(no subject)
I've been kinda down today but try not to let anyone know because that's how I am. So don't get freaked out by this. It's just... whenever I'm down it helps to kind of release through writing. My feelings are most often translated through my writing in some way. The following is not a reflection of how I feel about someone...or myself. I simply chose the somewhat abstract topic to release some feelings. You know like when you have a dream... and it's clear in your mind but you can't explain it in words? Some things can't be explained... some feelings... it freaks the hell out of me because I consider myself a writer and when I can't get a grip on something it's so frustrating because it comes so easily, so naturally always. I consider this an exageration of my being, my energy of the moment. I've been doing these for a while now. After I write them, I feel almost literally 10 pounds lighter. I think it's kind of a form of prayer for me. They say everyone has their own unique way of praying. Well this is my prayer of petition. Though it seems somewhat incomplete, for as you will read, you will notice that there is no thanks. At one point I stopped writing and thought to myself... Jesus... has anything good happened today? Thinking back now... it's like my slate has been wiped clean. Sure, lots of good happened today! I woke up in a bundle of blankets on a semi-comfy bed, with a sturdy roof over my head and knowing that my brother was sleeping ever so lightly in a room across the hall and that my parents had their arms around each other (completely unaware)though, in a rather precarious state of sleep in a bedroom downstairs. This house, so full of love. How could I ever be so ... sad? Thankyou God for this sweet, loving blessing of family among so many others you haven doten upon me...
In The Mind of Mii New
You! YOU are disgusting! Look at yourself- just for one fucking minute! Everything about you, every little detail engraved into your spiteful little jealous mind is somehow tangled up in a mess of lies and deceit. Give IT up! You are the most deviously seductive, most sinfully bitter/sweet person I have ever conversed with. I curse the day I first met you. I curse the day I was born. I knew, OH I knew you were there and I hated you right from the moment I opened my eyes and saw. How can I hate you with such anger and pittiful remorse. What is this guilt I feel for having such thoughts of contempt which YOU had to stir up in the first place. Everything I say now, you deserve. I hate YOU! I hate you from head to toe. I hate your hair, I hate your face, I hate your body, I even hate your fucking feet!!! All I want is for you to go away and this will all be over. How bout it? HA! What am I saying... you don't even have the guts to touch that thing. You sicken me. You are weak... no. That's what you want people to think. That's how you manipulate them. You're sick, you know that right? Just go to hell ok.
SHUT UP!
In The Mind of Mii New
You! YOU are disgusting! Look at yourself- just for one fucking minute! Everything about you, every little detail engraved into your spiteful little jealous mind is somehow tangled up in a mess of lies and deceit. Give IT up! You are the most deviously seductive, most sinfully bitter/sweet person I have ever conversed with. I curse the day I first met you. I curse the day I was born. I knew, OH I knew you were there and I hated you right from the moment I opened my eyes and saw. How can I hate you with such anger and pittiful remorse. What is this guilt I feel for having such thoughts of contempt which YOU had to stir up in the first place. Everything I say now, you deserve. I hate YOU! I hate you from head to toe. I hate your hair, I hate your face, I hate your body, I even hate your fucking feet!!! All I want is for you to go away and this will all be over. How bout it? HA! What am I saying... you don't even have the guts to touch that thing. You sicken me. You are weak... no. That's what you want people to think. That's how you manipulate them. You're sick, you know that right? Just go to hell ok.
SHUT UP!