!!!!
so we just had midnight breakfast which was a mad good time. and do you know what the best part was? you might not. so i'm gonna tell you.
THE BIG CHAIR
yeah, that's right. it was a Special Appearance.
also there was music and "special brunch" food and these weird goodie bags from flik (awww, flik, mad props) that have things like phone cards with five minutes of free long distance.
also coffee. i drank some. yup.
there was a weird moment when i saw all of the deans and adminstrators all chillin in bates, and i thought i should walk over and chat, because at iroquois, and even cty really, i was mad tight with all those people, but i realized that here they wouldn't even recognize me. i never really thought the whole "little fish in a big pond" thing would bother me, but i miss being familiar with people.
it was also strange how we were in bates in the middle of the night with loud music and everybody had all of their clothes on. i kept expecting that to stop.
i asked this chick in my fys if fred had told her when our papers are due, and she says he said "well, i suppose in an ideal world, thursday." sweeeet. fred is my own personal superhero.
i've been having all of these ridiculous late nights in the library recently, and usually when i'm on my way home, i think "i have so many fucking brilliant and tender things to write in my motherfucking livejournal, the world had better prepare to be enlightened!" but by the time i'm actually back in good ol tits40 i realize that at 6 in the morning it's time to go the fuck to bed, not to hook up my laptop. so you've all been missing out.
the first couple of those late nights were with annika, and they were actually really productive. we work well together just the two of us, because we like each other's company but we don't have one of those insane relationships where we can't stop talking. we'll work for a couple of hours, and then cuddle and have a nice conversation for like half an hour and then go back to work. having somebody else with me is good for me, i think, because it reminds me that i'm not just in my own world and that i really do need to work, and it keeps me from leaving before i have stuff done.
last night, however, i went alone, which was pretty much a disaster. i was basically there from 1am to 6am and accomplished almost literally nothing. i did, however, find this really old folder with TONS of old im conversations, which was really strange. i didn't really realize how much a person forgets. after a certain amount of time has passed since a certain time period you sort of just remember a general outline, sort of an archetype of what that period was like, and you don't even consider that it's not at all fleshed out. reading those conversations made me remember not only a few events that i had forgotten about, but little details and feelings and that had been lost. also, you'll think you remember things, and you'll think "oh yeah, that was like x," which isn't false, but it isn't true, either. you forget the REAL feelings surrounding certain things and just rememberthem as an abstraction. and it's sad that they can completely disappear. so sad. i really hate the idea of anything being ephermal, especially things that can be so important.
so basically, last night i learned a lot about life, but nothing new about thucydides or athenian democracy. i guess thems the breaks.
i've decided that winter break is going to be good. i'm definitely going to miss my people like crazy, but it's going to be good for me, and for all of us really, for a lot of reasons. it's a month without stress, and a month that we can remember that we're individual people who are completely capable of leading our own lives. it's a month for me to hang out with justin and have a great time and relax. and then, getting back will be so fabulous. we'll all be so excited to see each other, and we'll all be refreshed, and we'll have the time to do fun things again, because that fucking sword of damocles called conference work will be hanging waaaaaay higher than it has been for the past month or so.
i love you. goodnight.
THE BIG CHAIR
yeah, that's right. it was a Special Appearance.
also there was music and "special brunch" food and these weird goodie bags from flik (awww, flik, mad props) that have things like phone cards with five minutes of free long distance.
also coffee. i drank some. yup.
there was a weird moment when i saw all of the deans and adminstrators all chillin in bates, and i thought i should walk over and chat, because at iroquois, and even cty really, i was mad tight with all those people, but i realized that here they wouldn't even recognize me. i never really thought the whole "little fish in a big pond" thing would bother me, but i miss being familiar with people.
it was also strange how we were in bates in the middle of the night with loud music and everybody had all of their clothes on. i kept expecting that to stop.
i asked this chick in my fys if fred had told her when our papers are due, and she says he said "well, i suppose in an ideal world, thursday." sweeeet. fred is my own personal superhero.
i've been having all of these ridiculous late nights in the library recently, and usually when i'm on my way home, i think "i have so many fucking brilliant and tender things to write in my motherfucking livejournal, the world had better prepare to be enlightened!" but by the time i'm actually back in good ol tits40 i realize that at 6 in the morning it's time to go the fuck to bed, not to hook up my laptop. so you've all been missing out.
the first couple of those late nights were with annika, and they were actually really productive. we work well together just the two of us, because we like each other's company but we don't have one of those insane relationships where we can't stop talking. we'll work for a couple of hours, and then cuddle and have a nice conversation for like half an hour and then go back to work. having somebody else with me is good for me, i think, because it reminds me that i'm not just in my own world and that i really do need to work, and it keeps me from leaving before i have stuff done.
last night, however, i went alone, which was pretty much a disaster. i was basically there from 1am to 6am and accomplished almost literally nothing. i did, however, find this really old folder with TONS of old im conversations, which was really strange. i didn't really realize how much a person forgets. after a certain amount of time has passed since a certain time period you sort of just remember a general outline, sort of an archetype of what that period was like, and you don't even consider that it's not at all fleshed out. reading those conversations made me remember not only a few events that i had forgotten about, but little details and feelings and that had been lost. also, you'll think you remember things, and you'll think "oh yeah, that was like x," which isn't false, but it isn't true, either. you forget the REAL feelings surrounding certain things and just rememberthem as an abstraction. and it's sad that they can completely disappear. so sad. i really hate the idea of anything being ephermal, especially things that can be so important.
so basically, last night i learned a lot about life, but nothing new about thucydides or athenian democracy. i guess thems the breaks.
i've decided that winter break is going to be good. i'm definitely going to miss my people like crazy, but it's going to be good for me, and for all of us really, for a lot of reasons. it's a month without stress, and a month that we can remember that we're individual people who are completely capable of leading our own lives. it's a month for me to hang out with justin and have a great time and relax. and then, getting back will be so fabulous. we'll all be so excited to see each other, and we'll all be refreshed, and we'll have the time to do fun things again, because that fucking sword of damocles called conference work will be hanging waaaaaay higher than it has been for the past month or so.
i love you. goodnight.