Crazy

[ellasynda]

I've been in a horrible mood for a while and I think doing nothing and constant alone time is making me crazy. I hate fucking alone time!!! I'm trying to keep my sanity by writing, but its not working; I was working on my poetry book, typing some love poetry that I wrote a while ago, and it just pissed me off more so I stopped. I'm watching Weeds, attempting to get some laughs, but its really not working either so I was trying to call Jermain and no one is answering. I've already cried twice and I think I know what the problem is. I used to use sex to make this lonliness disappear if only for a few moments, but now that I've declared myself celebate again and I'm stickin' to it I'm having something like separation anxiety. I'm still praying that I find a job soon because if I keep having days like this, I'm sure I'm going to end up slitting my wrists even if Lee is here to knock the knife out of my hand this time. Excuse me, I have to go scream now...

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