Sweet Misery: Chapter Nine
Title: Sweet Misery (9/17)
Author: Elle's Shadow
Pairing(s): Harry/Draco, Mild Ron/Hermione, Mild Harry/Ginny
Rating: PG-13
Summary: Harry, along with Ron and Hermione, returns to Privet Drive until his birthday, before setting off to find and destroy the horcruxes. Before he can leave, however, he receives an unexpected visit from someone demanding that he find and return Draco Malfoy (who has not been seen since Dumbledore's murder). The two missions quickly morph into one, and Harry's life flips upsidedown.
Warnings: Slash, Minor Character Death (not a major character!), Spoilers for all six books
Thanks To: My betas: Dani, Jane, Scarlette, and, most of all, Ruby.
Notes: This fic is complete! I'll post a new chapter every Monday. Chapter Ten will be up February 5th.
Feedback: Pretty please?
Miss a chapter? Here: Chapter Eight
'I was blind
but oh, how you could see.
You saw the beauty in everything,
Everything, and me.'
- “Sweet Misery” Michelle Branch
A/N: This is one of my favorite chapters. I really hope you all enjoy it just as much. :D
Chapter 9
Daylight burns your sleepy eyes
It's hard to see your dreaming
You hide inside yourself
I wonder what you're thinking
And everything you're chasing
It seems to leave you empty
That night, Ron and Hermione had gone off to one of the empty rooms, leaving Harry and Draco sitting alone in the den, by the fire.
"This bites," Harry muttered.
You're not the one under the silencing spell.
"But I'm the one who thinks they're being prats."
Draco shrugged and went back to his book.
Harry got up and started wandering around, heading down hallways. Most of the rooms were locked, and Harry didn't think much about them. But one door had light coming from under it. He put his ear to the door gingerly.
"-don't understand what happened," Ron was saying.
"What don't you understand?" That was Hermione.
"What happened with all of us. What happened with them."
There was a silence, broken by Hermione. "You don't understand what happened with you? You don't trust him, so instead of giving him your power, you took it for yourself. Without meaning to, of course."
"And you trust him?" Ron sounded angry.
"No. Not at all. But Harry does..."
"Yeah, I know Harry does, Harry thinks he's practically a saint because Snape offed Dumbledore before he got a chance!"
"That's not it, Ron. There's something there, can't you see it? They connect somehow. You saw what the light did when they combined powers. Draco trusts him too."
Harry didn't stick around to hear more. Tired and confused, and with a spinning head, he headed up to his room, positioning the sleeping bag against a far wall instead of the door.
He didn't pick up his head when Draco entered the room and shut the door behind him.
******
He didn't remember what he had been dreaming this time, but he had been screaming. His own screaming woke him up before Draco could throw a pillow at him. Breathing deeply, he sat up against the wall, just like the last time he'd had a nightmare here.
Draco turned the lamp on its lowest setting and headed over to sit next to him.
He sat gingerly down next to Harry, this time flush against him, so their sides were touching.
Harry pulled out his wand and pointed it at Draco, who didn't flinch. "Finite," Harry said, and Draco's eyes widened in surprise. But he still remained silent.
After a few minutes, Harry calmed down a bit, the shaking subsided, and he moved his hand and laid it on Draco's forearm.
When he woke up again, it was light outside, and Draco was still asleep next to him. His head was tipped back against the wood, exposing his lean neck, and Harry belatedly realized that his hand was still on Draco's arm. He stood up quietly.
"Silencio," He pointed the wand at Draco, who opened his eyes and looked at him. Harry turned away before he could see an emotion.
*****
Now you still speak of day-old hate
though your whole world has gone up into flames
and isn't it great to find that you're really worth nothing?
- City and Colour
It continued similarly for some time - every day the four of them would research, looking for signs of Hufflepuff's cup, or the mysterious last horcrux. At night, Harry would take off Draco's silencing charms, and Draco would sit next to him, never speaking.
One night, Harry fell asleep as they sat there, and his usual nightmares came almost immediately. He woke with a start, and on instinct and fright latched onto whatever was closest to him. He ended up clutching Draco's wrist.
"Sorry," Harry said, trying to steady his breathing, but he did not release his grip on Draco's wrist.
"What do you dream about?" Draco asked. It was the first time he'd spoken at night since their fight.
"People that have died because of me, usually," Harry said, looking at his feet, "Sometimes of the people who haven't yet, but probably will."
"Like who?"
"Like my parents for one. Sirius after them, Cedric, Dumbledore. And the people who could... Ginny, The Weasleys, Remus, any of the Order, Ron, Hermione, you..."
"How were any of them your fault?"
"Voldemort was after me, not my parents," Harry rationalized, "Sirius died trying to save me, Cedric died because I accidentally brought him with me to the graveyard, and I didn't save Dumbledore when I had a chance."
"What happened at the grave-yard? I never did get the story, but everyone else seems to know."
Harry sighed and rubbed his face tiredly. "Wormtail tied me up, and brought Voldemort back to life. Voldemort called the Death Eaters. We dueled, and I managed to get away due to dumb luck. The end." Harry picked absently at a toe-nail, feeling awkward.
"Were you scared?" Draco was looking at him closely.
"Of course I was. I'm no hero."
Draco snorted, "Tell that to the rest of the world."
"I know," Harry said, still not looking at Draco.
"Are you scared now?"
Harry didn't answer for a minute. Draco just kept looking at him.
"Yes," Harry finally admitted, "I'm getting more scared every day."
"What are you afraid of?" Draco whispered, and when Harry hesitated, Draco slid his arm up so he was grasping Harry's hand.
"That we're not going to make it through this war," Harry said sadly, "We're not going to make it without losing others... and losing ourselves."
Draco was quiet for a moment, before asking, "What else? What else are you afraid of?"
"Failing," Harry whispered, "I'm so afraid of failing."
Draco didn't say anything else, but he didn't let go of Harry's hand, even when Harry resilenced him in the morning.
Next
Author: Elle's Shadow
Pairing(s): Harry/Draco, Mild Ron/Hermione, Mild Harry/Ginny
Rating: PG-13
Summary: Harry, along with Ron and Hermione, returns to Privet Drive until his birthday, before setting off to find and destroy the horcruxes. Before he can leave, however, he receives an unexpected visit from someone demanding that he find and return Draco Malfoy (who has not been seen since Dumbledore's murder). The two missions quickly morph into one, and Harry's life flips upsidedown.
Warnings: Slash, Minor Character Death (not a major character!), Spoilers for all six books
Thanks To: My betas: Dani, Jane, Scarlette, and, most of all, Ruby.
Notes: This fic is complete! I'll post a new chapter every Monday. Chapter Ten will be up February 5th.
Feedback: Pretty please?
Miss a chapter? Here: Chapter Eight
'I was blind
but oh, how you could see.
You saw the beauty in everything,
Everything, and me.'
- “Sweet Misery” Michelle Branch
A/N: This is one of my favorite chapters. I really hope you all enjoy it just as much. :D
Chapter 9
Daylight burns your sleepy eyes
It's hard to see your dreaming
You hide inside yourself
I wonder what you're thinking
And everything you're chasing
It seems to leave you empty
Goo Goo Dolls
That night, Ron and Hermione had gone off to one of the empty rooms, leaving Harry and Draco sitting alone in the den, by the fire.
"This bites," Harry muttered.
You're not the one under the silencing spell.
"But I'm the one who thinks they're being prats."
Draco shrugged and went back to his book.
Harry got up and started wandering around, heading down hallways. Most of the rooms were locked, and Harry didn't think much about them. But one door had light coming from under it. He put his ear to the door gingerly.
"-don't understand what happened," Ron was saying.
"What don't you understand?" That was Hermione.
"What happened with all of us. What happened with them."
There was a silence, broken by Hermione. "You don't understand what happened with you? You don't trust him, so instead of giving him your power, you took it for yourself. Without meaning to, of course."
"And you trust him?" Ron sounded angry.
"No. Not at all. But Harry does..."
"Yeah, I know Harry does, Harry thinks he's practically a saint because Snape offed Dumbledore before he got a chance!"
"That's not it, Ron. There's something there, can't you see it? They connect somehow. You saw what the light did when they combined powers. Draco trusts him too."
Harry didn't stick around to hear more. Tired and confused, and with a spinning head, he headed up to his room, positioning the sleeping bag against a far wall instead of the door.
He didn't pick up his head when Draco entered the room and shut the door behind him.
******
He didn't remember what he had been dreaming this time, but he had been screaming. His own screaming woke him up before Draco could throw a pillow at him. Breathing deeply, he sat up against the wall, just like the last time he'd had a nightmare here.
Draco turned the lamp on its lowest setting and headed over to sit next to him.
He sat gingerly down next to Harry, this time flush against him, so their sides were touching.
Harry pulled out his wand and pointed it at Draco, who didn't flinch. "Finite," Harry said, and Draco's eyes widened in surprise. But he still remained silent.
After a few minutes, Harry calmed down a bit, the shaking subsided, and he moved his hand and laid it on Draco's forearm.
When he woke up again, it was light outside, and Draco was still asleep next to him. His head was tipped back against the wood, exposing his lean neck, and Harry belatedly realized that his hand was still on Draco's arm. He stood up quietly.
"Silencio," He pointed the wand at Draco, who opened his eyes and looked at him. Harry turned away before he could see an emotion.
*****
Now you still speak of day-old hate
though your whole world has gone up into flames
and isn't it great to find that you're really worth nothing?
- City and Colour
It continued similarly for some time - every day the four of them would research, looking for signs of Hufflepuff's cup, or the mysterious last horcrux. At night, Harry would take off Draco's silencing charms, and Draco would sit next to him, never speaking.
One night, Harry fell asleep as they sat there, and his usual nightmares came almost immediately. He woke with a start, and on instinct and fright latched onto whatever was closest to him. He ended up clutching Draco's wrist.
"Sorry," Harry said, trying to steady his breathing, but he did not release his grip on Draco's wrist.
"What do you dream about?" Draco asked. It was the first time he'd spoken at night since their fight.
"People that have died because of me, usually," Harry said, looking at his feet, "Sometimes of the people who haven't yet, but probably will."
"Like who?"
"Like my parents for one. Sirius after them, Cedric, Dumbledore. And the people who could... Ginny, The Weasleys, Remus, any of the Order, Ron, Hermione, you..."
"How were any of them your fault?"
"Voldemort was after me, not my parents," Harry rationalized, "Sirius died trying to save me, Cedric died because I accidentally brought him with me to the graveyard, and I didn't save Dumbledore when I had a chance."
"What happened at the grave-yard? I never did get the story, but everyone else seems to know."
Harry sighed and rubbed his face tiredly. "Wormtail tied me up, and brought Voldemort back to life. Voldemort called the Death Eaters. We dueled, and I managed to get away due to dumb luck. The end." Harry picked absently at a toe-nail, feeling awkward.
"Were you scared?" Draco was looking at him closely.
"Of course I was. I'm no hero."
Draco snorted, "Tell that to the rest of the world."
"I know," Harry said, still not looking at Draco.
"Are you scared now?"
Harry didn't answer for a minute. Draco just kept looking at him.
"Yes," Harry finally admitted, "I'm getting more scared every day."
"What are you afraid of?" Draco whispered, and when Harry hesitated, Draco slid his arm up so he was grasping Harry's hand.
"That we're not going to make it through this war," Harry said sadly, "We're not going to make it without losing others... and losing ourselves."
Draco was quiet for a moment, before asking, "What else? What else are you afraid of?"
"Failing," Harry whispered, "I'm so afraid of failing."
Draco didn't say anything else, but he didn't let go of Harry's hand, even when Harry resilenced him in the morning.
Next