"Society often forgives the criminal; it never forgives the dreamer"
In a way, I'm kinda fascinated with my use of livejournal. I just read my most recent page of posts and I'm such...I'm me. I write when I feel so utterly compelled to share how I'm feeling. And what I'm feeling is usually a mess somewhere in between ecstatic and indecisive. I don't understand myself and I don't know if I ever will. Anyway, I digress...
I was at Student in Government Day today. I got nominated to be Town Attorney for the day and as lame as it sounds, it was a lot of fun! I got to see my best friend's godfather (a close family friend) who is also the Chief Justice and he goes "How is Gypsy?" and I said good and he goes "She's still dating that gay kid right?" HAHA, such a win.
Sorry, I really need to stop getting off topic. Damn this feels good to put this all out there.
At school and at events and town functions I'm slightly miserable in the way that every normal teenager is. It's routine and I hate that aspect of it but at the same time it's an escape for me. For six hours I don't have to talk or think about my family. Even being without them for six hours is a pleasure.
But sometimes I catch myself (usually in AP Lit or Math) thinking about everyone else and their families. I know why I am the way I am and how my family is a direct correlation to that but I wonder why everyone else is the way they are and how their family affects them. I wonder if people speculate about me and give me the benefit of the doubt or if they just think I was born a pretentious controlling bitch.
I don't care who you are, I care why you're that way.
I wish other people felt the same way.
People say they do, but they don't. The same people that say they do are the same ones that think I'm out of my mind. And I am, but not for the reasons they think. Why do people assume we're all born to live based on innate characteristics and events and dispositions?
My mother is such an enabler. She thinks I'm miserable and inconvenient because that was just the way I was born. No, I was born with a father that likes vodka and golf and work more than his own children and a mother that allowed it all to fall apart while she made excuses for the world she lived in. My sister got out though and I resent her for that. Actually, no I don't. I just resent her for not giving me the benefit of the doubt more often. For a girl that grew up in the same house that I did, you think she'd understand.
Today my mom told me that my sister and her husband are exhausted after they spend a day with me. Funny, I said the same thing to a friend yesterday referring to babysitting a toddler. It's painful to know that you're nothing but an inconvenience to your family.
I think if my family wasn't my family, we wouldn't be friends.
I was at Student in Government Day today. I got nominated to be Town Attorney for the day and as lame as it sounds, it was a lot of fun! I got to see my best friend's godfather (a close family friend) who is also the Chief Justice and he goes "How is Gypsy?" and I said good and he goes "She's still dating that gay kid right?" HAHA, such a win.
Sorry, I really need to stop getting off topic. Damn this feels good to put this all out there.
At school and at events and town functions I'm slightly miserable in the way that every normal teenager is. It's routine and I hate that aspect of it but at the same time it's an escape for me. For six hours I don't have to talk or think about my family. Even being without them for six hours is a pleasure.
But sometimes I catch myself (usually in AP Lit or Math) thinking about everyone else and their families. I know why I am the way I am and how my family is a direct correlation to that but I wonder why everyone else is the way they are and how their family affects them. I wonder if people speculate about me and give me the benefit of the doubt or if they just think I was born a pretentious controlling bitch.
I don't care who you are, I care why you're that way.
I wish other people felt the same way.
People say they do, but they don't. The same people that say they do are the same ones that think I'm out of my mind. And I am, but not for the reasons they think. Why do people assume we're all born to live based on innate characteristics and events and dispositions?
My mother is such an enabler. She thinks I'm miserable and inconvenient because that was just the way I was born. No, I was born with a father that likes vodka and golf and work more than his own children and a mother that allowed it all to fall apart while she made excuses for the world she lived in. My sister got out though and I resent her for that. Actually, no I don't. I just resent her for not giving me the benefit of the doubt more often. For a girl that grew up in the same house that I did, you think she'd understand.
Today my mom told me that my sister and her husband are exhausted after they spend a day with me. Funny, I said the same thing to a friend yesterday referring to babysitting a toddler. It's painful to know that you're nothing but an inconvenience to your family.
I think if my family wasn't my family, we wouldn't be friends.