nano frustration
11047 / 50000 words. 22% done!
I hate my nano story so much right now, there aren't even words.
Okay, I take it back. I don't hate it, because "hate" implies emotion, which is what I lack in regards to this story. I don't care about it, I don't care what happens - I don't know what happens - and I kind of want to junk all eleven thousand words of the damn thing.
But I tell myself that the point wasn't to write something GOOD, it was just to write every day; that I'm cultivating good writing habits; that all the bunnies that keep coming out of the woodwork in my brain - you know, the ones for interesting stories - are a good thing, and that someday I'll be able to write them.
Most of all, I tell myself that I've given up on just about every single difficult thing I've ever been faced with, and that I refuse to let myself give up on this.
It would, however, help if my mother would stop asking me if I'm planning to get "my book" published once I'm done writing it. NO, MOM, I AM NOT. IF I CAN MANAGE TO READ THROUGH THE ENTIRE THING EVEN ONCE WITHOUT DEVELOPING A SPONTANEOUS ANEURYSM, IT'LL BE A MIRACLE.