why i do declare miss may, the sun is OUT!
aha, lj.. it has been, according to you 11 weeks since we last met. Wow how time flies when your settling down.
the story so far, Steve and i have bought a house, we now live together temporarily in stanmore and are due to our nice lil two bedda in parramatta by next weekend. We get the keys on wednesday. We are in debt to our eyeballs and it feels great albeit heavy.
tonight is my last night of recklessness before i settle down, get naked, put on an apron and a cheeky smile and do my domesticated thing. its probably true, these things have already happened but to add a place of our own to that list feels phenomenal, to say the least.
i never actually thought i'd be capable of this kind of relationship and it still freaks me out time to time. however due to some very good friends lending me very tasty ears and chewable advice i think i am over the hump of panic and fear.
alot has happened lj! too much to divulge here, on account of who might reads it, but i feel like i aged about five years in the past five months. FIVE MONTHS, jesus mary and alice in chains thats a short fucking period of time. however, in that time i have been plucked from what felt like insanity, the depths of self-loathing and utter confusion to being wait for it, happy. i ENJOY myself alot of the time now and i haven't been able to say that for years. there has always been a longing, an emptiness and bitterness that comes with those things and i dont experience that anymore. it is ofcourse understandable that i reach moments of blinding panic for my life before steve, but i wouldn't swap it back for the world. All of this, including myself, has made me a better person.
and then, work still sucks ;)
the story so far, Steve and i have bought a house, we now live together temporarily in stanmore and are due to our nice lil two bedda in parramatta by next weekend. We get the keys on wednesday. We are in debt to our eyeballs and it feels great albeit heavy.
tonight is my last night of recklessness before i settle down, get naked, put on an apron and a cheeky smile and do my domesticated thing. its probably true, these things have already happened but to add a place of our own to that list feels phenomenal, to say the least.
i never actually thought i'd be capable of this kind of relationship and it still freaks me out time to time. however due to some very good friends lending me very tasty ears and chewable advice i think i am over the hump of panic and fear.
alot has happened lj! too much to divulge here, on account of who might reads it, but i feel like i aged about five years in the past five months. FIVE MONTHS, jesus mary and alice in chains thats a short fucking period of time. however, in that time i have been plucked from what felt like insanity, the depths of self-loathing and utter confusion to being wait for it, happy. i ENJOY myself alot of the time now and i haven't been able to say that for years. there has always been a longing, an emptiness and bitterness that comes with those things and i dont experience that anymore. it is ofcourse understandable that i reach moments of blinding panic for my life before steve, but i wouldn't swap it back for the world. All of this, including myself, has made me a better person.
and then, work still sucks ;)