My Dad Just Called

[elle_the_geek]

about 3:31pm my dad called me. we had an awful chatt. i can't believe i picked up this stupid phone. i hate calling people anyway i think i'll stay away from them forever. they are a pain in my butt. anyway i asked him why he couldn't call say...BEFORE the anniversary of our trip and you know what he said? "I've been busy" i give up. as i suspected dad is now calling us because him and clare are breaking up. it was a contest between clare's "smeggles" and me and cait and she won then lost because she found out that once a person gets mean they don't change easily plus with out dad (and herself)to bully us they turn more towards eachother. he kept on asking me why i was mad i asked him about the trip and he said i was out of line and had to be put back into place. so being thrown but the neck, slapped, kicked, called names, told to run away, and stealing my diary are all ways you should disipline a child. great. lovely. he told me that he was the father and i was the kid. and as i thought he hasn't changed. i hate i hate i hate him so much.
he kept on saying
we are all humans
we all make mistakes
nobody is perfect
"well i will only hope that my mistakes won't screw anyone else up"
"i didn't screw you up lauren!"
"yeah..."
i wish i was able to record our conversation.
he was waiting for something on father's day he was drunk when he called me for my birthday last year. he was partly drunk when he called.
he was trying to bully me to see him, he was blaming the problem on clare, mom ,and me.
he was sniffling. i hope he cries
i hate him so much right now.
i won't forgive him
and i hope he dies.

i know that is horrible for me to say that but i want him to be gone but then again i don't know. i want a dad. a dad that is nice and normal. i want a dad who isn't mine.
well, at least it is sci fi friday tonight, i like the john doe series.
****oh and shelly, i lost your email, is it possible you can email me?***
stargatesg1girl@gmail.com