Wait, what? (England, America)

[ellamequiere]

Title:  Wait, what?
Characters: England, America
Warnings:  None.  Seriously.
Summary:  Also for chibi_spork!  Even England needs to blow off steam sometimes.
Year: Ambiguously modern

This is, believe it or not, is another take on the same prompt that is responsible for A Business Trip, in case it turned out too dark.  Not sure which one I'll finish--

Comments

[sara_rojo]

Well, yeah

Thank God. I was actually worriedXD. So do Americans like the French now?

I don't think many British are convinced eitherXD

"Well, aru, I am communist...where it's convenient ;)
<.< >.>
Aru. *ahem* So did you know I own most dollars in the world, aru?"

(that was little Alfred's second nasty surpriseXD)

[ellamequiere]

Fuck, no, we don't. Fuckin' wine-snob pansies.

...but we don't hate them like we did a few years ago. Enough of us here are disillusioned with the Iraq thing, that we're not as collectively pissed off.

(Note: The opinions of this author do not necessarily represent the views of America or parent corporation... Seriously, I'm sure you'd get a different answer with every person you asked.)

Al: Looking uncomfortable, "SO YEAH, ABOUT THAT HURRICANE."

[sara_rojo]

XDXDXDXD
Actually, your opinion isn't much different to that of most male Spanish. The women, at least, think differently ;)

I remember, the last time I was in USA (about six years ago), I made it a point to hum the Marsellaise around to see if I could piss someone offXD (yeah, I'm that annoyingcheekyXD)

"Which one, aru? *wipes brow*"

Hey, that's not my opinion, man--

[ellamequiere]

--I think France is pretty cool, if only because French is kinda hot (this is an opinion also shared by lots of Americans; if you ask them what language is sexiest, they'll tell you French or Italian).

The fatal flaw in your plan was assuming that anyone here would recognize another country's national anthem. The only other national anthem I can hum is England's, and that's because we made up our own words to it back in the eighteenth century and we learn it in school as "My Country 'Tis Of Thee" (no lie).

"The-- uh-- the one with, you know, the waves and stuff." And he hightails it out of there to stress-eat until he forgets about this conversation.

(...seriously, we have this national fear right now that we're all going to be sold in slavery to the Chinese...)

Re: Hey, that's not my opinion, man--

[sara_rojo]

I find France the most beautiful country in the world, no lie. Fuck Italy, France is much more gorgeousXD. The French aren't as sophisticated as they want the world to believe, but they are very civilized and advanced, and the quality of life there is big.

French as a language is beautiful, but most people who say that haven't heard it, probably; it's also nasal and very archaic, roundabout and quite useless for quick communicationXD (I take it personally that Spanish isn't included in that listXD).
Italian is gorgeous, though, no question about it. In fact, Argentinian or Uruguayan Spanish may be the most beautiful language in the world, because it's Spanish spoken with a soft Italian accent. It drives us Spanish girls mad with lustXD

Actually, many people recognized it, probably thanks to CasablancaXD. Frankly, I don't like UK's anthem, "Rule Britannia" tops it left right and ever tight. Your own anthem is absolutely beautiful, though
(next time I want to annoy Americans I'll sing The Arrogant Worms; why didn't I know them back then?XD)

(...seriously, we have this national fear right now that we're all going to be sold in slavery to the Chinese...)

And now I want to see that ficXD
(seriously? are you -not you specifically, you Americans- so alarmed? Here in Europe we have the feeling the Chinese like us better than they like other first worlders -except for Russians, who are their favouritesXD-, but maybe we are sadly blinding ourselves to the truth: that China will conquer our asses first, as a "Your bitch? It's now MINE. Aru" *smug smirk*)

Re: *loves on your country*

[sara_rojo]

Thank you! You know what's really funny? Here in Spain we believe you British hate our guts, you love our beaches, just hate us personally. Seriously. We get the feeling that everything your media says about our country is always negative and painting us in a bad lightp (lazy, poor, chaotic, conservative, racist, you knowXD).

I also got the impression that everybody and their mother except us, Latin America and Italy was with Netherlands! Curious, how different things are perceived? But then again, Spain, like UK and almost all European countries, are in that cynical faithless phase about themselvesXD

We like to complain about how you hate us, but let me tell you, we aren't any better! I'm sorry to say that the British aren't, um, uh, um, uh, very, ehrm, appreciated, shall we say, around here. It's a mix of Gibraltar, historical dickishness and uh, the elements that arrive at our coasts every yearXD
(this summer I had the, uh...honour? to live among many English tourists in Benidorm. It was...differentXD)

Re: Hey, that&#39;s not my opinion, man--

[ellamequiere]

Man, I'd take Spanish over French any day xD-- why do you think I've kept after it all these years? But-- and I've had this conversation a lot, actually-- the thing about Spanish in the US is that we associate it with poor Latin American immigrants. When you hear a language most frequently at McDonalds, you don't have the same respect for it you might otherwise. So if you try and tell people that Spanish is pretty, they look at you like you're out of your mind.

That having been said, I think that whole situation is a travesty on so many levels I don't even know where to start-- the way America is dealing with Latin American immigrants is even more depressing than the way we're dealing with Muslims (speaking of which, what's up with Europe and Islam? I'm always hearing about new stuff becoming illegal... First it was headscarves in schools in France, then burqas in Spain... although I guess that's still being discussed, right?)

I have real problems with Argentinian Spanish. It's not as hard for me as Spain Spanish (which I almost never hear), but it's still all quick and slurred...

And yeah, we're alarmed. My theory is that is has to do with people being terrified by the idea of a non-majority-white country having the strongest economy. When we hear that the dollar's doing bad against the euro, we sigh and wait for things to turn around. But start talking about owing money to China, and all of a sudden everybody's got this really awful stomach ache... (of course, that's in part because we owe a LOT of money to China...)

...I don't like our anthem, but that's really only because I'm sick of it. I mean, you can only hear Rihanna's version of Star Spangled Banner at a baseball game (at EVERY baseball game) so many times before you just want to shoot yourself in the head. I also... well, who else's national anthems has bombs in it? o_o

[ellamequiere]

And did I mentioned, that picture's FRICKIN' HILARIOUS?

[ellamequiere]

That really IS hilarious. I mean, on the one hand-- like everybody else who got in on the imperialism thing-- the British Empire did some pretty intensely nasty shit... But on the other hand, there have definitely been countries that went through the 'empire incident,' and then didn't get over it until they'd had their ass thoroughly handed to them (I'm looking at you, Germany). What DO your history classes focus on? Like, I live in the north east of the States, so we learn about the Revolutionary War for YEARS. And in the south, I hear they spend all their time learning about the Civil War, and in California, a lot about the gold rush... like, I guess we mostly study the stuff that happened nearby.

...I now feel like England and his Rebellious Teenage Years need a one-shot, photo album and all. It's just too hilarious an image to pass up xD.

Oh, also, I have a question: wanna spot check England's profanity for me? I'd really like England to be swearing up a storm-- particularly in the other fill-- but I know that you all (I could say y'all, but that would just be pretentious xD) don't curse like we do. We basically just say "fuck" a lot and call it a done deal, but the internet tells me all sorts of strange things about British slang ;;;

tl;dr is the motherfucking best

[ellamequiere]

Yeah, I wondered if it might be something like that (the swearing thing, that is). I'm glad, because I-- I just don't think I could write someone calling someone else a "tosser," and be serious about it. I didn't know that you don't use "motherfucker," but on an ideological level I approve. And yeah, the "fag" situation... SO MANY JOKES about burning fags, sucking fags, buying fags... But you know, I wouldn't really call "fag" a swear. It's-- unfortunately-- not as taboo as most of the other words we've been throwing around.

Fun fact: Even writing pov, I can't quite deal with spelling "ass" with an R. In fact, even READING about someone doing something to someone else's "arse" makes my finger twitch towards the back button. Sad, but true.

It's cool-- the only time we study you guys is when we study the Revolutionary War xD. In fact, reading about all the stuff you studied, I start to believe what they say about the American educational system... In order, I studied: Native Americans, Rome, the Middle Ages (we learned about castles and stuff), the explorers (which is what my teachers called all those Spanish and British people who came over and killed a shitload of indigenous people), the Revolutionary War, Ancient China, Rome, and the Revolutionary War. This probably isn't totally representative-- my educational history is a little complicated-- but still, I think that some of us get out of high school without having ever studied the world wars. When I went to college, I had to tell my roommate that the Civil War came AFTER the Revolutionary War.

The statement "I'm fairly sure that it's just coincidence that X, but in a Hetalia context it's hilarious because Y..." is one of the best things about this fandom. But yes, I agree, that does sound pretty fabulous xD.

Re: In that case, have MOAR tl;dr!

[ellamequiere]

"Wanker" also sounds funny to me xD. Kind of like the kind of insult you call people in kindergarten (like weenie, or something).

That sounds like a hilarious fic... This isn't as widespread, but here I've seen people poke their tongue into their cheek and make that gesture near their face to indicate that they think that someone is sucking up to someone else (can you picture what I'm describing? The idea is that it makes you look like you're giving a blowjob... this one guy who works with me does it really, really convincingly...)

About the educational system here: I have no idea to what extent most kids study the world wars (I feel like there's usually at least a section on wwii), since, like I said, my educational history was a little complicated-- but it's definitely a different story here, because aside from Pearl Harbor, nothing happened near us. Lots of us had granddads who were drafted and went to fight in WWII, but that whole generation of men in general does not like to talk about war at home (I've only heard my grandfather allude to being in Germany once). So it's not as immediate, you know?