I really really want it
I want to be a lecturer. This is my aspiration, my dream.
But first I have to have a higher degree. Master degree at least.
And in my heart there is no other country but Japan.
I will be lying to myself if I said it is not because of V6 is in Japan. That is my reason. But believe me, it is not my one and only reason. I love Japanese cultures, in my opinion they are very beautiful, sacred, elegant. Japan is one of the most high-tech country, every people in the world will admit. Biotechnology in Japan is advance, that is a fact. Japan is the country of Applied Microbiology, you only need to see Yakult: Lactobacillus kasei Shirota strain. There are no other country that study Applied Microbiology as deep and broad as Japan does. Japanese are tenacious, discipline, hard working. These all my reasons, aside from V6.
But I failed again and again in my scholarship application to Japan. How many times do you ask? Four times in the last two years. How devastated I was? To the point that sometimes I think death seems quite nice.
And I am tired now. I have no power anymore. I don't know what to do. Where should I go.
I have tried to apply the scholarship to other countries. Australia twice and UK once. And I also failed. No wonder I failed, my heart doesn't belong there.
I know I am being very stubborn. But I swear to you, my heart does not belong there. I have pushed my self, but I can not. There is this huge huge burden every time I tried, burden that I can not explain.
I only can pray. Screaming in my pray, sobbing in my pray, pray till I have nothing left but the prayer itself.
But in the end, I know that God will give me the best.
I will walk by faith and not by sight.
But first I have to have a higher degree. Master degree at least.
And in my heart there is no other country but Japan.
I will be lying to myself if I said it is not because of V6 is in Japan. That is my reason. But believe me, it is not my one and only reason. I love Japanese cultures, in my opinion they are very beautiful, sacred, elegant. Japan is one of the most high-tech country, every people in the world will admit. Biotechnology in Japan is advance, that is a fact. Japan is the country of Applied Microbiology, you only need to see Yakult: Lactobacillus kasei Shirota strain. There are no other country that study Applied Microbiology as deep and broad as Japan does. Japanese are tenacious, discipline, hard working. These all my reasons, aside from V6.
But I failed again and again in my scholarship application to Japan. How many times do you ask? Four times in the last two years. How devastated I was? To the point that sometimes I think death seems quite nice.
And I am tired now. I have no power anymore. I don't know what to do. Where should I go.
I have tried to apply the scholarship to other countries. Australia twice and UK once. And I also failed. No wonder I failed, my heart doesn't belong there.
I know I am being very stubborn. But I swear to you, my heart does not belong there. I have pushed my self, but I can not. There is this huge huge burden every time I tried, burden that I can not explain.
I only can pray. Screaming in my pray, sobbing in my pray, pray till I have nothing left but the prayer itself.
But in the end, I know that God will give me the best.
I will walk by faith and not by sight.