(no subject)
24 July 2013 Wednesday
Monday we went for farewell buffet and I think I controlled myself pretty well. The food was fine, not super fantastic, and the company was just not my kind. I'm not sure if that had affected my appetite but after 2 rounds of normal food I moved on to desserts. I skipped the cakes, which didn't look too appealing and I didn't wanted to waste the calories. But i wasted my calories on some melting cheap ice cream. Come to think of it, the prawns are ok and the savory dishes are fine too but I just didn't felt like eating. I don't know if it is due to my secret eating nature or I just felt too drained socializing with them.
It wasn't awkward, or was it? But I felt very very uncomfortable looking at them, giving food to one another, peeling prawns for each other. I am just not used to such closeness.. I don't even do that with my family I realise.. We are just all very independent. Hmm.. And cl has to keep annoying me with his high-pitched mocking voice. I really felt the urge to stand up and leave.
Anyway, I felt really happy when I found the chance to leave. I felt bad, but I literally ran to the mrt station. All the way, my footsteps were so quick, I felt liberated. I wished I could run home at that moment.
Yesterday after dinner my stomach was bloated after downing my bowl of soup. I skipped the rice but I ate lotsa veggie and salmon, which was all good. But sadly after that, the binge eating feel came to me and I stood at the kitchen, searching for something I can eat. I ate all the corn in the soup, I ate strawberries and pear, I tried to sit down and watch tv and read my book but I could't concentrate. I couldn't distract myself. Food was like behind my mind and then i succumbed and had a slice of wholemeal bread with yogurt and jam. At least it is pretty healthy right. And I really felt like eating more after I finished the bread but Papa was at home and the secret eater me couldn't binge in front of him so I sat down and watch tv and play bejeweled to distract myself further. And luckily, I was able to curb myself.
I just finished my lunch and I had that urge to binge!! I swear it isn't hunger because lunch was brown rice and veggie. So the secret eater me went to bring my box of melted chocolate out of the office fridge and attempted to eat it secretly without my colleagues knowing. And I even made up an excuse to say that I was testing if it has spoilt should they caught me eating it right after lunch. I had 2 spoons of it without getting caught.. but I realised it didn't taste good so I didn't continue eating. I had the dark chocolate with whisky that cy gave.. It was heavenly.. And I craved for more.. I wished I had more dark choc with me.. But the secret eater me couldn't eat so much in front of my colleagues so I distracted myself by cleaning my desk and now after more than half an hour, I don't feel like binging anymore..
So.. distracting for a long period helps.. I should find sth I like to do after dinner!!!
Monday we went for farewell buffet and I think I controlled myself pretty well. The food was fine, not super fantastic, and the company was just not my kind. I'm not sure if that had affected my appetite but after 2 rounds of normal food I moved on to desserts. I skipped the cakes, which didn't look too appealing and I didn't wanted to waste the calories. But i wasted my calories on some melting cheap ice cream. Come to think of it, the prawns are ok and the savory dishes are fine too but I just didn't felt like eating. I don't know if it is due to my secret eating nature or I just felt too drained socializing with them.
It wasn't awkward, or was it? But I felt very very uncomfortable looking at them, giving food to one another, peeling prawns for each other. I am just not used to such closeness.. I don't even do that with my family I realise.. We are just all very independent. Hmm.. And cl has to keep annoying me with his high-pitched mocking voice. I really felt the urge to stand up and leave.
Anyway, I felt really happy when I found the chance to leave. I felt bad, but I literally ran to the mrt station. All the way, my footsteps were so quick, I felt liberated. I wished I could run home at that moment.
Yesterday after dinner my stomach was bloated after downing my bowl of soup. I skipped the rice but I ate lotsa veggie and salmon, which was all good. But sadly after that, the binge eating feel came to me and I stood at the kitchen, searching for something I can eat. I ate all the corn in the soup, I ate strawberries and pear, I tried to sit down and watch tv and read my book but I could't concentrate. I couldn't distract myself. Food was like behind my mind and then i succumbed and had a slice of wholemeal bread with yogurt and jam. At least it is pretty healthy right. And I really felt like eating more after I finished the bread but Papa was at home and the secret eater me couldn't binge in front of him so I sat down and watch tv and play bejeweled to distract myself further. And luckily, I was able to curb myself.
I just finished my lunch and I had that urge to binge!! I swear it isn't hunger because lunch was brown rice and veggie. So the secret eater me went to bring my box of melted chocolate out of the office fridge and attempted to eat it secretly without my colleagues knowing. And I even made up an excuse to say that I was testing if it has spoilt should they caught me eating it right after lunch. I had 2 spoons of it without getting caught.. but I realised it didn't taste good so I didn't continue eating. I had the dark chocolate with whisky that cy gave.. It was heavenly.. And I craved for more.. I wished I had more dark choc with me.. But the secret eater me couldn't eat so much in front of my colleagues so I distracted myself by cleaning my desk and now after more than half an hour, I don't feel like binging anymore..
So.. distracting for a long period helps.. I should find sth I like to do after dinner!!!