I appreciate the feedback/concrit. I must say that to my eyes, the revised piece seems "sparse"... but I'm a detail-oriented precision freak, so I have different expectations from the average person.
When I was younger, I used to hate "kitchen sink" dramatic soap operas; I thought they made huge fusses out of "common" issues. It never crossed my mind that these issues resonated with people *BECAUSE* they were so common. Everyone has had a bad day at work, and everyone has experienced betrayal. And that's why it's so easy to empathize with Robert. I felt like a right bastard tormenting him like that... and I'm glad someone came along and helped him find a good way of getting off that bridge.
PS: I don't think I'll ever abandon my epic fantasy tales... but I'm finally beginning to see I'm good at telling other stories as well.
1] You and MuchoMAS both, as far as the seemingly endless laying-out of detail. There *is* a place for such things, but it's not always ideal in fiction, unless you're stuck in a Dickensian situation where you're getting paid by the word and need to pad your serials to keep food on the table
( ... )
1] Speaking only for myself, the "detailed orientation" thing is my natural state, and it takes a conscious effort on my part to dial it back. But I'll try to make that effort, at least for my writing.
2] We're in total agreement here.
3] I know you weren't asking me to give up my dream, but you had expressed a concern not too long ago that I might be too fixated upon it. I was just trying to assure you that while I intend to go back to my saga at some point, I now see it is not the only story I have to tell. OK?
PS: I'm sure I had "show, don't tell" explained to me at that writing seminar I took over a decade ago, but my memory is not what it once was. I'll try "showing" at the next opportunity.
More re: 2]. A related quote from Booth Tarkington:
...They were upon their great theme: 'When I get to be a man!' Being human, though boys, they consider their present estate too commonplace to be dwelt upon. So, when the old men gather, they say: 'When I was a boy!' It really is the land of nowadays that we never discover.
I'm doing a helluva lot of introspection nowadays... not unlike Robert, but via different impetuses.
It wasn't a true "hijacking". We were talking about characterization issues, which is a kind of con crit. We didn't end up in Cuba because of the post; we just circled Mount Rushmore a couple of times before continuing on....
Life can be just as difficult for the "ordinary man" as it can for the extraordinary.
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When I was younger, I used to hate "kitchen sink" dramatic soap operas; I thought they made huge fusses out of "common" issues. It never crossed my mind that these issues resonated with people *BECAUSE* they were so common. Everyone has had a bad day at work, and everyone has experienced betrayal. And that's why it's so easy to empathize with Robert. I felt like a right bastard tormenting him like that... and I'm glad someone came along and helped him find a good way of getting off that bridge.
PS: I don't think I'll ever abandon my epic fantasy tales... but I'm finally beginning to see I'm good at telling other stories as well.
Thanks again.
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2] We're in total agreement here.
3] I know you weren't asking me to give up my dream, but you had expressed a concern not too long ago that I might be too fixated upon it. I was just trying to assure you that while I intend to go back to my saga at some point, I now see it is not the only story I have to tell. OK?
PS: I'm sure I had "show, don't tell" explained to me at that writing seminar I took over a decade ago, but my memory is not what it once was. I'll try "showing" at the next opportunity.
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...They were upon their great theme: 'When I get to be a man!' Being human, though boys, they consider their present estate too commonplace to be dwelt upon. So, when the old men gather, they say: 'When I was a boy!' It really is the land of nowadays that we never discover.
I'm doing a helluva lot of introspection nowadays... not unlike Robert, but via different impetuses.
Apologies for hijacking your post.
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