dazed and confused
alright...let me explain my last entry. kevin and danny's job (pencell) well their boss is their friend bobby...he's trying to move the entire company down to north carolina. its a smart idea because the living price down there is so much cheaper and its close to the ocean because they all love to fish. well..bobby told kevin and danny that if they are interest they have to let him know so he can start training them. hes offering them very good jobs and there will probably be a stop for me doing some paperwork or something. i dont know but this has made me go crazy. i cant handle change...im not very good at it. kevin said if i dont want to go he wont...and if we do end up going and i dont like it there he will move back with me. im so confused because when we went to see ian down there i fell in love with north carolina. its beautiful and the people are nice and its easy living. but its not new jersey..im a jersey girl through and through. all my friends and family are here and its scary. i know ill have kevin and danny... and possibly his parents... and ill have ian and shawn and heather but....i hate being new. ill have to start at a new school, if i decide i wanna go back. i dont know.. all i know is this whole decision needs a ride to the beach on a warm night and just think.
on another note, im feeling better today, last night i got so upset and shit i was coughing so much i was throwing up constantly. i didnt go to my class today so i slept till around 12ish, when kevin called and told me how lazy i was. then i layed on the couch and watched the movie the walkout. that movie honestly made an impact on me. it had such a point. then around 230 kevin called again and told me how lazy i was and that i have to be at his house at 330. im eating heathly now, so i had a grapefruit for lunch, its was dellliicouss! i got to kevins and sat around...we got some dinner but it upset my stomach. i havent been able to keep food down, so i kissed him, he walked back to his house and yelled i love you mama... i left with a huge smile. now im sitting home, waiting for james to drop off a movie..and its an early night for me.