(no subject)
I know it's been a while since I've updated, thought I doubt anyone has noticed as I get the feeling no one actually reads any of this. But, if anyone is reading it here's a little update of what's going on:
--I'm seeing the biofeedback lady, Bonnie. She's been helping me with stress and pain management. She's also been teaching me self meditation, which is both fun and handy for pain relief.
--After my last few panic attacks I've run out of my albuterol inhaler because in the begining I've mistakenly judged them to be asthma attacks, which is funny because I don't really have asthma that badly, just enough to need an inhaler every once in a while. Need a refill dealy.
--I've been having a bit of a battle with depression again. This time the school and my parents are seeing this and they are willing to put in a little bit of help. I'm not sure I like this, but I'm going to be seeing a psychiatrist this month for an inital work-up and diagnosis to see if I really am clinically depressed and not just going throught the motions.
It makes me nervous to think that I'm seeing someone from Bellin. Bellin is the hospital where the crazy's go when other places can't handle them anymore. It's a scary idea that I'm seeing someone who treats honest-to-God crazy people.
It may just be a pride issue that's making me say that, but I doubt it. I had a friend that stayed in Bellin for an eating disorder, and she said some of the Dr's there in the psych unit were creepy as hell. Though she has a tendancy to exaggerate, I'm still weirded out by it... Please, Wish me luck.
--The job hunt continues. Still nothing, but then again, with my present health, would I really be able to hold down a job and do it well. Perhaps it's best until I wait for a change in the current conditions.
--Tonight I made my first ever mix cd on my computer. The music I listen to is great, but it's certainly an odd mix once it's put together. Some of this stuff may not have been meant to be meshed together onto one little disk.
--I just finished reading "The Jungle" by Upton Sinclair. May I just say "Oh my god". It totally makes me see life a hint differently. That and I'm a bit more open to socialism. I need to know more before I judge it though. (I'm a completely party free girl thus far, politically speaking.)
--A good friend of mine has come back into my life and has been helping me out for a while now. It really is great to know that someone cares. He's put up with so much of my evil crap I'm suprised he keeps coming back when I really really need him. Maybe this time I won't be such a horrid bitch and act the way I did the last few times. Perhaps it's my fucked up way of expressing gratitude, I don't know... Either way, Chris, I can't thank you enough. You keep my head above water, even if it means pulling my hair occasionally. :)
I'm out for the night. I need to grab my hand full of pills before I go.
2 little pink, 2 little white, 3 big white, 1 big grey, 1 big yellow, 1 little blue.
Almost all the colours of the rainbow... sometimes I see them too ;)
Night all. Hugs & Kisses? Sure, why not.
--I'm seeing the biofeedback lady, Bonnie. She's been helping me with stress and pain management. She's also been teaching me self meditation, which is both fun and handy for pain relief.
--After my last few panic attacks I've run out of my albuterol inhaler because in the begining I've mistakenly judged them to be asthma attacks, which is funny because I don't really have asthma that badly, just enough to need an inhaler every once in a while. Need a refill dealy.
--I've been having a bit of a battle with depression again. This time the school and my parents are seeing this and they are willing to put in a little bit of help. I'm not sure I like this, but I'm going to be seeing a psychiatrist this month for an inital work-up and diagnosis to see if I really am clinically depressed and not just going throught the motions.
It makes me nervous to think that I'm seeing someone from Bellin. Bellin is the hospital where the crazy's go when other places can't handle them anymore. It's a scary idea that I'm seeing someone who treats honest-to-God crazy people.
It may just be a pride issue that's making me say that, but I doubt it. I had a friend that stayed in Bellin for an eating disorder, and she said some of the Dr's there in the psych unit were creepy as hell. Though she has a tendancy to exaggerate, I'm still weirded out by it... Please, Wish me luck.
--The job hunt continues. Still nothing, but then again, with my present health, would I really be able to hold down a job and do it well. Perhaps it's best until I wait for a change in the current conditions.
--Tonight I made my first ever mix cd on my computer. The music I listen to is great, but it's certainly an odd mix once it's put together. Some of this stuff may not have been meant to be meshed together onto one little disk.
--I just finished reading "The Jungle" by Upton Sinclair. May I just say "Oh my god". It totally makes me see life a hint differently. That and I'm a bit more open to socialism. I need to know more before I judge it though. (I'm a completely party free girl thus far, politically speaking.)
--A good friend of mine has come back into my life and has been helping me out for a while now. It really is great to know that someone cares. He's put up with so much of my evil crap I'm suprised he keeps coming back when I really really need him. Maybe this time I won't be such a horrid bitch and act the way I did the last few times. Perhaps it's my fucked up way of expressing gratitude, I don't know... Either way, Chris, I can't thank you enough. You keep my head above water, even if it means pulling my hair occasionally. :)
I'm out for the night. I need to grab my hand full of pills before I go.
2 little pink, 2 little white, 3 big white, 1 big grey, 1 big yellow, 1 little blue.
Almost all the colours of the rainbow... sometimes I see them too ;)
Night all. Hugs & Kisses? Sure, why not.