Tonight, Tonight, the Whores Will Shine Tonight ...

Jul 28, 2005 16:38

I took a sick day today, but ended up coming in at 1:00 -- so here I sit, at work, tired, annoyed, and frankly, doing nothing at all. Well, I'm journalling, so that's something. Anyway, thtat guilt that eats away at me forced me in here. And of course, as I was coming in, my director was behind me, so I opened the security door for him so he woulnd't have to fumble with his keys, and I was like: "Hi, how are ya?" and he literally looked down the hall (to someone more important, I guess) and didn't even acknowledge me. No thank you, no how ya feeling?, no I'm fine, how are you? And they wonder why I have to leave here! I wasn't raised to be so socially inept. Talk about a social retard! How can you be that old and not know right from wrong in an instance like that? What miserable people!!! Anyway, I'm over it so much quicker than I used to get over these things because I've realized that, with a personality like that, he's hit his professional ceiling. He will never work outside of this office, he will always weild power over a bunch of half-rate emplotees who have no respect for him, and he will never have any kind of reputation in this community other than the one he has now, which isn't good. And even though I NEVER defend him anymore like I used to, I don't get involved. I just sit silently. But I totally agree with the assessments I'm hearing. So whatever. I never said I was a great person, but I deserve a fucking acknowldegment, especially since what I really wanted to do was open the door and then slam it back in his buck-toothed little face. It's all so unreal!! But Albany is looking more and more like a possibility. I'm just resentful that in order to have some kind of professional stability, I would have to leave my whole life here --- because there truly is no work for me here and I can't possibly take a penny less than I'm making now. But I also can't continue to be made to feel like a piece of worthless shit. I left a husband behind for doing that to me, I have no problem walking away from a man (and his WIFE!) that I have no respect or concern at all for.

Ok -- now that that's out ...

To any and all Cabaret whores who may have the chance to read this before tonight's show - I'll be there! And I can't wait to see you guys! Derrick said last night's audience was packed and wonderful and that you guys rocked prostates all over North America! That surprised me, at first, because I - your inspiration - was not there. But then I realized ... you did it in my honor, so either way, the show was still all about me with the underlying theme of "Heather is hot and should marry Leslie!" Yayyyy ...

See ya at the Klub!!
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