Crack!Fic
So something clicked in my head and I made the icon I'm using crossing the Blood Ties and Wicked fandoms. But then my brain wouldn't let go of the funny and I had a plot bunny and lo and behold a fic was born.
Title: A Dark and Stormy Night
Author: elizalavelle
Rating: G
Authors note: For the purposes of this story the novel ‘Wicked’ by Gregory Maguire has not been written, which means that the musical has not been created. That being said I’ve borrowed very Kristin Chenoweth inspired Glinda for my story so one can presume the events of Wicked have happened, we just don’t know about them yet.
Also it should be said this idea was complete crack inspired by my icon (points to icon in use) and the ending was in part inspired by a TV meme ( here) that I did last week. It’s highly possible that LiveJournal has damaged my mind ;)
It was a dark and stormy night. That would have been ominous but the truth was that the past week had been nothing but dark and stormy nights; this made them really less “dark and stormy” and instead more “inconvenient and rainy.” Henry Fitzroy hated November. It was cold and usually rainy and that made people in a rush to get everywhere. Thus it was harder for him to find a decent dining companion. This particular night he’d gotten lucky and had caught a mugger in the park. Just a kid really, the pros didn’t work outside in weather like this. There were hardly any people around for him to jump and those who were walking were all to aware of their miserable surroundings. There were no easy targets. Henry had caught the child with ease and explained the error of his ways to him…
Now there was one less mugger in his park and Henry was ready to call it a night and head back to his apartment. Vicky was supposed to drop by with some case or other that night. She’s been showing up with more ordinary cases as well as the supernatural ones. Whether she was aware of it or not she was starting to treat Henry like her partner on all of her cases. This thought brought a hint of a smile to Henry’s lips but he was careful not to push the issue with Vicky yet… not too much at least.
As Henry briskly walked back to his apartment it began to rain. He had an umbrella with him but still ducked into a Second Cup to stay dry. He figured he could pick up some more coffee for Vicky to drink while they reviewed her new case. Cops and coffee just went together and she went through more of the stuff than he thought was humanly possible some nights.
He was browsing the shelves full of assorted flavours of coffee as he heard the bell over the door jingle and a high pitched voice announce “it’s good to see me isn’t it?..” and then more quietly “or at least it would be if this rain wasn’t ruining my curls.” This was said as she despondently tugged at one of the limp curls framing her face.
Henry turned to see a woman who was so tiny she’d made him feel statuesque. She was clad all in pink from her high heeled shoes to the tiny pink jewels in her tiara. She had a pink satin tote bag and it appeared that she had a wand of some type poking out of the top of her bag. For most of the customers in the Second Cup she was just another random Toronto oddity and after a quick look everyone went back to their laptops and lattes. Henry took a second look at the woman; there was something not quite about her which was setting off his supernatural senses.
Oblivious to Henry’s scrutiny the tiny woman wandered up to the counter and surveyed the menu options. “I think I’ll take one candy cane hot chocolate, with whipped cream please” she chirped, “just a small one, have to watch the figure you know” she followed in a hushed tone.
The barista began making the drink and the man at the cash register quoted a price that Henry always found much too high for something as simple as a hot chocolate. The woman began to search through her purse muttering that she knew she had the right currency in there somewhere. Henry caught a glimpse of what appeared to be a bag of jewels amongst the assorted items in the woman’s bag and stepped in before she could attempt to pay with them.
“Allow me” he said giving one of his more charming smiles as he passed a five dollar bill to the gentleman at the register.
The woman paused and looked up. “Oh my” she said taking in Henry’s appearance. She nodded to accept his offer. Henry turned the charm up a notch and asked “may I walk you to wherever you’re heading tonight?” He held up an umbrella “the rain doesn’t look as though it’s letting up anytime soon.”
The woman agreed and took her hot chocolate to go as Henry purchased some Royal Blend coffee to brew for Vicky that night. They walked out together into the dreary night.
As soon as they’d walked out of sight from the Second Cup Henry turned to the woman and introduced himself “I’m Henry” he said “and who might you be?” Not smooth at all but it would get the job done.
The woman looked up at him and replied “I’m Glinda the Good of course. I thought you knew me and that’s why you so kindly offered your assistance.”
Henry smirked and then let a little of his mask drop. “Who are you really” he asked, his tone demanding the truth.
Glinda drew herself up to her full high (which Henry estimated to be about 5”1’ in the heels) and replied in a more regal tone “I am Glinda the Good, formally Galinda of the upper Uplands and who exactly do you think you are talking to me that way?”
Henry blinked somewhat surprised. There was something not quite human about this woman and she at least really did believe she she was who she said she was.
“Just to clarify you’re the Glinda, as in Glinda from the Wizard of Oz?” Henry asked.
“Oh good, you do know who I am, although we just say Oz, the Wizard left us a while ago you know” Glinda replied with a smile. “I’m just here for a small trip, exploring new places was my Lurlinemas resolution this year you see. Do you know the Wizard as well? I think he was from somewhere around here, more here than there at least I think…”
Henry cut off Glinda’s run on sentence feeling that if he didn’t he’d be stuck standing in the rain all night.
“Do you know that you are in books in this world?” he asked. “I have the original Oz story in my collection if you would like to examine it…”
Glinda took the bait wanting to see how someone from another world had written about her. “Did they draw me as well? What did they write about exactly…” her questions began as Henry steered her back towards his condo.
Fortunately for Henry’s ears he didn’t live to far away and he only had to last through 7 minutes of run on questions until he was at the door to his condo and had the key in the lock.
He opened the door and Glinda skipped inside heading straight for the bookshelves along the wall. “Well, where is this book all about me?” she asked as she bounced on her toes in front of the shelves. She skimmed the titles “I don’t see anything at all that looks interesting here, most of these sound icky.”
Henry crouched down to examine some of the lower shelves while explaining “it’s not actually all about you, it’s more about a little girl named Dorothy, did you know her?”
“Oh her” Glinda pouted. “She wasn’t very interesting at all, just walked around and caused a fuss and ruined a few lives. Then went back to wherever she was from with her little dog Dodo. Who brings a dog with them on a vacation anyways? It’s not very practical and he wasn’t even a Dog so he was no company at all…”
“Here it is” Henry said glad to have found the book so he could end the chatter.
“Oooh let me see” Glinda said taking the book from his hands.
“Be careful that’s a first editi…” Henry began as Glinda plopped herself down on his couch and cracked the spine of the book. “…never mind.”
Glinda began to skim through the pages. As she flipped to the middle of the book she said “well this isn’t much like what happened at all, is this what you call ‘History’ then?”
Henry looked at her confused, “History?” he repeated, “not exactly. This was written as a children’s book, as fiction, make believe. But if you’re here and you know the people in that book then maybe it was something more.”
“Well it looks like History to me” exclaimed Glinda as she slammed shut the volume. “The Wizard said that where he came from people believed all sorts of things that weren’t true and they called them History. I think I’ve seen enough of this place, I’m going to be on my way home now.” Glinda said as she put the book aside and gathered up her bag.
“Do you know how to find your way between worlds?” Henry asked in an incredulous voice. He couldn’t believe that someone who seemed as flaky as Glinda had mastered such a magical skill.
“Well of course” Glinda said indignantly. “I kept the shoes you know and Elphie left me all kinds of instructions in her Grimmerie I am fully capable of getting home. Even a child can do it.” She straightened her tiara and headed towards the door but her eye was caught by a stack of Henry’s romance books sitting on an end table. “Are these History too?” She asked running one finger over the bare-chested buccaneer on the cover.
“Not exactly” Henry said “those are books I wrote. I suppose they have some historical fact in them but most of the story is invented.”
Glinda looked at him “then if something you wrote is true that is how you write History as I understand it.” She looked back at the cover illustration of the book and cleared her throat “may I borrow one of these for… research of your History” she inquired.
Henry smiled “you may take the whole stack if you wish.”
Glinda smiled brightly and put the stack of books into her satin tote bag. Now I shall have to do something for you in return. She said reaching into her bag for her wand.
“You really don’t have to do that” Henry said quickly.
“Why does everyone say that when I’m just trying to be nice” Glinda exclaimed, but she still tucked her wand back into her bag and stared thoughtfully at Henry for a moment. Then she smiled and said “I know! You don’t need much but I can teach you the hair toss, I’m very pretty and you’ve not tried it on me all night. You should learn.”
Glinda then spent 15 minutes, somewhat excruciating minutes for Henry, explaining the difference between a simple hair toss and the double “toss toss” for added effect
“Now you try” she said looking hopefully at Henry.
Henry sighed “I’m not really a ‘toss toss’ type of person...” he began and then thought better of his protest as Glinda reached for her wand again.
“Alright” he said in compliance and did the double hair toss for Glinda’s approval just as Vicky walked in the door to his condo.
Glinda positively squealed in delight “I knew you had it in you!”
From the doorway Vicky snorted “I didn’t.” She stood beside the door way, both eyebrows raised looking at Henry. “Don’t stop on my account” she said barely keeping the laughter from her voice.
Glinda looked between the two of them and decided that was her cue to leave. “Well I’ll just be on my way then” she said as she swung her bag over her shoulder and smiled at Henry. “Thank you for lending me some of your History books, I’m sure I’ll find them educational.”
Glinda waved to Vicky and Henry as she walked out the door “goodbye, pleased to meet you both” she said. Then she clicked her heels together three times whole saying “Oz please” and suddenly there was nothing left in the hallway but a couple of pink sparkles on the floor.
“Well that was new… and pink” Vicky said raising an eyebrow at Henry, “friend of yours?”
Henry shook his head in response “I’m not quite sure what that was” he said.
“Well don’t ‘toss toss’ too much about it” Vicky smirked, “I’ve got something new for you, Coreen called and apparently she met someone claiming to be ‘the Fox Mulder’ tonight. She left me a message and told me to ‘trust no one’ and that she’d be in tomorrow.” Vicky looked at Henry “do you think we have a shape shifter, or a demon, or…”
Henry thought of his night so far. “I think anything is possible on a dark and stormy night.” He looked up at her “Coffee?” he asked as he gestured towards the bag from Second Cup. “It looks like it’s going to be a long night.”
Title: A Dark and Stormy Night
Author: elizalavelle
Rating: G
Authors note: For the purposes of this story the novel ‘Wicked’ by Gregory Maguire has not been written, which means that the musical has not been created. That being said I’ve borrowed very Kristin Chenoweth inspired Glinda for my story so one can presume the events of Wicked have happened, we just don’t know about them yet.
Also it should be said this idea was complete crack inspired by my icon (points to icon in use) and the ending was in part inspired by a TV meme ( here) that I did last week. It’s highly possible that LiveJournal has damaged my mind ;)
It was a dark and stormy night. That would have been ominous but the truth was that the past week had been nothing but dark and stormy nights; this made them really less “dark and stormy” and instead more “inconvenient and rainy.” Henry Fitzroy hated November. It was cold and usually rainy and that made people in a rush to get everywhere. Thus it was harder for him to find a decent dining companion. This particular night he’d gotten lucky and had caught a mugger in the park. Just a kid really, the pros didn’t work outside in weather like this. There were hardly any people around for him to jump and those who were walking were all to aware of their miserable surroundings. There were no easy targets. Henry had caught the child with ease and explained the error of his ways to him…
Now there was one less mugger in his park and Henry was ready to call it a night and head back to his apartment. Vicky was supposed to drop by with some case or other that night. She’s been showing up with more ordinary cases as well as the supernatural ones. Whether she was aware of it or not she was starting to treat Henry like her partner on all of her cases. This thought brought a hint of a smile to Henry’s lips but he was careful not to push the issue with Vicky yet… not too much at least.
As Henry briskly walked back to his apartment it began to rain. He had an umbrella with him but still ducked into a Second Cup to stay dry. He figured he could pick up some more coffee for Vicky to drink while they reviewed her new case. Cops and coffee just went together and she went through more of the stuff than he thought was humanly possible some nights.
He was browsing the shelves full of assorted flavours of coffee as he heard the bell over the door jingle and a high pitched voice announce “it’s good to see me isn’t it?..” and then more quietly “or at least it would be if this rain wasn’t ruining my curls.” This was said as she despondently tugged at one of the limp curls framing her face.
Henry turned to see a woman who was so tiny she’d made him feel statuesque. She was clad all in pink from her high heeled shoes to the tiny pink jewels in her tiara. She had a pink satin tote bag and it appeared that she had a wand of some type poking out of the top of her bag. For most of the customers in the Second Cup she was just another random Toronto oddity and after a quick look everyone went back to their laptops and lattes. Henry took a second look at the woman; there was something not quite about her which was setting off his supernatural senses.
Oblivious to Henry’s scrutiny the tiny woman wandered up to the counter and surveyed the menu options. “I think I’ll take one candy cane hot chocolate, with whipped cream please” she chirped, “just a small one, have to watch the figure you know” she followed in a hushed tone.
The barista began making the drink and the man at the cash register quoted a price that Henry always found much too high for something as simple as a hot chocolate. The woman began to search through her purse muttering that she knew she had the right currency in there somewhere. Henry caught a glimpse of what appeared to be a bag of jewels amongst the assorted items in the woman’s bag and stepped in before she could attempt to pay with them.
“Allow me” he said giving one of his more charming smiles as he passed a five dollar bill to the gentleman at the register.
The woman paused and looked up. “Oh my” she said taking in Henry’s appearance. She nodded to accept his offer. Henry turned the charm up a notch and asked “may I walk you to wherever you’re heading tonight?” He held up an umbrella “the rain doesn’t look as though it’s letting up anytime soon.”
The woman agreed and took her hot chocolate to go as Henry purchased some Royal Blend coffee to brew for Vicky that night. They walked out together into the dreary night.
As soon as they’d walked out of sight from the Second Cup Henry turned to the woman and introduced himself “I’m Henry” he said “and who might you be?” Not smooth at all but it would get the job done.
The woman looked up at him and replied “I’m Glinda the Good of course. I thought you knew me and that’s why you so kindly offered your assistance.”
Henry smirked and then let a little of his mask drop. “Who are you really” he asked, his tone demanding the truth.
Glinda drew herself up to her full high (which Henry estimated to be about 5”1’ in the heels) and replied in a more regal tone “I am Glinda the Good, formally Galinda of the upper Uplands and who exactly do you think you are talking to me that way?”
Henry blinked somewhat surprised. There was something not quite human about this woman and she at least really did believe she she was who she said she was.
“Just to clarify you’re the Glinda, as in Glinda from the Wizard of Oz?” Henry asked.
“Oh good, you do know who I am, although we just say Oz, the Wizard left us a while ago you know” Glinda replied with a smile. “I’m just here for a small trip, exploring new places was my Lurlinemas resolution this year you see. Do you know the Wizard as well? I think he was from somewhere around here, more here than there at least I think…”
Henry cut off Glinda’s run on sentence feeling that if he didn’t he’d be stuck standing in the rain all night.
“Do you know that you are in books in this world?” he asked. “I have the original Oz story in my collection if you would like to examine it…”
Glinda took the bait wanting to see how someone from another world had written about her. “Did they draw me as well? What did they write about exactly…” her questions began as Henry steered her back towards his condo.
Fortunately for Henry’s ears he didn’t live to far away and he only had to last through 7 minutes of run on questions until he was at the door to his condo and had the key in the lock.
He opened the door and Glinda skipped inside heading straight for the bookshelves along the wall. “Well, where is this book all about me?” she asked as she bounced on her toes in front of the shelves. She skimmed the titles “I don’t see anything at all that looks interesting here, most of these sound icky.”
Henry crouched down to examine some of the lower shelves while explaining “it’s not actually all about you, it’s more about a little girl named Dorothy, did you know her?”
“Oh her” Glinda pouted. “She wasn’t very interesting at all, just walked around and caused a fuss and ruined a few lives. Then went back to wherever she was from with her little dog Dodo. Who brings a dog with them on a vacation anyways? It’s not very practical and he wasn’t even a Dog so he was no company at all…”
“Here it is” Henry said glad to have found the book so he could end the chatter.
“Oooh let me see” Glinda said taking the book from his hands.
“Be careful that’s a first editi…” Henry began as Glinda plopped herself down on his couch and cracked the spine of the book. “…never mind.”
Glinda began to skim through the pages. As she flipped to the middle of the book she said “well this isn’t much like what happened at all, is this what you call ‘History’ then?”
Henry looked at her confused, “History?” he repeated, “not exactly. This was written as a children’s book, as fiction, make believe. But if you’re here and you know the people in that book then maybe it was something more.”
“Well it looks like History to me” exclaimed Glinda as she slammed shut the volume. “The Wizard said that where he came from people believed all sorts of things that weren’t true and they called them History. I think I’ve seen enough of this place, I’m going to be on my way home now.” Glinda said as she put the book aside and gathered up her bag.
“Do you know how to find your way between worlds?” Henry asked in an incredulous voice. He couldn’t believe that someone who seemed as flaky as Glinda had mastered such a magical skill.
“Well of course” Glinda said indignantly. “I kept the shoes you know and Elphie left me all kinds of instructions in her Grimmerie I am fully capable of getting home. Even a child can do it.” She straightened her tiara and headed towards the door but her eye was caught by a stack of Henry’s romance books sitting on an end table. “Are these History too?” She asked running one finger over the bare-chested buccaneer on the cover.
“Not exactly” Henry said “those are books I wrote. I suppose they have some historical fact in them but most of the story is invented.”
Glinda looked at him “then if something you wrote is true that is how you write History as I understand it.” She looked back at the cover illustration of the book and cleared her throat “may I borrow one of these for… research of your History” she inquired.
Henry smiled “you may take the whole stack if you wish.”
Glinda smiled brightly and put the stack of books into her satin tote bag. Now I shall have to do something for you in return. She said reaching into her bag for her wand.
“You really don’t have to do that” Henry said quickly.
“Why does everyone say that when I’m just trying to be nice” Glinda exclaimed, but she still tucked her wand back into her bag and stared thoughtfully at Henry for a moment. Then she smiled and said “I know! You don’t need much but I can teach you the hair toss, I’m very pretty and you’ve not tried it on me all night. You should learn.”
Glinda then spent 15 minutes, somewhat excruciating minutes for Henry, explaining the difference between a simple hair toss and the double “toss toss” for added effect
“Now you try” she said looking hopefully at Henry.
Henry sighed “I’m not really a ‘toss toss’ type of person...” he began and then thought better of his protest as Glinda reached for her wand again.
“Alright” he said in compliance and did the double hair toss for Glinda’s approval just as Vicky walked in the door to his condo.
Glinda positively squealed in delight “I knew you had it in you!”
From the doorway Vicky snorted “I didn’t.” She stood beside the door way, both eyebrows raised looking at Henry. “Don’t stop on my account” she said barely keeping the laughter from her voice.
Glinda looked between the two of them and decided that was her cue to leave. “Well I’ll just be on my way then” she said as she swung her bag over her shoulder and smiled at Henry. “Thank you for lending me some of your History books, I’m sure I’ll find them educational.”
Glinda waved to Vicky and Henry as she walked out the door “goodbye, pleased to meet you both” she said. Then she clicked her heels together three times whole saying “Oz please” and suddenly there was nothing left in the hallway but a couple of pink sparkles on the floor.
“Well that was new… and pink” Vicky said raising an eyebrow at Henry, “friend of yours?”
Henry shook his head in response “I’m not quite sure what that was” he said.
“Well don’t ‘toss toss’ too much about it” Vicky smirked, “I’ve got something new for you, Coreen called and apparently she met someone claiming to be ‘the Fox Mulder’ tonight. She left me a message and told me to ‘trust no one’ and that she’d be in tomorrow.” Vicky looked at Henry “do you think we have a shape shifter, or a demon, or…”
Henry thought of his night so far. “I think anything is possible on a dark and stormy night.” He looked up at her “Coffee?” he asked as he gestured towards the bag from Second Cup. “It looks like it’s going to be a long night.”