I can taste the alcohol on your alcohol.
In statistics tonight my professor said that if we couldn't find the standard deviation button on our calculators, then we could bring them to him during the class break and he would help us look. So, I walked to the front of the class with my TI-30XA and this woman stepped right in front of me and stood so I could not get through the row. "Excuse me. Excuse me. EXCUSE ME." She left me no fucking choice but to shove my way through. I looked down at her hands and she had nine finger nails so long that they curled like snails' shells. The tenth one, her index finger on her right hand was completely without the nail. I thought to myself, "Wow, that's disgusting." Then it dawned on me--if she had ten curly finger nails then she wouldn't be able to punch the standard deviation key on her calculator.
Katie called. It was Drew Danburry. Then it was Katie. I called Elliot and said, "Katie called. I talked to Drew Danburry. Then Katie." Elliot replied, "Go downtown and look at the vagina on this _______elf/princess/warrior/knight." (I forgot what he said.)
Tonight has been weird. I rented "Bad Education" except I mistakingly rented it from the Christian shelf (if that exists) because when Gael Garcia Bernal was supposed to be giving a blowjob, all I could see was a giant, pixelated blur. I don't even want to TALK about the blurry mess that occurred when he was being penetrated in his anus. God is not on my side. Who censors a Gael Garcia Bernal movie?
Anna Nicole Smith died.
Elliot: Did you hear Anna Nicole died?
Me: Yes, that is sad.
Elliot: I hope that when she gets to heaven that old guy she married wants to get with her again
Me: What was his name?
Milton Bradley.
Elliot: Yes, I think that was it.
Katie called. It was Drew Danburry. Then it was Katie. I called Elliot and said, "Katie called. I talked to Drew Danburry. Then Katie." Elliot replied, "Go downtown and look at the vagina on this _______elf/princess/warrior/knight." (I forgot what he said.)
Tonight has been weird. I rented "Bad Education" except I mistakingly rented it from the Christian shelf (if that exists) because when Gael Garcia Bernal was supposed to be giving a blowjob, all I could see was a giant, pixelated blur. I don't even want to TALK about the blurry mess that occurred when he was being penetrated in his anus. God is not on my side. Who censors a Gael Garcia Bernal movie?
Anna Nicole Smith died.
Elliot: Did you hear Anna Nicole died?
Me: Yes, that is sad.
Elliot: I hope that when she gets to heaven that old guy she married wants to get with her again
Me: What was his name?
Milton Bradley.
Elliot: Yes, I think that was it.