Here I am
Just in case you were wondering, I'm feeling much better now. I went through quite a pronounced bout of depression and madness but came out the other side feeling pretty damned good. Sure, I'm still a little sad, but mostly because I was forced to fail. I would never have chosen a divorce, no matter how bad it got. It was my chosen lot. I made a promise and would have done anything to keep it, but that wasn't allowed.
Now, on the other side of it, I am really enjoying how sane and peaceful my world is now. The chemical reaction that made that relationship was also a very caustic force within it. The passions that made us work also made us break. We drove eachother crazy in good ways and in bad ways. I got where I just accepted the way things were as normal and didn't ever pursue anything better. Not consciously anyway. I see now that this really is better. I still hate that I get to be the scapegoat and excuse for her infidelity and rush to another man, but I'm thankful now, whatever it took and however it has to be justified.
I haven't really updated anything aside from the recent woes of my existence in a long time. Actually, I never really used this to talk about my life much at all aside from what spilled out in quizzes and such. So, here's a few notes of interest.
I'm Mr. Fuckin' Biker now. I started out with the bike I posted about in October. Rode it a lot. Then Rebecca got her harley and couldn't ride it, so I rode it with her on back. Two weeks later, I bought a 97 Harley-Davidson Road King. I got a good deal since it had been dropped. But it's an 11 year old harley that doesn't leak oil. Had some cosmetic damage but it had low miles and a sound motor and I was able to fix up the rest. It started out green with some toll painting lookin' mess with eagles and mountains to cover some scratches. Now It has skulls and flames and shit and is one of the baddest lookin' baggers in town.
After three years of the stained glass shop, I finally had to get out. I am now the main designer for a vehicle wrap company. I get to do a lot of mundane stuff, lots of green grass and blue sky. But I also get to do some cool stuff here and there. That's how my bike got the skulls and flames and shit. And the bike is starting to bring more custom type work, bikes and otherwise. NHRA work is way more interesting than lawn care trucks.
The family is doing good. Tyler is doing well overall. The divorce hit her hard too, but she's adjusting and the lack of tension in the house seems to be a good thing for her overall. Britt is 16 now, she's taking college courses at school and started working over the summer making more per hour than some adults I know. Dale is turning into quite the athlete. He was one of the best players on his summer baseball league and is now hitting basketball real hard. Just had Britt's birthday including a hot little car. Dale's is coming in October and he wants a motorcycle. They both know that if we buy them vehicles, they get one and it has to last them. They can also keep them when they leave, so long as they leave for college. No college, and we keep the vehicle. Tyler's birthday is in a couple of weeks. We're having a cookout in the park. She wanted to do laser quest but you can't really have a lot of people in there. Anybody I know with kids who want to come, let me know and I'll make sure you get an invitation.
This weekend, Jenny and I are off to Harleypalooza out in grove. Then the following weekend we're going to the Missouri state HOG rally. Then the last weekend in Sept. we're heading for Bikes, Blues and BBQ in Fayetteville. I kinda couped up for a couple of months and I'm so ready for a trip. I'm really looking forward to getting away. And she makes an awesome traveling companion. Lots of the same interests and tastes makes for easy traveling, and she's pretty good company once we get there. Someday, I'll marry that girl.
And speaking of marrying that girl, We're talkin' sometime this spring for a wedding. I figure it will be in town for all the friends and family. We had talked Vegas, but I don't know if I really wanna be married by Elvis. Besides, there's a lot of people who will want to be there to celebrate it with us and there's just no room on the bikes to get them all to Vegas. So it will most likely be here in town. Details to come.
Rebecca posted about my ringtone for her. For a minute I thought to use Brother My Cup Is Empty, but You're Breaking My Heart worked out. I'm a customizer and having so many options to play with on a phone forced me to get the cables to hook it up and dump stuff on it. My favorite thing on there is the ringtone I have for Jenny. I used Sugar Magnolia because she's a deadhead and it reminds me of her a lot. "Takes the wheel when I'm seein' double, pays my ticket when I speed." At my worst moments I can play that song and feel all that I truly have and find peace. I really am a lucky guy.