THE REAL LJ IDOL SEASON 8 WEEK 24: In Your Wheelhouse

[ellakite]

Comments

[whirlgig]

I am so sorry it took you so long to feel comfortable enough to share your thoughts with the world - I am so sorry that jerk did that to you - a similar thing happened to me when I was fourteen, and I told a boy I wanted to be a writer, and he laughed for literally 10 minutes and said it was the weirdest thing he'd ever heard, and not in a good way.

But I got over that, and I'm so glad you have too :)

As for concrit, the only thing I would say is the second half could be condensed slightly, as at times it is slightly repetitive - the way you say a few times that you like computers, you understand them more than humans - those parts could be combined to pack more of a punch.

Other than that, I noticed that a word may be left out here: "born and trained mediate conflict before it starts" - ?TO mediate conflict?

I loved the entire first section, the train ride was a great way of introducing us to your love of machines, then the stark switch to your own stories helped to reinforce the growing feeling that you had to write. I loved also the ending, the resolve you have in your new life goal. If you stick at it you will make it. So many writers get discouraged and don't ever try. I don't want that to happen to you, because I would like to read your book one day :)

[ellakite]

I'll take another look at the second section. I've already condensed it once, but I'll see if I can do it again. Part of the problem is that I *DO* want to reiterate the bit about understanding computers to indicate why I didn't seriously pursue writing before now. But I'll try to condense a couple of those statements into one, and see what I think of it.

Thanks for the feedback.

[ellakite]

PS: I meant to clarify something that you mentioned in your comment.

I would like to read your book one day :)

I'm sorry, but you seem to have misunderstood something. Then again, I didn't really make the point clear in my post:

The story I've been working out in my head since early childhood does not represent a book.

The last time I sat down and determined the level of detail required to tell the tale properly, I figured I'd need at least fifteen good-sized novels.

Sorry if I disappointed you...

[whirlgig]

I WILL READ ALL FIFTEEN. :)

I hope you do decide to consider having your writing published one day - whether that be short stories or long form. I think you have a clear and descriptive voice which many people respond to. As you say, it's a lot of hard work, but the end of this entry is so positive it gives me hope you will do just that one day :)