so emotional? Sometimes I wonder if I am just moody and emotional because everyone else in society seems so dead. Or maybe they just hide it better then me.
Kevin working at Dell frightens me. Because I worked at Dell and I saw them. I saw how miserable they all were, how unhappy they seemed. Nobody smiled, nobody laughed, everyone was just a wretched drone. I don't want that to happen to my baby. I don't want the life sucked out of him. I don't want him to become one of them. I'm scared right now. I feel so trapped. I don't know what to do. I need space to think but there isn't any. I can't wait until I go camping. I need some clarity. I need some direction.
I need to relax I think.
I need to leave. I want to leave modern life behind. I want to devote myself entirely to spiritual matters and leave everything else. It sounds so silly doesn't it. But it's true. Sometimes I can't bear to be where I am now, doing what I'm doing. I try so hard to "live in the one moment" but the problem is that I feel too much. Why am I so emotional? Sometimes I wonder if I am just moody and emotional because everyone else in society seems so dead. Or maybe they just hide it better then me.
Kevin working at Dell frightens me. Because I worked at Dell and I saw them. I saw how miserable they all were, how unhappy they seemed. Nobody smiled, nobody laughed, everyone was just a wretched drone. I don't want that to happen to my baby. I don't want the life sucked out of him. I don't want him to become one of them. I'm scared right now. I feel so trapped. I don't know what to do. I need space to think but there isn't any. I can't wait until I go camping. I need some clarity. I need some direction.
I need to relax I think.