What Happened to Lani Garver
(by Carol Plum-Ucci)
first of all this is one of those books that hits my core. I have more than one, but this is one of them. Funny, it always has, even before it became as relevant.
It cuts through to a lot of things, a lot of unpleasant things, but its not exactly depressing. But the thing I realize on this rereading is that not only does it remind me of where I grew up, but, that while no one I went to high school ever killed anyone...(in high school anyway)...I have no problem believing they could have. And rather than being cometary on them, I find its cometary on me.
For me the story was always about Lani, even though, in a lot of ways its actually about Claire. The first time I read it I could only understand Lani as "a gay guy", where the word "gay" does not mean homosexual exactly but involves a lot of things that may or may not be present in a person of any gender or orientation, yet, is some comment on the worth of a person based on their "masculinity". The story was about intolerance and how awful it was that hate crimes could happen. And it was about small towns and the kind of evil that breeds there. It was about home.
The second time I read it I had a slightly larger view of Lani--but not much. It was about people and how sad we all are. It was about people I knew.
This time I have an even larger view of Lani, much closer, I hope, to the big picture. And it's still about home, and people, and how awful yet easy the events in the book are. But now it's also a little tiny bit about me.
The first time I read it, I was just annoyed as Claire by Lani's refusal to answer anything, and the "...'s a box" rejection of labels. The second time I wondered why he called bisexuality a box, I mean, bisexual covers everything right? Now I'm on the same page as Lani about the boxes (and know that the box that supposed to cover everything is actually pansexuality, bisexuality is limited to a binary understanding.
I couldn't fathom why he didn't just label himself "gay" "a gay guy" "bi" "a girl in a boys body" something! But this book, despite introducing you to Lani, doesn't try to cram non-binary concepts down your throat. In fact, you can read it without ever thinking outside those boxes. But it can make small cracks in your thinking. It doesn't pin itself down to boxes either. It can be a religious book, if you want; a gay book; a non-binary book; and transgender book; a book about trauma; a book about hope; a story with a tragic ending; a story with a hopeful ending....it's whatever you want it to be, or, if you're really in tune with it, a book about everything.
Of course, I never would have picked it up myself. My little sister bought it, and after hearing her talk about it, I read it. Now it's one of my Core Books (along with Walk Two Moons and The Moorchild).