Writer's Block: RIP Michael Jackson
I have to admit I used to be pretty ashamed of the fact that MJ was the first celebrity crush I ever had, when I was very very little, like, 5 or 6.
My brother, who was around 10 years old, was a huge Hanson fan (does any of you even remember those guys except for you, Di?) and there were posters of them on our bedroom walls, along with a Walt Disney one (I think I had 'Beauty and the Beast' which was my favorite Disney movie back then) and some environmental ones from a project my brother participated in with his school. And since I was very very little back then, I had this huge fascination with a famous Greek actress, so I had many posters of her on my desk. And next to hers, was a tiny poster of MJ that my cousin had brought me, I think from one of these old magazines she used to buy.
I didn't even know how to pronounce his name back then, and it's not like I even understood his music or his lyrics. I'm not one of these people who were fans of him from such an early age since that would be impossible, I didn't speak English and I only liked cartoons back then. I fell in love with MJ (because I'm perfectly sure I thought he was the love of my life lol) quite accidentally.
I have this extremely vivid memory from my childhood that never quite left my mind. I used to watch TV all day long in hopes of finding cartoons or anything Disney-related, and since I was the youngest one of my family and a girl, I didn't have someone to hang out with when I was at home. I still remember it as if it was yesterday. Something was wrong with our TV (I'm sure it was something I'd done lol) and there was no signal from any popular TV station, the only thing the TV could broadcast was this low-budget station that I had never seen before. So since there was no Disney or cartoon, I started drawing on my desk, until I got bored of that and went to check if the TV was okay or not. And that was the first time I saw MJ.
Actually, I didn't even see him. He had this white hat on, and he was talking to some children and his voice was all soft and stuff, and the children were like " *___* " so, who was I to not pay attention, you know? So I just looked at him without even realizing what he was talking about, he had this white suit on and he was moving his hands in the air as he was speaking and all I wanted was to see his face 'cause he seemed like such a ~*mystery*~, I mean, I COULDN'T SEE HIS FACE, YOU KNOW??? D: And then like, 2 or 3 minutes later I got angry because I didn't see his face and he left and I was ready to turn the TV off until he entered a bar or something like that and started dancing out of nowhere. And little me was so shocked since I had never seen such a thing in my life, someone dancing like that with a hat on, how could he even see where he was standing?? And that was pretty much it.
I remember I didn't really pay attention afterwards, I couldn't tell anyone about it because they would make fun of me for watching a movie in english that I didn't know lol. But then, every time I turned my TV on and flicked through the channels, this particular channel always, always had this movie and I always had to watch that MYSTERIOUS guy. I later on found it was MJ thanks to my cousin and I was officially a fan of his white hat even though I couldn't see his stupid face! I still recall how, up until almost two years ago, I would occasionally ask if anyone knew whether Michael had played in a movie or not, and everyone told me they didn't think so. I seriously considered I had gone nuts because I remembered the scene and I remembered the poster and I couldn't believe it was all in my head.
And it all clicked yesterday. I was watching this dvd of his greatest short films or something like that, and suddenly Smooth Criminal comes on, the whole version of him walking in the bar and the kids watching him from this tiny window of the door and him winking at them and I almost felt like crying, because it was like I traveled 15 years back and saw myself as a stupid baby-girl watching TV. I don't even understand how I never made a connection, since he is still wearing a white hat and a white suit and I had already watched the video 100 times. Maybe 'cause I had never watched the long version of it. It was the most beautiful thing I have ever felt in my life :)))) I don't have lots of memories from that era of my childhood, and it was the exact time that I was a happy kid like every other, just before stupid school started. Remembering that in such a vivid way was priceless <3
And just to be back on topic, even though Smooth Criminal holds a special place in my heart, I would have to choose Bad as my all time favorite video+song combination of him. I love many many many of his songs, I adore Dirty Diana and Beat it (and I dislike Thriller lol) but Bad is just... ugh. Sexy and meaningful and kickass and just amazing.
I never imagined I would have gotten so sad after hearing the news of his death. My brother got in my room late at night on the 25th of June and I was surprised 'cause he never comes in my room so late and he told me there are websites claiming he's dead. At first I thought it was a joke so I let it go, but then he kept sending me links of CNN news and reports that sounded pretty convincing and real and I just couldn't believe it. I was never a HUGE fan of MJ, I really liked his music and enjoyed the way he danced and loved loooots of his songs, but I never got myself to actually look more into his stuff and his career 'cause then I would be considered even a biggest freak than I already was. And even though I was born in the late 80s and have no idea how it was to be a fan of him during that period, he still is a huge part of my childhood.
I'll never forget how my brother, strangely enough, liked Billie Jean a lot, and we used to sing it all day long, and he was always singing "Billie Jean is not my love", and I was always like, "Nooo, it's lover, not love!" but he went on anyway. He still sings love instead of lover :)
And I guess now it's cool to say that I'm a fan, so there it goes lol :D Funny thing how I recently thought of buying all his cds since I always buy the cds I download and enjoy, but buying them now would make me feel very very strange :( I remember how I felt after buying the Nirvana ones, I'm not sure I'd like to feel that way again.
My brother, who was around 10 years old, was a huge Hanson fan (does any of you even remember those guys except for you, Di?) and there were posters of them on our bedroom walls, along with a Walt Disney one (I think I had 'Beauty and the Beast' which was my favorite Disney movie back then) and some environmental ones from a project my brother participated in with his school. And since I was very very little back then, I had this huge fascination with a famous Greek actress, so I had many posters of her on my desk. And next to hers, was a tiny poster of MJ that my cousin had brought me, I think from one of these old magazines she used to buy.
I didn't even know how to pronounce his name back then, and it's not like I even understood his music or his lyrics. I'm not one of these people who were fans of him from such an early age since that would be impossible, I didn't speak English and I only liked cartoons back then. I fell in love with MJ (because I'm perfectly sure I thought he was the love of my life lol) quite accidentally.
I have this extremely vivid memory from my childhood that never quite left my mind. I used to watch TV all day long in hopes of finding cartoons or anything Disney-related, and since I was the youngest one of my family and a girl, I didn't have someone to hang out with when I was at home. I still remember it as if it was yesterday. Something was wrong with our TV (I'm sure it was something I'd done lol) and there was no signal from any popular TV station, the only thing the TV could broadcast was this low-budget station that I had never seen before. So since there was no Disney or cartoon, I started drawing on my desk, until I got bored of that and went to check if the TV was okay or not. And that was the first time I saw MJ.
Actually, I didn't even see him. He had this white hat on, and he was talking to some children and his voice was all soft and stuff, and the children were like " *___* " so, who was I to not pay attention, you know? So I just looked at him without even realizing what he was talking about, he had this white suit on and he was moving his hands in the air as he was speaking and all I wanted was to see his face 'cause he seemed like such a ~*mystery*~, I mean, I COULDN'T SEE HIS FACE, YOU KNOW??? D: And then like, 2 or 3 minutes later I got angry because I didn't see his face and he left and I was ready to turn the TV off until he entered a bar or something like that and started dancing out of nowhere. And little me was so shocked since I had never seen such a thing in my life, someone dancing like that with a hat on, how could he even see where he was standing?? And that was pretty much it.
I remember I didn't really pay attention afterwards, I couldn't tell anyone about it because they would make fun of me for watching a movie in english that I didn't know lol. But then, every time I turned my TV on and flicked through the channels, this particular channel always, always had this movie and I always had to watch that MYSTERIOUS guy. I later on found it was MJ thanks to my cousin and I was officially a fan of his white hat even though I couldn't see his stupid face! I still recall how, up until almost two years ago, I would occasionally ask if anyone knew whether Michael had played in a movie or not, and everyone told me they didn't think so. I seriously considered I had gone nuts because I remembered the scene and I remembered the poster and I couldn't believe it was all in my head.
And it all clicked yesterday. I was watching this dvd of his greatest short films or something like that, and suddenly Smooth Criminal comes on, the whole version of him walking in the bar and the kids watching him from this tiny window of the door and him winking at them and I almost felt like crying, because it was like I traveled 15 years back and saw myself as a stupid baby-girl watching TV. I don't even understand how I never made a connection, since he is still wearing a white hat and a white suit and I had already watched the video 100 times. Maybe 'cause I had never watched the long version of it. It was the most beautiful thing I have ever felt in my life :)))) I don't have lots of memories from that era of my childhood, and it was the exact time that I was a happy kid like every other, just before stupid school started. Remembering that in such a vivid way was priceless <3
And just to be back on topic, even though Smooth Criminal holds a special place in my heart, I would have to choose Bad as my all time favorite video+song combination of him. I love many many many of his songs, I adore Dirty Diana and Beat it (and I dislike Thriller lol) but Bad is just... ugh. Sexy and meaningful and kickass and just amazing.
I never imagined I would have gotten so sad after hearing the news of his death. My brother got in my room late at night on the 25th of June and I was surprised 'cause he never comes in my room so late and he told me there are websites claiming he's dead. At first I thought it was a joke so I let it go, but then he kept sending me links of CNN news and reports that sounded pretty convincing and real and I just couldn't believe it. I was never a HUGE fan of MJ, I really liked his music and enjoyed the way he danced and loved loooots of his songs, but I never got myself to actually look more into his stuff and his career 'cause then I would be considered even a biggest freak than I already was. And even though I was born in the late 80s and have no idea how it was to be a fan of him during that period, he still is a huge part of my childhood.
I'll never forget how my brother, strangely enough, liked Billie Jean a lot, and we used to sing it all day long, and he was always singing "Billie Jean is not my love", and I was always like, "Nooo, it's lover, not love!" but he went on anyway. He still sings love instead of lover :)
And I guess now it's cool to say that I'm a fan, so there it goes lol :D Funny thing how I recently thought of buying all his cds since I always buy the cds I download and enjoy, but buying them now would make me feel very very strange :( I remember how I felt after buying the Nirvana ones, I'm not sure I'd like to feel that way again.