Knucklehead!
Why do I feel the need to try to not feel how I feel? It's like I get to a certain point...and stop. Like hitting a brick wall. Fear is a demon. It's a beast. It's the devil. The fear of getting hurt, but there is no reason for me, logically, to expect that to happen. Except of course, that it ALWAYS happens, eventually. Somehow. Someway. People are always going to disappoint us, hurt us, etc. It's life. No one should be put on a pedestal, by any means. But that's not even the issue here. the issue is, I like himz. And I'm trying not to like him so much. WTF is my problem? Why can't I just allow myself to truly care about another person as much as I do? Because it's terrifying. That's why. I'd rather be stabbed in the heart with a 9 inch butcher knife than to feel emotional pain. Ridiculous. I better stop this. Self-fulfilling prophecies are a b*tch.